2007-05-19 13:04:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
type error 10 points
2007-05-19 13:05:44 · update #1
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lays awake at night, wondering if there really is a dog.
2007-05-19 13:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by Resident Heretic 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
One heard in Catholic school:
The Pope lands in NY and is being driven in a stretch limo to his hotel. He asks the driver to pull over and gives him a special request. "I've always wanted to drive a car, do you mind if I drive?" The driver is surprised, but agrees to switch, and the Pope, dressed in full papal regalia climbs into the driver seat, with the driver in the back.
The Pope takes off. Never having driven before, he runs three red lights until a NY cop pulls him over. One cop gets out and approaches the driver side, while his partner is calling in the plates ... but before he gets response from headquarters the other cop returns to the squad car somewhat shaken, saying he let them go. "Why did you do that?" asks the partner, "Who was it?"
"I don't know," says the other cop, "But the Pope was his driver!"
2007-05-19 20:23:33 · answer #2 · answered by secretsauce 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A priest, a rabbi and a dog walk into a bar. The Bartender says "what is this, a joke?"
2007-05-19 20:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by LabGrrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So two priests go on a mission to Africa to take care of orphans. They decide to take some of them back to America to try to adopt them out to American families.
They are on the plane with the orphans, when the pilot calls the two priests into the cabin. He looks concerned.
"Listen, guys, we're in big trouble here. Our engine is failing and I think we may go down soon. And we only have 3 parachutes!"
The first priest looks shocked, and says "My god, what about the orphans??"
Says the second priest "Ahh, **** 'em."
The first priest looks at the second priest. "Think we have time?"
2007-05-19 20:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by esobel6 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
tarzan and jane are sleeping together for the first time, and jane looks under his loincloth and asks'
Tarzan, what's that?
that's bluebird of happiness
Tarzan, what are those round things underneath it?
those eggs
Tarzan, what's all that fuzzy stuff around it?
that nest
the next morning, Tarzan wakes up in a world of pain and screams "Woman What you do?!?!?!"
Jayne replies," I went to kiss the bluebird of happiness, and he spit at me, so I broke his neck, crushed his eggs and burned his nest"
2007-05-19 20:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hitler is in his bunker as the Russian tanks rumble overhead, rolling into Berlin.
He looks at the portrait of himself on the wall, and says "well, old friend, now what?"
The portrait says to Hitler, " Simple. They take me down and they hang you up."
2007-05-19 20:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by emagidson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might be a redneck if you think the 6-10 pounds on the side of a pampers box means how much the diaper will hold.
2007-05-19 20:08:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why, when a man has sex with a sheep, he does it at the edge of a cliff? It's so the sheep will push back.
2007-05-19 20:13:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A fish.
2007-05-19 20:42:25 · answer #9 · answered by Doc Occam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper that sold his soul to santa?
2007-05-19 21:06:05 · answer #10 · answered by dakina1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋