So i am a teen who goes to school & works part time. I have my learners. Pretty much all of my days consist of going to school, working, and spending time at my boyfriends house after work. Because of my parents having alcohol issues in the past they've pushed me away from them and not want to be home anymore, so i am spending more and more of my time at my boyfriends. I constantly feel like i am being used by my parents. They only want me home when they need me to clean the house or babysit my sister who is 10 years old. It's like every time i have plans im forced to cancel my plans or drop everything im doing at my parents every whim. Everything is always blamed on me. i feel unwanted, my boyfriends family is more of family to me than mine is. what should i do?
2007-05-19 16:12:58 · 10 answers · asked by princesslazyass 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well all u need to do is tell your people how u feel n if they don't listen make a believer out of them stay with our boyfriend until u can afford a apartment since their more family to u tell them your situation so they can understand too
2007-05-19 16:19:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.Dyson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may seem that they use you, but the truth is they NEED you. That is something you need to address with them. I am glad your boyfriends family has taken you in, but don't go to only them for help. There are free counseling services with Alcoholics Anonymous that you really need to be taking advantage of. (they do that for families of alcoholics you know). If you have a preacher you trust, go to him/her. Find a teacher you can trust or school counselor. You cannot limit your help to only one set of people or something will be missed and you will not get the results you want.
Love your family unconditionally and realize they have a problem that you may not be able to help, but you can contribute to some level of healing whether you realize it or not.
And do NOT abandon your 10 year old sister! No matter what you think of your parents, she really needs your love and guidance right now! You must be there to help her see that none of this is your fault or hers and that together you can help each other through. Eventually your parents could come around too. Never give up hope, but be prepared to watch them self destruct at times. I really wish you all the best! My mother drank (I suspect she still does) and we had some tough times, but my standing strong and not tolerating certain behaviour from her changed things over time. I am older than you so my say has more impact on my mother now.. and your day will come when your words will mean more to them than you could ever know.
2007-05-19 16:29:53 · answer #2 · answered by starshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, It's just that you never mentioned where your little sister comes in. If your parents have alcohol problems, then you should be at home making sure your sister is ok, and that she's not doing anything to get her mind off of your parent's situation. If there is any chance that your sister might NOT be okay, get her out of there and get help. (and I'm not trying to suggest that your parents are abusive, i'm just worried about the 10 year old here)
2007-05-19 18:55:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not here to lecture you, im not gonna write a long response either.
All I wanna say is go see a orgnization that deals with these issues. There are many people in the world who have this problem, your parents must be under a lot of stress and they dont see these things that u do, and they wont listen to you. U have to see counceling, talk to some1 at your school, a guidance counselor. U just have talk to some1 professional, dont keep these 2 yourself, it'll only get worse and eventually, u wont even bother to stop it, plz get counseling,
"dont be another statistic"
2007-05-19 16:36:26 · answer #4 · answered by DoctorE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... Well, you're not alone in the issue of parents. Being the oldest(assuming you are) is definately hard. I for one have issues with my parents but at least you feel like a family with your boyfriend and his family. A friend once told me being the eldest is like being a hamster with parents 1st experimenting on parenting. I suppose you tried talking to your parents. Don't think about it too much. At least you have freedom of doing your own things like working, going over to your boyfriend's or even to have a boyfriend.
It maybe stressful having to cancel things which you have plans but remember, you still sorta still live off your parents. So helping them in the house(although it feels like being used) is like paying them back for taking care of you.
Everytime I go home during my holidays(I'm studying overseas), instead of having a holiday resting, mum would insist I teach majority of her students(she's a musician) without pay, send my siblings to school or tuition, do typing for my dad and clean the house(even though we have a maid). So i end up being exhausted instead of resting. Tried to talk to my parents. Half the time I get into trouble but in a way they pay lots for my education and if I wanna use the car anytime i have to at least send my siblings around. It's hard I know but you just have to live up to it until you get your own place and am financially strong to support yourself fully.
Hope this helps. Good luck...
2007-05-19 16:26:25 · answer #5 · answered by mizzoflea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
almost everone in this world has this problem. and thats not kool that you like someother persons parents, so what, EVERYBODY feels unwanted. im a teen too, but you aint as bad as me. i have professional couseling, i cant go near sharp objects, i cant be without sight of an adult. to me, just do what your parents say, and just do it for your future and your little sister. all this trouble and "stress" will pay off. and, everyone gets blamed constently, whether its their fault or not. just be thankful that you wont end up like your parents, but better. all you should do, is put family first before your boyfriend but NOT, before your education.
2007-05-19 16:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by Cj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you should talk to your parents and tell them how you feel and how the things that they do are affecting you and your life. since your boyfriend's family is more like a family to you, perhaps you can confide your problem with them and they can give you some concrete advice.
2007-05-19 16:22:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to hear that. sometimes life does not give us what
we really want out of it. so that is when we make some
changes to it. i think it is sad that your b/f family is more
like a family to you. and as for your parents drinking
problem you should report it to some one, if you can no longer handle it.. you are a kid, i do not mean that in a bad
way, but you should be able to enjoy your child years..
i will pray for you and hope that there is a resolution for
your problem.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
2007-05-19 16:22:08 · answer #8 · answered by Rosemary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be a teen mom then go ahead and move in with your boyfriend! That's where that is headed.
2007-05-19 16:18:36 · answer #9 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
things dont change unless u take action
2007-05-19 16:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by Blax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋