Guys, you tell me. What's wrong with him?

Question

My bf and I have been 2gether for 3yrs. We live 2gether. We're both in our 30's and should have a healthy active sex life. We very rarely get it on, unless I initiate it. I'm an attractive and experienced woman whose never had any complaints. We haven't had relations in so long, I couldn't even say what month was the last time. I don't think he's gay b/c he has a porn collection, of which I never "catch" him watching. I've even asked to watch them with him, just to see if that would get him stimulated enough to START the festivities. No. I have to keep sayin "come on, lets watch a hot movie" b4 he'll even pop one in. I've seen his porn footprints in the computer, and those were women. I don't think he's addicted to porn, he's not glued to it all the time. He does, however have a foot fettish. He nibbles and sucks on my toes and wacks off when he "thinks" I'm asleep. He's circled the bed like a vulture checking 2c if I'm awake b4 he starts. He'd rathr do that than hav sex with me awake!

What am I supposed to think? This is the weirdest relationship I've ever been in. I'm truely stumped by him. I need an answer to this, a real answer. I don't understand that, seemingly, the only attraction he has to me is my feet! I can't fathom that my toes are the only part of ME gettin' any action! I NEED SOMEBODY TO TELL ME WHAT GIVES?

He knows that i know he likes the feet. but i don't think he's aware that I am aware of his late nite snacking.

Answer 1

I can think of a few answers:

1.If he is supporting you, financially and emotionally, he may now view you as a child (subconsciously), and he doesn't want to have sex with a child.

2. He may feel a lot of pressure to "get you off" and knows it will take a lot more effort than he's willing to give. He may find it's easier to simply get himself off. Try telling him that he can be selfish once and a while. Or ask him if you can just "borrow" his body. This will take the pressure off.

3. He's completely embarrassed with his foot fetish. If you're comfortable with it, use it to your advantage to get the ball rolling.

Answer 2

WOW........Well, maybe since you know what his fetish is (even tho he's not too open with it, since he performs his ritual while you are sleeping) Maybe you could work with that if you are comfortable with it.......Set up a night and do some fantasy play......Don't let him say no.....be a little agressive, be the boss and throw some of what you know he likes in the mix.........maybe he is uncomfortable with his fetish, maybe he is scared to lose you over it and doesn't know how you will react to it all. If you try what I mentioned above, maybe you can break the ice with him over the issue and without words (you know some men just can't talk about things) he will see that you love him just like he is and that you can deal with this fetish of his...........then hopefully, your sex life will improve and he can get more of what he desires and you can get what you desire too.
Good Luck.....

Answer 3

Let's look at it another way: If he waited for you to be asleep before having sex with you, what would you do? I know what my answer would be. I think you need to give him an opportunity to admit to his fetish and his late night habits. If he gets hostile or denies it, you should smash him in the face with a trowel and move on.

Answer 4

So your man has a foot fetish. Embrace it, the next time your watching TV together, start playing his skin flute with your bare feet, If that doesn't get him going, I don't know what to tell ya. Maybe he just like to be by himself better.

Answer 5

i stopped reading this after the 2nd line. the answer is u need 2 save sex 4 marriage. every 1 needs 2

Answer 6

if you like this guy you need to bring this up and discuss it tell him how you feel, I am not a highly sexed male and have been dumped for this reason she later found out that im not highly sexed and wanted to get back with me too late im afraid. talk about it while you can i say. also we all have our little tweaks his is feet it could be worse

Answer 7

I know this isn't funny for you ... but it is funny to read. Wish I had an answer for you. Unless everything else is too good to leave, you may want to move out, move up.

Answer 8

thats weird. first of all. maybe he wants to get marrie,d but all the time you just wanna. yeah.
So jsut talk and firgure stuff out together. stop trying to have. with him and he whats going on

Answer 9

tell him to get some counseling, or else, i would dump him! can u imagine being married to him 20 yrs from now and STILL not hardly gettin any? come on! u deserve better than that! good luck.

Answer 10

Here's your 'duh' for the day: Sit down. Say, "Hey, let's figure out what I like sexually, and what you like sexually, and let's meet in the middle so I can feel good about our relationship, okay?"

If you aren't pushy, you can have a long, honest conversation that may be enlightening. It may lead to a better understanding between you.

Or, you can keep wondering.