What is up with men?!!!?

Question

my husband complains that i am not spontaneous anymore and that i never fix up for him. well guess what. I tried to do that just today... I went shopping for several hours just trying to find the right things to look pretty(FOR HIM) and I come home and try to show him what i got, and guess what he says...nothing, just please get out of the way of the t.v.!!!! I am so angry right now. people say that sometrimes relationships dont work out because people dont give it thier all, well Im giving more than i can afford!!! can anybody relate to what im saying?

Answer 1

Like they say... "timing is everything." To start with, figure that most guys are kind of like smart (okay, semi-smart) dogs... we want to eat, sleep, play, and have sex. We work because someone makes us. So basically, assume your guy has 5 settings in his brain; eat, sleep, play, work, and sex. Now it has been said that sex is the "default" setting for guys, but anyone who really thinks that hasn't seen what most guys can do to a well-stocked fridge when they're hungry. My hunch is that you caught your guy in between play and sleep modes. If a guy is vegging out in front of a TV and there's no game or action movie on, then he's probably fading into la-la land. And catch him before he's eaten himself into a stupor for the winter.

Really, if you figure your hubby basically thinks like Rover, you will find that it is pointless to be so angry with him. He's probably doing the best he can. Next time this happens, just visualize taking a rolled up newspaper tohim and telling him, "Bad boy! No biscuit!" Just imagine it and laugh. Don't actually do it. It will only confuse him more.

I guarantee you, that IF he's aware you are angry right now, he will be clueless as to the reason. So basically, here are your choices; 1) cross the street and take up with another lady, 2) get rid of the lunk and find a new one to break in, 3) become a nun, 4) stay PO'd at him all the time, or 5) get a book on _The Care and Feeding of Your Dog, uh...Husband_. In other words, understand his limitations and work around them. He'll be happy, you'll be happy, everybody wins!

Answer 2

First of all I will start by saying you go girl for making the effort..and yes I can relate oh can I ever..my boyfriend is the same way he say u never dress up like u use too or how come you do not wear this anymore? My answer to him is upfront and honest you just dont care anymore. You'd rather spend time with your friends or watch T.V .... So if i ever hear that question again....but really just wait until hes relaxed not watching tv before u go to bed is a good example just getting ready just ask him why are u like this ? It does kinda put him on the spot but it will make him think..hope fully that helps..Good luck and im sure your looked great! :)

Answer 3

Maybe you should try spontaneity in a different form- he probably does not hold any value to the clothing, sexy undies, and whatever else you just bought. Think about what he likes already...what bands he likes, his favorite food, his favorite thing to do with the guys...I would suggest being spontaneous could be a pair of concert tickets, a loosely planned gathering of friends at a local pub, a new accessory for his car...whenever you make a plan to go out, to that concert or bar or where ever, THAT is when you dress to kill. Makes his friends wish they had it as good as he does. A fashion show at home will do nothing, unless he is well fed and happy to start with.

Answer 4

So let me get this right, you actually think your husband is representative of the entire male race? Sorry if you picked the wrong man and now want to blame him for your mistake. However there are plenty of men out there that are not like him. They only want to find a good woman, well I guess we can mark one more off of that list...

Answer 5

i'm a guy but I relate because i'm am in the same situation. My girlfriend takes advantage of me and takes me for granted. I do thinks to make her happy and sacrifice my own left and thoughts and beliefs in order to make her happy. She in turn doesn't do anything for me. I treat her with respect and love and show her that i love her, i don't have to tell she knows. She would rather miss her ex that cheated on her and treated her like crap. It's sucks when you trully love someone it's hard to walk away. What do we do? Well I think people like you and I need to remember that there was a reason that we fell in love in first place and focus on that. It can get back to they it used to, our partners need to understand how they make us feel. And if they do understand but no longer care. Then it's time to do the hard thing and walk away.

Answer 6

You just came home and showed him a bunch of stuff. What did you expect? You have to put it on and entice him...that's what "being spontaneous" means, dear....Duh!!!

He's your husband, you should learn to read him and know when's the best and not time to turn him on. If you don't take his personality into consideration, it's like you don't even know who he is.

If you don't learn how to turn your man on, someone else might do it for you.

Answer 7

Hey Lady, Dont fix up for him. Fix up for you. You decide to go out with your friends, or family memeber just for a "bonding " dinner....without him , and fix up yourself. Then next time you go shopping , again without him, fix up...get the picture...? He will definatley start paying attetion.

Answer 8

...Yes, I can.

Unfortunately I have run into the same situation, my girlfriend told me, just a few days ago, that I'm not quite as "fun" as I used to be..

SO!

I took her out to breakfast and in the middle of everything I just stood up and started yelling, "I NEED A BATHROOM!!!!!" then proceeded to the nearest restroom and grabbed a ba rof soap and brought it out and calmly placed in on the table. Looked right at her and said, "...I love you."

We both cracked up and now whenever I tell her I love her she just smiles [more than usual]

Answer 9

well im not married yet but it seems like hes looking for excuses.. excuses for what? but i mean u know guys they hardly notice effort when u make one and when they want u to look nice your all tired and messy from work or whatever.. so all i can say is talk to him about it and mention that u tried to look nice and he ignored it. good luck!

Answer 10

i saw on this guy's T-shirt one time, it said how to make a guy happy: show up naked with food and don't block the t.v.! it actually works!