I am helping do wedding invitations. How does she let her guests know that she would rather have a wishing well instead of gifts. Should I place that info on the actual invitation after the line advising them of the reception immediately following? (Everything is going to be done in the same hall just in different rooms) She doesn't have separate cards with the reception information.
2007-05-19 12:09:34 · 12 answers · asked by Mahtwo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What? The bride wants money instead of five crystal vases, three crock pots, two coffee makers, four popcorn poppers, a set of bright orange and purple towels, a 7'X5' turquoise macrame hanging, and grandma's zigzag afghan? 'Hard to imagine. ;)
Understandable as that is, it's considered incredibly tacky to tell your wedding guests that you want ANYTHING, let alone that you'd prefer a "wishing well" instead of gifts. The wedding invitation is to inform guests that the bride, groom and their parents will be honored to have their presence (not presents) to share in the joy of their marriage. Period.
The only way to "get the word out," if you will, is by word of mouth, and only by close family or friends who happen to be asked if there's anything the bride and groom would especially like. Yes, of course you can expect that guests will bring gifts, but suggesting that they bring cash to a wedding will result in quite a few disapproving thoughts . . . and ultimately significantly less monetary value gifts.
The only exception to this guideline is if you are throwing a shower for the bride, and as the shower-giver, you could suggest that the "theme" of the shower is a wishing well or a money tree.
Other than that, any mention of this wish from the bride or groom would be socially taboo.
2007-05-19 12:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I suppose that instead of a picture of yourselves or hearts or flowers or whatever you were thinking of putting on the invite you could replace it with a beggars bowl... It is never appropriate to mention gifts AT ALL on the wedding invitation. As others have already mentioned word of mouth in regards to your preference for cash is really the only way to spread the news... and yes for some people it WILL be a relief to not have to go shopping.. but personally I don't want to contribute to someone's beer and pizza parties and would rather make the effort to give something that will be around for a while!
2016-03-19 08:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will continue writing this until we get it out to every bride out there. It is tacky, rude, crass, distasteful and vulgar to mention money on your wedding invite. They are your guests and do not HAVE to get you anything. Yes they can show up and wish you well--without purchasing a single thing! You do not charge a cover, nor even explain with great big smiles that it cost you $55 a plate for their meal and as such feel you deserve $110 in gifts or money for feeding them. A wedding is actually a party--not a for profit organization.
The invitations actually do not even contain where you are registered. WHEN someone throws you a shower--whoever hosts that even can feel free to include where you are registered. Your mother, bridal party and future inlaws can tell everyone they see fit. But it is never appropriate for the bride to solicit gifts.
As far as cute poems for a wishing well--that is more outrageously disgusting than anything. You cannot charge. The definition of gift is something they see fit to give you, out of their generousity. Brides today continue to amaze me...they can acknowledge that it would be a horrible breach of etiquette to put "The honour of your presence is requested. Please enclose $50 per person with your RSVP", but actually think that saying "please don't bother to think about us and take the time to pick out a gift--instead we'd rather you pay cold hard cash" is nice, tasteful and appropriate. Don't allow her to be so disillusioned.
Please tell your friend not to offend as many people as possible by putting this on her invite. In the older generation, that would be a good way to get ostracized from the family.
2007-05-19 13:42:52 · answer #3 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are NEVER supposed to mention gifts at all on a wedding invitation.
Instead, have her let her family, bridal party, and closest friends know of her wishes. They can spread the word and if anyone is wondering about gifts, those are the people they would ask.
2007-05-19 12:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by Vita 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well im going to several weddings this summer and all are having wishing well receptions, and if i remember correctly, it was on the separate invite announcing the reception. it was in the wording "wishing well reception" I haven never seen it done a different way actually. That way they aren't really saying no gifts just a preference i think
2007-05-19 13:35:04 · answer #5 · answered by uthinkso 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married last summer and I wanted the same thing. I tried to have the word spread but it was pretty impossible to get to everyone.
The fact that I didn't register for gifts anywhere seemed to do the trick. Alot of relatives kept asking where we were registered and got the hint when they were told "nowhere".
We only got one gift that was not money. That person gave us a gift AND money.
2007-05-20 06:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by Dee77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you need to do is make a note on the invitaition that a
wishing well will be provided for those who wish to give a
gift instead of a actual gift.
2007-05-19 16:45:40 · answer #7 · answered by Rosemary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings
My daughter and my wonderful son-in-law had a GREAT idea and the best wedding I have ever seen.
They decided the wedding preparation was to be shared.
- I got to organise and pay for flowers
- his Mum did the cake
- my daughter chose and paid the dress
- a friend did vehicles etc
My son-in law organized but did NOT pay for the reception
He also did and paid for the honey-moon
(at home with cleaners, flowers, gourmet food delivered daily so they could just relax)
Then they sent an invitation to their friends.
It said something to the effect.
They wanted NO presents (you only get lots of toasters)
Their friends PRESENT to the couple was paying for their food.
My son-in-law organized a nice restaurant. Booked the whole place. The restaurant made 4 menus -
one chicken; a vegetarian, an Italian one & one seafood.
All same price.
Friends then came chose as in any restaurant and PAID for themselves.
ADVANTAGES
- Cost was spread around
- Friends did not have to eat what bride decided
-friends paid not for gift but for some-thing for them-selves.
-A good time was had by all
Those who could not attend did send presents
So do NOT IMPOSE YOUR wishes on your guests.
Let them choose for them-selves
Please your family by paying NOTHING; NO DOLLARS; ZERO for the reception
2007-05-19 14:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by teacher groovyGRANNY 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't. You don't include any such information on or with the invitation. Gifts should not be "expected", but graciously received, whatever the guests choose to give.
2007-05-20 01:41:36 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be crass to put that information on the invitation it's self....
Make it word of mouth.... and what ever gifts she receives could just return...
2007-05-19 13:18:02 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋