I want to know if i can use the internet to find the boy my mother adopted out.?

Question

34 years ago my mother adopted a baby out. I am keen to find him as he is my half brother. My mother is the only one who can find him through the adoption places, although i have herd there is a web site i may be able to visit. If anyone can help me with this that would be great.

Answer 1

Go for it! Lots of adoptees have been thrilled to have been found by siblings and uncles and aunts. Your mom can write the adoption agency and request the non-identifying information and whatever else is available to her.

I actually found my birthson by trying keywords in different order with his birthdate. And ignore the ignorant. It IS your business since he is your half brother.

Answer 2

It's pretty hard. There are a lot of sites that have postings that you can search but, it's very involving. You can depending on the information you have find out as much as possible about state laws of the state in which the child was put up for adoption. As a half-sibling you may or may not have rights depending upon the states laws. Some states allow for siblings and parents to leave contact information or letter for adopted person in their files. I helped my mother and older brother do this in relation to my half-brother who was adopted. He eventually contacted them but, still hasn't met them or spoken had any contact w/ extended family beyond their conversations. You can only make the option available to them and may not get what you want in the end. Good luck with this though, certainly look into it and take it as far as you can.

Answer 3

First of all, out of respect to your Mother, I think it only right to ask her permission to search, if possible. Then, you need to try to learn and use the proper adoption language, which is more respectful and less negative to anyone affected by adoption who is reading your post, or taking your phone call, or reading your letters, etc. Your Mother "placed a child for adoption", or "made an adoption plan for a baby". "Adopted out" is negative and awkward and may be hurtful, and I know that is NOT what you are wanting to do here! : ) Also look up "Positive Adoption Language" online, and there are many great lists and charts to print to and share!

So, in terms of your search, should you discover that it is o.k. to proceed, it is a fairly easy one to get started on. Simply type in your favorite search engine -- "adoption search -- (then your state, county, or region)". Or you can go to "Shar's Adoption Search" and this website will lead you through every step, allow you to post the info online, and discuss search techniques with other searchers. Often, other searches know a lot about your situation setting, attorney, orphanage, hospital, and it may build from there. Lots of folks have found who they are looking for through some of these great search organizations. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

There are websites and agencies where you could leave your information in case your half-brother has tried or tries to look up his biological family.

If you search "adoption reunion sites" or "biological families find adopted family members" or "adoption reunion networks" you may find something.

Many people believe it is best to leave information and allow the adopted individual to do the finding, rather than the other way around. Some adopted people have no interest in finding biological family members - not because they have anything against the biological family, but simply because they don't see people they don't know as "family" and are content with the family in which they grew up.

Answer 5

Do a quick internet search on "adoption searches" or "adoption reunion search". There are many great websites that have forums where people can post the adopted person's birth information to try to locate biological family members.

Is your mom ok with you searching? You could talk to her about doing a formal search through the agency she adopted him through. Agencies are great at facilitating reunion processes.

I searched for my birth mother through my agency, and they were the ones who made the first contact, tested the waters so to speak, and acted as mediator between us until we were comfortable exchanging personal contact information.

There is definitely a proper "ettiquette" for doing an adoption search. You don't want to be pushy, you want to respect privacy. And you MUST be prepared that the person you are searching for might not want to have a relationship with you or any contact at all - hopefully if this is the case you would respect their wishes.

Good luck.

Answer 6

There are many ways to search on the internet but each state is different with different laws and different information online.
This link will give you a listing of each states laws as to who can request information. Many states allow siblings to search using the states registry or confidential intermediary services.

http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/state-adoption-laws.html

A few states have birth indexes online. TX, CA, KY, NC, MN. These states are very easy to search. Some search angels have the birth records for OH as well.

I would suggest registering with ISRR.net (not ISRR.com which is a paid search site).

Register with as many online registries as you can. Here are a few:

http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/state-adoption-laws.html
http://forums.adoption.com/

www.findme.org

This site has a group of search angels who may be able to help (G's Adoption search)

http://www.aci.net/schaefer/page62.html

Each state has it's own state and private search sites as well.

Good luck!

Answer 7

States are very specific in who they release this information to if it's coming from a family member.
Your mother would have to sign a release of information as well. This is intended so that if the child should come looking for his/her bio, then the information can be released.

Check with your state laws though first.

There are websites that you can subscribe to. My sister finds bio's for adoptees in her spare time in the State of Texas. She has access to all kinds of records. There hasn't been a single case that she's not been able to help out on yet.

Good luck hon.

Answer 8

Hi,

There are several message boards you can try. I don't know the direct links, but if you go to About.com you can do search for message boards for birth parents, adoptive parents, etc..
Also the message boards at delphi have adoptive message boards. Adoption.com is a place you can go too.

Post a message with as much info that you have regarding the dates/places/situations. There are alot of people who have been where you are now that offer to help as well...they call themselves 'search Angels'

Good luck!

Answer 9

Oh, this undesirable little boy. you recognize what, i'm constructive it is extremely no longer ordinary to determine this little boy. i'm additionally particular it is plenty harder to be a small newborn who sounds like he has submit-worrying rigidity disease and is being put in situations that reason him to flash returned to that trauma persistently daily. he's associating you and your caretaking with the abuse in view which you're male. How interior the international could desire to any social worker place this newborn in a relatives the place a male became going to be his accepted caretaker?????? you could desire to do 2 issues genuine away. First, get expert help. your loved ones desires a good trauma therapist, optimistically one with experience with adoption, to enable you to methods to help this little boy start to heal. 2nd, you extremely, genuinely could desire to discover a manner for a woman to be doing the caretaking genuine now in view which you doing it is traumatizing for him genuine now. I understand that throughout all risk is hurtful to you, and it is no longer your fault, nor your son's, it is basically how issues are genuine now. possibly hire somebody in the process the days to do the diaper changing and feeding till you will hit upon a job and your spouse can stay residing house, something. yet you extremely can not be doing the caretaking projects that are traumatizing for him. you extremely could initiate letting this little boy understand you're secure from a distance. it is going to take a number of time to construct have confidence. Please, please get the help your loved ones desires. this occasion is extreme and that i hate to determine this little boy in a topic it is exacerbating his reaction to his previous trauma particularly of helping him discover ways to have confidence and experience secure.

Answer 10

yes there are several sites. internation soundex reunion registry...adoption triad...one list email communities..reunions on line and c.a.r.e., coalition for adoptions registry ethics...good luck...i found my birth daughter this way...