They are both well paid have a beautiful home and go on loads of holidays and they asked for money. I think that is rude I will give them money and a small gift what do you think?
2007-05-20 04:10:46 · 78 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes it is rude. Just give them a card. Have a good day. xx
2007-05-20 04:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 7⤋
Let's face it, it is never cheap to attend a wedding anyway - drinks, often accommodation, taxis, something to wear etc. The couple should desire your company more than anything monetary or any sort of gift.
Making a wedding present list should be a way to help the guests, not fleece them dry! I agree that many couples nowadays don't have a need for the traditional presents to kit-out a house, because they usually already live together and have the things they need.
But I think it is rude to ask for cash for an unspecified reason. If a couple asks for money towards the cost of something specific, however, then the giver is contributing towards a communal gift.
We are getting married in just over a year, and have more or less decided on what we will ask for:
As a guest you can either a)donate something towards the honeymoon (which can be an anonymous amount, by the way), b) donate money to a charity that helps people suffering from MND, c) buy something you think would suit us, or d) don't buy anything, but turn up at the wedding - the company of those you love is a major part of the day NOT how much you can be seen to dish out to the couple.
Therefore, you should go to the wedding - it would be rude and petty not to - but if you want to buy a present, then buy one within your budget that you think will suit them both.
2007-05-20 07:54:53 · answer #2 · answered by rich and lou 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Let me ask you something; do you think it's rude because that's what the ettiquette tells you and that's a big taboo subject right now or do you really feel strongly about it?
Consider it from their side; they have, as you said, a beautiful home, go on lots of holidays - well, they have everything! What else could they ask for? They may well be putting that money aside to save for something, they could be using it to finance something they couldn't afford otherwise.
It's becoming more and more sociably acceptable to ask for money because more and more couples are co-habiting before they get married. I personally don't agree with co-habiting before marriage as I'm a Christian but that's the way it goes :)
If you feel really strongly about the money thing, consider buying them vouchers for John Lewis or Habitat or something. That would probably show more love and consideration.
2007-05-21 01:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Stevo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people do this now a days and it's not only rude but absolutely tacky and just shows how ignorant they are. If you are correct in what you say then the couple in question have everything then they are even worse than the norm. If they have everything, including plenty of money and felt people would still buy gifts they knew they didn't want then it would have been in order to ask for money towards a charity as there are plenty of needy people in the world. I have said time and again we are not aware of all friends and family's financial circumstances and this can put people in a real embarrassing position if they had perhaps getting a couple a gift with something like a store card.
2007-05-20 06:51:58 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Wedding guests are offended and insulted when a Bride and Groom put that type of information on a wedding invitation, it is inappropriate and does not belong there. Consider a "honeymoon" registry which is similiar to a gift registry or gift list. Have your parents and wedding party members pass that information "by word of mouth" to the invited guests. Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2016-05-22 00:14:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see it differently.
Traditionally, wedding gifts are supposed to provide the couple with things they'll need in their new household.
Nowadays, however, couples get to "try before they buy", meaning that they live together for a little while before even think of getting married. That's quite a smart thing to do, I may add, as people often jump to the marriage thing based on emotions, and not thinking through whether their chosen partner is right for them.
Anyway, back to the wedding gifts thing...
When couples have lived together for a little while, they often have all (or most of) the housewares. Thus, when (and if) they decide to get married, the last thing they want is another iron, another washing machine, another blender, another power drill, another TV, etc. Get my drift?
So, what's left? 3 things: Best wishes (free), money, and gift vouchers.
Best wishes are a bit stingy, I reckon. But money and gift vouchers are ideal, as the couple can the decide what they'll get based on their current needs.
There are some people, though, who have the imagination of a snail, and come up with useless presents such as religious action figures (hehehe), doilies (what the hell is a doily for anyway?), picture frames (hopefully without the picture of the guest), picture albums (idem), and other ornaments that, quite frankly... stink as gifts.
So... don't be offended by their request.
If giving away money is hard for you, you may give them a gift voucher... but be wise in your choice. Don't give them a voucher for a hardware store, or for an electro-domestics store. Give them one for a general store, where both of them can get something for both of them, or for each of them individually.
2007-05-20 19:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by SkinnyJeff 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My sister got married three years ago, and to anyone who asked, she said," just give me cash". I know they were strapped for cash, and they did not ask on the wedding invitations for cash, but some people are not happy with the idea of giving cash, and I'd be one of them. I gave her 250 euro, which as a single mum, I could just manage, and she said "is that all?" when I gave it to her! Afterwards, I heard her bitching about her new sister-in-law, who"only" gave her 300 euro; when her new husband tried to shut her up, she said, "they can f**king afford more than that!"
It's the first and last time I'll give anyone cash as a gift. I went to Chinese wedding last year, and it's traditional to give cash as a wedding gift at a Chinese wedding; but we got them a gift instead.
It's not on to ask for money - you are being more than generous giving both - I like to think the gift I have given has some significnace for the couple.
2007-05-21 04:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rude if they actually asked for it like in the invitation, but if they let it be known by word of mouth then there is nothing rude about it. Sometimes couples will even have a "wishing/money well". If they already own their home and make good money, they probably dont need anything, which is why they ask for money. They may want the money to help pay for the honeymoon or for the wedding if it is an expensive affair. If you want to get a gift, then think about candles or picture frames, these are always good gifts.
2007-05-20 05:12:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
Do you mean they've asked for money instead of a gift or they've asked for money for you to attend? If they've asked for money for you to attend I think that is a big cheek and I would want to know why they needed it. However, if they've asked for money instead of a present and I was going to purchase them a present, I wouldn't be as offended. Perhaps they have a certain thing in mind and just want to put it all together and purchase and rather than get things they don't need they're just being straight. I think I would get the small gift though so they don't know how much you've spent in total (if you give them the money with it) and then it's something to keep too.
2007-05-20 06:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
It is extremely rude to ask for money for a gift. The proper way to to register at a large retailer and let the wedding guests choose which gift they will give based on what the couple has chosen on their registry.
I would NOT give them money, on principal. Just give a small gift and let their families give them the money.
2007-05-20 07:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I agree with you.
It is not the usual etiquette!
Just read this....
What is the proper way to ask for monetary gifts on an invitation for my parents 40th wedding anniversary. They do not want to offend anyone by asking. How can this be placed on the invitation in a nice manner.
A. It's extremely difficult to ask for money on an invitation, most reference books on Anniversary Etiquette say that you should never ask for a monetary gift. One way I've seen round this and was successful was put on the invitation the reason for money, e.g. They are saving for a holiday of a lifetime or what ever the reason and that should you wish to contribute to this then there will be a collection box at the celebration that they can contribute. At the particular event I attended the box was placed prominently but discreetly in a corner of the room and thus you did not feel you had to contribute.
2007-05-20 04:12:52 · answer #11 · answered by thumberlina 6 · 6⤊ 3⤋