My neighbor passed away, and I want to get a gift of some sort for her. i have known them since I was a kid, shes in her seventies. Any suggestions?
2007-05-19 15:24:30 · 13 answers · asked by luvnuttydog 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
IF you know of the particular things she finds joy in, such as a certain author or gardening, you can put together a small basket with items specific to what she likes. She may actually have a need for money to help out during this difficult time. Usually funerals cost more that people are prepared for. You might go by the local utilities and cover a bill for her. You could give her the gift of your time as well. During the funeral and in the days immediately following, there is usually a lot of people around, but then everyone has to get back to their own lives and the widow or widower is suddenly alone. It is often nice for them to have company and know that they are not forgotten. You could drop by and have tea with her, straighten up her kitchen or even play a board game or card game with her. Does she know how to knit, crochet or quilt? Ask her to teach you.
2007-05-19 15:43:47 · answer #1 · answered by jigsawinc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Food. A deli plate or fruit basket or home-made casseroles.
The elderly tend not to eat well anyway. As we age, we lose our sense of smell, and food stops tasting good. Now she is going to be grieving and less likely to want to spend the time caring for herself. When she does realize that she's hungry, she may put off eating rather than bother cooking.
Also, write her a letter expressing your condolences and include a few memories of her husband. If you've known them since you were a kid you probably remember something he said or taught you or did with you. Help her see that she is not alone in missing her husband.
Be available to listen. Humans tend to want to fix things. Don't tell her that things will be OK. She can't believe that now and will resent your saying it. Say things like "You were such a loving couple. This must be so hard."
And check up on her as time passes. In most places, 70 is very young to die. She probably has friends who are still married and who may no longer socialize with her. Make sure that she isn't abandonned. Offer to drive her to the store or library in a few weeks or months.
2007-05-19 15:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by TychaBrahe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a bit sad that some people view sex as something to be given or sold to their partners. Isn't that just glorified prostitution? Personally I wouldn't consider it an acceptable gift either from wife to husband or husband to wife, but then I enjoy sex and so do the men I have it with :-) It's different if it's mutual and you 'give it' to each other.
2016-05-21 21:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other than pictures or something personal and/or in memorandum, I'm not sure something that will physically last to remind them of this time is appropriate. I think that's why people bring food and offer all the support in the area of daily life, which is hard to maintain in times of grief. Being that you've known your friend for so long, do you have any memorabilia that you could share that would give her comfort?
2007-05-19 15:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give a condolence card with some cash say $50 to $100. I'm sure that is more useful than any gift.
2007-05-19 20:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm.. i don't know what would be a good gift in that case, i think maybe a plant something like that and a nice card. or maybe you could if you have the time, just drop by and sit and chat with her a bit. i know a lot of the older people don't always have a chance to talk to people very much, especially when there loved one passes. sorry i couldn't be of great help.
2007-05-19 16:35:21 · answer #6 · answered by pj 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
k ususally i think of gift baskest as celebratory....so i would never give anyone a gift. I woudl send a card with your condolences and let her know if there is anything at all she needs you are a phone call away....or offer to help her with soem chores...but a gift??? It's not a birthday party
2007-05-19 17:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my father-in-law passed away the very best gift we got was a big, big, big container of home made Turkey soup. We were so busy that if we haden't had that soup we wouldn't have had time to eat at all.
2007-05-19 15:31:28 · answer #8 · answered by tas211 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I make a big casserole that she can freeze if she did not want to eat it right away...and just offer to come over to take care of plant,animals,etc. A card and a plant is also a nice gesture.
2007-05-19 15:34:01 · answer #9 · answered by marisared2002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A hug and a gift basket
2007-05-19 15:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋