In a nutshell, my twin sister is a lesbian and she is having a ceremony with her partner in July...but we had a very intense disagreement last month...We were hanging out with a group of friends, and at some point we began having the debate about whether homosexuality is genetic or a choice...during the discussion, my sister said she believes it is genetic, and me being her twin brother (and straight)...I disagreed with her...I guess we just never talked about this before, I accepted her and she accepted me and that was it (and I don't really care in the first place)...but this led to the worst argument we have ever had together...we haven't spoken since, and I feel like I've lost my best friend...we went from talking at least once a day to total silence, and its killing me inside...on top of that, I know the invitations have already been mailed, and I did not receive one...if she's getting married, I really do want to be there...and further, I want to make up...any ideas?
2007-05-20 07:39:21 · 13 answers · asked by Dokdouglas 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We're both pretty stubborn...I guess we just never really butted heads with each other before...she has her opinion and I have mine...but if I thought the discussion would lead to all of this, I would have backed off...and I'm thinking about just showing up to the ceremony anyway (invited or not)
2007-05-20 07:39:39 · update #1
UPDATE---I just wanted to thank all of you for your answers...It turns out that a mutual friend saw my question, forwarded it to my sister, and my phone rang about 5 minutes later...we talked for about the next 4 hours or so (had to make up for some lost time), but we only talked about our argument for a few minutes...turns out neither one of us really care about the "why" part anyway...and we went back to the normal things we usually talk about pretty quickly...I am so relieved now...and she wanted to say to those that advised me not to show up at the ceremony uninvited, that I AM invited and she would never have excluded me from being there (it was just an oversight)...and she actually liked knowing I would have shown up anyway...in fact, she said if I didn't come, she'd kill me...lol...again, thanks to you all that replied...I chose a "best answer", but I think you all had good advice...take care!!
2007-05-20 12:16:34 · update #2
I know that this has GOT to be a tough situation. In all honesty, what difference does it make whether it's genetic or not? I think that the most important thing is that you are accepting of her lifestyle. I would advice you to approach her and apologize (even if you don't want to... some times we have to suck it up). Say that you're sorry for offending her and that it is probably best for you to simply agree to disagree. I don't think that there will ever be answer to the question regarding homosexuality's origin. Again, you're not apologizing for the way that you think, you are simply apologizing for making her upset. That obviously wasn't your intention.
2007-05-20 07:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by meeches85 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have a right to feel that way about homosexuality but using yourself as an example is not a logical argument. You being a boy and her being a girl you are no more close related genetically than any other brother and sister. You shared a womb but have completely different genes coming from completely separate sets of egg and sperm.
That pointed out maybe you should contact your sister and apologize (at least for letting the fight get out of hand) and tell her how you feel about wanting to be there for her ceremony.
2007-05-20 07:48:38 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you are just going to have to try to make it right. let her know that you love her. What does it matter whether or not you think lesbianism is a choice or enviromental or genetic or a combination. Send her a copy of your question. Better yet, send her a letter with a wedding present. She may have misunderstood and felt rejected.
By the way, a gift idea might be a photo album, a framed picture of the two of them. A gift certificate for a portrait studio. Something personal for both of them.
2007-05-20 07:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by dmjrev 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of showing up at the ceremony uninvited you may start by showing up at her house when you know she's gonna be home. Talk to her apologize tell her you don't want something like philosophical issue.. tell her you love her and tell her what you told us... She's your twin you two have a unique bond... so i'm sure she's feeling the same way... You could also try writing her a letter... or maybe ask your mom or dad to "mediate". mom's are really good at such things... but going and seeing her would probably be the best.
2007-05-20 07:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by Jembee1720 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Twins or not, you are both quite capable of disagreement.
That doesnt mean you cant continue to support each other.
Who knows maybe one day, one of you may change your mind and be able to come to some sort of an agreement.
Do NOT allow stubborness to come between you so deeply.
Everyone has a right to their thinking. And what she is saying is simply that she is unable to change what she thinks and feels. Give her that benefit. And hopefully she will do the same for you.
2007-05-20 07:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the end family is what matters . Don't let pride or hurt feelings keep you from an important event with your twins life like that. You regret last month you would regret not being there too .
Make up with your twin no matter what it takes.
2007-05-20 07:53:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is probably feeling the same way as you or even worse.
U may be embarrassed if u attend the ceremony. Not attending may teach her some lesson so I'd say u shouldn't attend. Just hang on.
2007-05-20 07:47:38 · answer #7 · answered by sholly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't show up at the ceremony unless you have talked to your sister (it could cause embarassment) instead-call her and tell her what you just said. She is probably missing you as much as you are her, just being stubborn about it. Stubborn can be very lonely.
2007-05-20 07:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by msmthtchr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not telephone her and say you regret the disagreement, that you love her and miss her?
OH, don't let a stupid argument cause a major rift between the two of you. Sometimes you have to eat humble pie. Otherwise the rift goes bigger and deeper. Go on, phone her tonight.
2007-05-20 07:43:41 · answer #9 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it is a sensitive situation. i think you should apologize and tell her how you feel. like you never meant to hurt her and that you accept her and love her the way she is. tell her you want to be there when he gets married. now you say youre stubborn. does that mean that you dont want to apologize? well... even though you have a right to your opinion, you should have thought before you said. cause that does sound like it hurt her feelings. im not saying youre a bad person, you just made a mistake. we all do. just put your subborn-ness aside and apologize!
2007-05-20 07:45:06 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋