My gal and I broke up over a month ago. Since I moved back home, she's called me several times to talk - about school, our families, etc. At first I was having a hard time with the breakup, but realized we ended it for a reason and accepted the fact that, if I wanted her in my life, it would have to be as friends. A few days ago, she calls me to tell me she's at the E.R. (she's had some health issues) - I went into my sympathy mode and told her if she needs anything let me know - I said i'd even fly out there. She said she'd call me back later that day to let me know how she was, but didn't call until two days later to tell me she was admitted and now may need surgery. Again, I told her i'd fly out there - first she said if it makes me feel better then flyout, but later changed her mind and said not to flyout to see her - she said it'd be uncomforatble. I'm confused, our relationship obviously didn't work, now she's rejecting my friendship. I think I've had it -what should i do?
2007-05-19 13:09:24 · 15 answers · asked by Trust Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She sounds like she's counting on the fact she can sucker you into doing what she wants. That is very manipulative of her, and very sad for you that you are buying into it.
Your best move is to NOT argue, NOT explain why, and simply move on in your life. Do the things that will improve you for a few months, DONT share them with her, and chances are you will be happier for it.
These situations do not improve and there is no likely way to get back to where you were, tempting as it looks to want to go there.
You dont have to make her understanding why you are distancing yourself from her.......But distance yourself from her. She seems like she can count on you do still kiss her ***, while she treats you like a butler. Don't let her, but don't fault her for trying.... She only succeeds if you cater to her wishes...... Live your life, and you WILL attract someone who VALUES YOU!
2007-05-19 13:17:42 · answer #1 · answered by jasonross1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you had a pretty amicable breakup, which can make the line between dating and friendship fuzzy at first. If you feel like you can be friends and you want to do that right now, then you should have a long talk with her and set boundaries and guidelines that you are both clear and comfortable with. If it's just too much drama, you could explain to her that you need some time and distance to regroup. Then in a couple months, or a year, or never, you could always take a stab at being friends again. (But if you're looking for more, don't be surprised if she's moved on romantically by then!) Good luck with whatever you decide.
2007-05-19 13:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jane D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go, she is playing games, Even so she has health issues, but can you be sure she is in the hospital? or had surgery. Something sounds very fishing about this. Why is she calling you, when she knows the breakup is fresh. Seems to me, she doesnt want the break up, or she just wants to keep you holding on. While she does whatever. You need to cut ties, because this smells like game to me,maybe she was first, seeking your sympathy, but when you offered to fly out, there she panic, because she knew, she was not in the hospital. She wants to hold you in her life, while making you think it's a breakup. I would be confused also, if I havent seen this type of game before. Open you eyes, and cut her loose, and get on with your life. Get someone who is willing to work with you. Someone, who knows what they want from an relationship. I wish you the best..
2007-05-19 13:18:43 · answer #3 · answered by ladymaryum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a situation kind of like this years ago. What we did was decide we wouldn't communicate In ANY way for three months. Then we called each other and met for lunch. After the three months were over, we were both "over" each other and are friends until this day.
2007-05-19 13:15:32 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take inconsideration how it's going to feel when you see one another. I think that's what she's thinking. And w/you willing to fly out to be w/her, then she realized what a great thing she let go of. Also if you do go and see one another it may bring up some undelt feelings, or just old feelings. I dont think she's rejecting your friendship
2007-05-19 13:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she jus doesnt wanna catch herself falling for you again.
you being there will show her that you can be much more than a friend again. you being there will show her how good of a man you are.
If she was reely ur ex, u wud never have spoken to her again and she wouldnt exist to you now.
But since you BOTH have kept eachother within eachother's reach... you guys will always be connected.
So now that you've gotten her used to being there for her, got to her. But to be safe... bring a girlfriend so she duznt get any ideas ^_^
2007-05-19 13:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by Jonas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may think if you come then she will get back together with you. the 1 reason she does not want to go through with again.
2007-05-19 13:16:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer your sympathies but keep your distance.
Although you would like to stay friends, many times that just doesn't work out for one reason or another.
since you have no children together there is no real reason to "be there" for her.
2007-05-19 13:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. My son has almost the identical situation going on, and I wish he would. You are wasting valuable time. Life is toooo short.
2007-05-19 13:14:16 · answer #9 · answered by BERT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think its over and she does'nt want to give you false hope by getting you to fly out to see her. Obviously you feel more for her than she feels for you.
2007-05-19 13:13:41 · answer #10 · answered by jeannie f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋