My best friend was cleaning house when she ran accross her boyfriends secret porn stash. She called me very upset and crying. She's heartbroken. She thinks that he is watching the porn because she is not good enough for him. I tried to explain to her that it is more of a fantasy thing, and he is not watching it because he would rather be with those women. But I started thinking about it and now I am sort of intruged. I guess I am just looking for a guys point of view on this. Am I right? Or is it possible that she is just not fufilling his needs? What is the deal with porn?
2007-05-19 23:09:51 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Definitely a fantasy thing for most men. It also gives them ideas on different things to try (sometimes you have to tell them normal people don't bend that far!), or answers questions that they have no-one to ask.
Men are visual creatures and it just satisfies a need they have to look.
Having said that however, anything that's disturbing, severely odd or really offensive in the stuff he's watching, it could be a warning sign of other problems.
Best that she talk it out with him and mutually decide what is and isn't acceptable. Who knows they might find out that they enjoy watching some of the stuff together.
2007-05-19 23:19:23 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm not a guy but HAD the same problem with my husband..
I am talking about an absolute addict.. I felt just like your friend
Made me feel completely inadequate and not a sexy bone in my body
So I confronted my husband and asked what was the fascination (because my husband was looking at some real kinky shi..t)
He couldn't really explain what the fascination was except he was really intrigued and then I site would lead him to another site and so on
I told him exactly how I was feeling and he said that it had no refection on me and that if it was upsetting me so much he would delete all the stuff. So he deleted it whilst i was there
Look nothing is going to stop guys from looking and the fact that it was just a turn on and yes a fantasy didn't solve the problem but did make me feel a bit better
and yes he still looks but not as often ,,,, he is a man after all
2007-05-19 23:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it is more upsetting that a house cleaning was so thorough that a "secret stash" was found. How deep was she prying into his business? Did the shoebox hiding in the bottom of the closet need dusting?
Many men will look at porn for the visuals. What is the percentage of men and women who would not find it exciting to watch others have sex? Probably 95% would find it exciting!
Ask your friend if she's fantasizing about the guy in the romance novel that she's reading. How exciting it would be if he swept her on to the bed, pulled back her blouse and .....
2007-05-19 23:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by answer 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Men like to see naked women, It doesn't have anything to do with our significant others. It's nothing more than fantasy for us. I don't ever feel that it is a substitute for my woman. A guy may occasionally masturbate while watching but that is because we are very visual and get turned on by what we see. This doesn't mean that we feel any less about you it just means that at that moment we are very horny.
Women should use this to their advantage and jump his bones when he is looking at porn.
2007-05-19 23:18:39 · answer #4 · answered by Gary M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you had to find it rather than him sharing it with you and being open about it. Man (and women) who view porn are curious and sexual beings. It is part fantasy and all arousal. My fiance loves when I look at porn so long as it does not interfere with our sex life. I am honest and open about it, only because she allows me to be without repurcussions. It should not take over the emotional aspect of the relationship. It could be something you both could share and enjoy once in a while together to keep it "steamy" and interesting. Watch it together sometime and see what happens. I would be honest with him about finding them, but do so in a mature and controlled manner and get his point of view. Allow for oppen dialogue and you may come to a common ground. Good luck
2007-05-20 00:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by koa 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Porn is an ordinary thing a person views .
Boys have certain needs which they think it should get full filled and in some cases it does .Masturbation is needed to control the flow of sex ..Its somewhat Guys 's theory .Girls can control their sex but they are horny .They don't admit it but they do watch porn as well .
Porn is GOOD!!
2007-05-19 23:41:12 · answer #6 · answered by silent_voices 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your friend is dumb. Guys just do that. It doesn't mean anything. He either just likes to do it or maybe he isn't even looking at it. It might have just been there from before. I mean if i suddenly met a girl, the first thing I would do would not be dumping my porno that doesn't make sense. I mean porn is NOT REAL PEOPLE. He is not dating or having sex with anybody but himself when he watches so again your friend is dumb.
2007-05-19 23:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by Matthew E 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
as a girl if i would find out that my boyfriend has porn i would be really upset too because is like ur friend said,since you do have sexual intercourse with ur boyfriend why would he chose and most important need to watch porn since he s being pleased by his girlfriend.yeah i would think that maybe i m not good enough for him and i dont please him enough thats why he watches porn to satisfy his "appetite" .probably guys will say thats not how things are but they should think that a woman,ur girlfriend would think in this way and not in the way that a man thinks.....
And just to note about something that another person said,i would never accept my bf to see porn to get in the mood,why,i m not pretty or sexy or whatever enough for him?
2007-05-19 23:18:52 · answer #8 · answered by nch 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
What i always say is this, my husband will never get with any of those women in ####, so go for it. he of course is not alllowed to get in the mood by looking at #### and they try to get off using me, its more of a thing since i work at night that if hes in the mood he can use it. it doesnt bother me any because i think hes normal, we all look at the opposite sex. maybe she shoudl talk to him it may be nothing i also sometimes watch soft #### with my husband it never does anything for me but does wonders for him, being honest about the entire thing will help both of them out.
the problem in this world is we have all these skinny girls who men think are gorgeous and women just like all humans get jelous and its normal especially when its something like this, however just so hes not getting horny by it than trying to get some i think its nothing to worry about the other way around than yea maybe shes not fullfilling his needs.
2007-05-19 23:16:55 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
All guys look at porn, infact it would be more unusual if he DIDN'T look at porn! In china they had to video tape succesfully mating pandas and actually show the video (panda porn) to male pandas who weren't mating succesfully, and they had huge success in getting the non-mating pandas to mate! The guys are the ones that need to know what to do and how to do it, I think they learn a lot from porn. Yeah girls have their tricks but be honest, guys do 90% of the work most of the time, and one girl can't teach a guy everything.
2007-05-19 23:14:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋