My intimate friend and I have been hanging around closely since 4 months up till now, ever since this time we share common subjects and humor and share each others happy and bad moments. He knows that I had a bad experience before and told me "Please, don't let your past pain destroys your present happiness, you are complete girl in my eyes, a girl any man would like to spend the rest of his life with." I honestly like him and his advice then he goes telling me "Allow me the chance to rebuild in you the confidence about men, is it possible that it can be you and me in the future?" Is he trying to cheer me up and advice me or is really having some feelings for me? I like him and I guess he likes me when he says "I like you much and you are special to me". So can be that trustworthy person especially when he says "Take enough time and am willing to wait whatever it takes and for many years". Though I like him am afraid to ruin our close friendship if we failed as lovers? any advice?
2007-05-19 08:43:59 · 21 answers · asked by Sara007 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think it to answer this question you need to ask yourself one.
How do you feel about him? Do you think he would be a good boyfriend or husband? If the answer is yes, then I do think there is a good chance that he is serious about you from the things hes said. He sounds as if he truely cares for you, not just trying to get you in bed. He has patience to wait for you to be ready, you find it easy to talk to him, you like his jokes, and he feels the same. Are you ready to try again? He says if you arent, he'll wait. He is very aware of the pain you feel from past hurts and is willing to work through it with you. This is a man not asking for immediate trust but willing to BUILD your trust in him--and that is very special, in any kind of friend. I understand that you are afraid of losing your best friend if a relationship doesnt work out, and thats a valid concern, but if you decide to try and it doesnt work out, its up to you both to walk away from it with good manners to keep the friendship alive. This can be done, if you discuss your fears of losing his friendship and agree that if your relationship doesnt work out, you will remain friends. After all of the things this man has said, it seems to me he values your friendship as much as you do, dont be afraid to take a chance. Love is always a risk, but if you dont take it, you dont get the best experiences out of life. Its ok to fail, to get hurt, and it happens to us all. Its not ok to never try again, because then you are not living--you are hiding. This guy will wait till you feel its right--and that in itself is a gift.
2007-05-19 08:58:38 · answer #1 · answered by tonna11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fail? As Lovers? Not until you pull the plug. Forget all the "perfect" nonsense. To be lovers, you have to struggle together, WORK things out.
You will find things that you like, and things that you DO NOT like, and if he was Brad Pitt, it would be the same.
I very much feel, from what you said, that he is really trying to connect with you, in a way that few men try or even have the concept of.
I am 57, and I missed a real good chance at your age by being proud and stupid. I was a close as you can get, and fumbled.
Don't you do that! If you make a mistake, do it with your whole heart, and you know what, this won't be a mistake! But if he is trying that hard, and you hang back, the crystal vase is gonna fall on the floor and shatter, and you will see and hear it, and never forget it.
Grab him and growl, and love the s**t out of him until neither of you can walk, and you won't have regretful memories in a lonely old age.
Now if you can't hear that, I can't help you, but if you do, don't waste time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-19 08:57:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are doing id asking a rhetorical question, because hone. the answer is right in front of you. I think you know the answer, but because you are hurt, then you choose to ignore it. You like him. You're practically on the verge of loving him. Why? You remember everything he says. You guys are so close, it seems like you guys are already in a relationship. Don't worry about if your friendship will be destroyed. I always tell my friends, when you like someone build a friendship first so that it things don't work out, you have something else to fall back on. You guys already have a friendship. A strong one and there's nothing that can dis troy it so I give you the go ahead. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll stay friends. You really need someone to rebuild your confidence in guys and I think he's the one. What better, that is, that your own best friend that happens to have feelings for you. He has feelings for you, you have feelings for him, so why torture yourselves? Why delay the inevitable. Go for it before someone snatches him away. He is a good guy and I know girls are sharpening their claws to get him. Do your thin. Trust in him and you wont regret it. Good luck.
2007-05-19 08:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by Girl-In-Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! he sounds like an awsome guy! I Think he's for real, but i dont know him personally so i couldnt tell you for sure. I think that you should see how things go for now as friends. If you really start to like him then maybe you guys should start dating as more than just friends. But do be careful, i've been hurt a lot this year by a guy who said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. So dont let him take your full heart until you really truely know him.
2007-05-19 08:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by nobody is home 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are "intimate friends" then give it a chance.
He may be just trying to build your trust to get in your pants but it seems like alot of time/effort so I would give him the benefit of the doubt.
He sounds sincere and caring. If you trust him emotionally, then why would you not trust him physically?
Is your only fear ruining your friendship?
If you are mature enough to be lovers, you should be mature enough to maintain your friendship if things don't work out.
2007-05-19 08:49:50 · answer #5 · answered by Matt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always tell people, "Let yourself be happy". That is truly one of the hardest things to do, especially if you've been hurt in the past. There is nothing like finding the love of your life, believe me. I'd say give him a chance. If it goes bad, you'll always bounce back. There's always pain involved with love, even when you do find Mr. Right. :) Do what your heart tells you! That tends to lead me right :D Good luck
2007-05-19 08:48:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just enjoy what you guys have and feel blessed that you seem to have met Mr. Right, but.... nothing can be guaranteed when it comes to a relationship between a man and a woman.... think like a man- enjoy it as it lasts. Just know that projecting your negative past experience on him will destroy this relationship faster.
2007-05-19 08:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all a craps game. Take a chance or sit back and sit this one out, but my gut tells me it is at least worth trying. You do run the risk of ruining your friendship, so you have to decide which one more important to you. I bet that he is looking at this "friendship" a little differently than you. Go slowly if you decide to take this chance, but don't give your heart to him unless your head says yes (i.e. don't sleep with him right out the gate)!
2007-05-19 08:48:59 · answer #8 · answered by wildatheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart and take the chance this could be the right one for you. I don't think he would intentionally hurt you but you will sooner or later need to trust again. No love has a guarantee on it , not with him or anyone else but you will never know unless you take that chance.
2007-05-19 08:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!He sounds very true.I took achance with my very good friend,and i'll be happy to tell you we are married and have three kids.It could be the best thing that ever happens to you.You should take a chance,you never know.
2007-05-19 08:49:18 · answer #10 · answered by dubbz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋