Is 19 too young to have a child?

Question

Yes I am 19 lol but my fiance is 29 and has a 3 year old child with his ex wife, so I figure everything will be ok, just as I said in another one of my questions, I'm pretty damn nervous and scared because I HATE pain. let me know your input...just curious

Well, I already am pregnant lolz, 7 months actually, So i'm getting close to the end, and the 3yr old that he has with his ex wife, his ex doesnt want me in her life, so I wont be, but yes, we aren't married yet, but we will be very soon, just havent planed that yet because the pregnancy part is already a lot of planning. Thanks to everyone so far for your input and honesty :-D

Answer 1

People on here seem to think you should be 30 to have babies. I am 21 and I have a 3 month old. My bf is 32 and has a 12 year old son from a previous marriage and 2 stepdaughters ages 15 and 7. People seem to think you have to be married also. I plan to marry my bf but I want a real wedding and untill I can fit back in the dress that I bought before we found out we were pregnant I am not marrying him. I will not settle for a quicky marriage at the courthouse just because I got pregnant. I think Im at a decent age for a baby. I wish I would have waited a tad longer cause I only have 1 semester of college left. I had to take the last semester off to give birth and take care of her. Im finishing up next fall. I think 19 is young but its not about age. Its about responsibility. You have to be a mom before anything else. Its hard. I dont drink so that is not a problem for me. But I cannot hardly go to the bathroom without my daughter. My house is a never ending mess. Baby stuff ends up everywhere. I clean while she naps and I get my time alone at night when she is asleep but I pay for it the next day when she wakes me up bright and early. No matter the changes It dosent compare to when I go to get her and bend over her crib the smile she gives me. i love her to death. Its unbelievable how you feel when you give birth. I was in labor for 18 1/2 hrs. 3 hrs were pushing and the moment she came and they layed her on my tummy and she cried I started bawling and didnt stop for a while. Its magical the feeling you get when you see the child you carried at that time. I was scared of labor also but when I think back on it. It wasnt that bad and you will forget it. If you cannot stand pain I would reccomend an epidural. I tried natural labor but after 13 hrs of it I was exausted and I recieved an epidural and It was great. i didnt feel a thing even with the pushing I just felt a lot of pressure. Dont worry everything will go great.

To the others-
I was 18 when I met my bf and he was 29
I am now 21 and he is 32 thats 11 years difference and we are still togeather.
I am a soon to be step mother of 3 wonderful kids and I love them very much and they are close to me also.
My daughter is the most inportant person in my life and I dont believe in judging people. She's already pregnant. She dosent need people pretty much telling her she is going to ruin this childs life because she is young. So what. She may be an exceptional mother. My mom had me at 15 and she did a great job. She ended up marrying the man and my parents have a total of 5 kids togeather and theres a 10 year age difference between them and they are happy.

Answer 2

I don't think 19 is too young to have a child, but it depends on the person. I had my first child (and only so far) when I was 19 and my husband was 21. However, I know plenty of 22 year olds now that shouldn't have kids. You must be willing to give up or never live the "party" and "college" lifestyle that a lot of people our ages are living. Live your life for your husband and child and everything will be fine. Being a mother is the most selfless job on the planet, but completely worth it. You will understand when you finally hold your baby in your arms!

About the pain, don't let EVERYONE scare you. I didn't even know I was in labor...no pain or anything and I dialated to 4 cm's and it was time for my epidural. Not saying you'll have the same experience, but it does happen. Some women have very easy/short deliveries and some don't. I am still planning on having more children even after my rough pregnancy and 17 hour labor so I'm sure you will too. You will do great! Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

There is no "good" age to have a child (within limits of course... a 14 year old is WAY too young). Having children is more about your emotional and mental state rather than your physical age.

As a mother, I know firsthand how your time will be devoted to raising this child. Hobbies, parties, me time, all of that will be severely curtailed. Your first responsibility is to the child. Everything you want to do in your life will be more difficult, including going to college/getting an education, working fulltime, etc.

You need to make sure you definitely want this child AT THIS POINT IN TIME. There is no turning back. You can't return the child as you would a bad pair of shoes.

As for your age, just because you are 19 doesn't mean you are too young. It is true that it will be more difficult for you IF the father of the child ever left you. This is because you will most likely be raising the child yourself and not have sufficient time in the work force to earn a high salary to pay for this child. That is one consideration. Be sure you have good familial support. You do not want to be dependent on a man so you need to do what is necessary to be able to live alone. This is not to say he won't do the right thing. You just don't want to be stuck if he doesn't.

As for the pain, you won't even care about it after you see your child. Yes, it's scary. But you will be surprised how you get through it. Try to concentrate on the good stuff.

Congrats on your pregnancy.

Answer 4

If you are talking in the sense of maturity as a 20 year old I am more mature than some of the 30 year olds out there that I know who still act like they are 13. So I'm sorry but if you talking in such a sense I have to disagree. At 20 I have already accomplished more then some aged 40 and I already have some of the skills that those who are in the late 20s do not have. I personally believe that becoming an adult is a personal thing it can happen for many different people at many different times. I don't quite understand why it bothers you though...

Answer 5

O.k. I got preg at 18 had him at 19 and got married at 19, 7 months after I had the baby. It was a VERY tough road to go down, especially with a 20 year old man. We both needed more time to grow up and mature. There were a lot of times I wished I had made smarter choices, I also sometimes wonder what it would have been like to go off to college. I definately think you need to work on going to college and getting a degree first. Then think about starting a family once you have had more time to mature, get some real life experience and get your finances stable. Now my husband and I have been married for 7 years and we now have 3 children. My husband got lucky getting into a good line of business so we have our finances stable and we both have had more time to mature. I wouldn't change anything that happened, but we had to travel a very long bumpy road. I would try to avoid that bumpy road if I were you and focus on college and getting a degree. Also, the pain of child birth is not so bad as long as you get that epideral as early as possible!!

Answer 6

It doesn't so much have to do with age but with mentality. In general, I would say 19 is too young. I wasn't even thinking about getting married at that age. But I had a few friends who took a different life path than I did but had their heads on straight and DID get married right out of high school and had kids shortly after.

If you're ready to get married and settle down and give up the teenage lifestyle, then you can talk about it. You have PLENTY of time and your fiance is only 29. Don't rush into it. Even if you were 30, I would give the same advice. Get married and enjoy the time you have with him BEFORE you have kids. It's not that you won't have a life after kids but you'll definitely have a different life.

Answer 7

I was 21 when I had my first child. I didn't feel too young at the time, however I now realized how much I missed out on (I am 28). As dumb as it may sound, wisdom comes with age. I now have a second child who is 5 weeks old. I am more mature and able to handle the trials that come with having a child. I am also more financially stable and emotionally. It is hard to understand how much work a baby is until you have a little life in your hands that depends on you for everything. Having a child means work night and day...with very little thanks. At any age you have to be ready to sacrifice your life at all times for the child. The pain that comes with childbirth is no match for the exhaustion you will feel taking care of a baby. Take some time and live your life before having a child...you will be much happier if you wait until YOU know you are ready to take on parenting!

Answer 8

You already know the answer to this question.

At 19, yes, you're perfectly capable of having a child. But mentally, probably not.

I'm 22 now and couldn't even fathom having a child, let alone at 19. At 19, I was in college, getting my foot in the door of the career I want, and met the love of my life (whom I'm still with) Having a child, for me, would have completely thrown my life off path. I wouldn't be where I am today - and I really like where I am.

19, 29, even 39 - having a child is a scary, life-long commitment. No mother knows what to expect before she delivers her first child and nothing can prepare you for it.

Answer 9

I'm 22 and got pregnant at 19, I love my daughter more than anything in this world, If your mature and it sounds like your in a good relationship and your both somewhat financially ready (nobody is ever 100% financially ready), than why not have one now so you can have the energy to enjoy them and be young enough for when they decide to be in a relationship and have children of there own that you can enjoy. As far as pain goes, that was one of my BIGGEST fears was the labor and delivery b/c I HAD a very low tolerance for pain, but I just focused on anything funny not sure if your a Will Ferrell fan, but I pretty much kept on thinking about my favorite SNL skits of his and if your a competitor try to focus on not screaming or taking medication, that's all I did and got through my whole labor and delivery naturally...remember it only takes a little while than it's over and you have a beautiful baby after...Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

It depends on how mature you are. Everyone's different. Years ago, 19 was a normal age to have a child. Today, it's more like 30. If you're in a good relationship and can support a family and feel ready, then go for it. Just remember though that you still may want to do a bit more living before you have a child. Most 19 year olds want to go out to clubs and party a bit but you may be different. Whatever your decision, good luck!