i live with my bf and we're saving to buy a house together in the next six months to a year, but we never get any quality time together because of his job, which he was supposed to leave six months ago.
i was offered a great job, great money doing something i love, being a manager of a spanish restaurant bar, i sat down with my bf and discussed the offer, but he said we would never see each other it would put a strain on the relationship and that i could earn better money on a 9-5 basis.
i reluctantly turned down the job. and went on to an earning
£4500 less than what i could have been on!
He then went and got a job in a bar saying it was the only thing avaliable for him at the time, but he would quit before christmas.
but he didnt, he hasnt even looked into alternative jobs and now that the assistant manager has left he has applied for a promotion.without even discussing it
i have tried to make him see what he said to me, but he just doesnt get it..
what can i do?
2007-05-20 09:59:34 · 10 answers · asked by Melinda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
From what you say here your boyfriend seems to think quite a lot more about what he wants that what you both want.
I don't know him, obviously, so it's not fair to judge his character, but his behaviour seems to be a problem for you. Maybe there's even a little bit of resentment there - as he basically stopped you from getting the great job you wanted?
The next time a job offer comes along that you really like then go for it.
2007-05-20 10:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by Nexus6 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is neing this unreasonable now I would NOT move in with him. Wait till you are sharing a mortgage and bills and he starts buying expensive things without discussing it then you will get into a mess. You should either show him this so he sees your point of view or sit down and explain how he is being.
Make sure the next time you get a good opportunity arise you DONT TURN IT DOWN because of him, you have got to do what is right for you, that is what he is doing.
good luck x
2007-05-20 17:07:26 · answer #2 · answered by curlyk8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's face it,he is selfish and wants to have things his way,it wasn't ok for you to get a job that was too much time demanding but when he found one for himself he jumped at it no matter what sacrifice you willingly did for the sake of your relationship.Let me tell you that it augurs ill of the future of your relationship as he seems to be pretty indifferent to your feelings whether they're about you missing a great job opportunity or him being away from home too much because of that job he took. As for him not getting you:"there's no such deaf as the one who will not hear...",he probably knows he's wrong and so he'd rather avoid dwelling into it...Think carefully about comitting to him any further.Wish you all the best.
2007-05-20 18:08:51 · answer #3 · answered by valerie_adele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems very unfair and i expect you will start to resent yer bf sooner or later, not really much you can do and as he clearly is selfish id reconsider buying a house with him right now, tell him your reason for this, explain that you feel he did not consider you at all when he took his new job yet you thought only of him and passed up your job opportunity on his word. give him some thing to think about.
2007-05-20 18:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, Focus on yourself ! Can you still get a job you love? He was very selfish not backing you. Not a good sign for a future husband. Break off now !
2007-05-20 17:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like he like telling what to do and he can do what he likes .....you should of taken that job as if you split up you have a good job....and know he doe's and you don't....get a grip on this know or this will be a big problem, when you buy a house...sit and tell him ...yes i say tell him what you are going to do and get a better job as he doe's not think of you or discus it with you when he is trying for another job with more hour's and pay.....good luck hunie
2007-05-20 17:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by missnicedell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you take the relationship a lot more seriously than he does. What he did is extremely selfish, you need to have a serious chat or give him an ultimatim ...
2007-05-20 17:34:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, out of all honestly. He wants to be the man in the relationship and not you, if you know what i mean. He doesn't want a women to make more than him trust me. Its a guy thing. Other than that there is nothing really to say to get through to him.
2007-05-20 17:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by ADAM M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He sounds selfish to me. Do you really need him?
2007-05-20 17:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by Winnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he ain't listening, and he won't listen, then go your own way, and if needs be, dump him.
2007-05-20 17:34:15 · answer #10 · answered by Ghostrider 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋