About a month or two ago, they both moved in to my 2 bedroom apartment making a total of five people living here. Things were going okay at first because they provided transportation for me about three times a week because I can't drive.
However, I had never had trouble with paying my bills and providing food for the household,but now I find myself behind bills and scraping up the last of my change to provide my baby with milk. They havn't paid a dime since they have got here(they both have jobs),haven't tried to get foodstamps(which they both had before coming here),eat here every night(me and my daughter cook for them),don't do ANY chores and avoid the house as much as they can when either of them gets paid,except to come here and change clothes before going out and coming back at all hours of the night.They now have attitudes as if I'M the moocher sneaking when they have takeout and acting like I'm bothering them when i ask for a ride.I'm feeling like an intruder in my own home.
2007-05-19 08:33:41 · 19 answers · asked by Exsasperated 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Also, I find myself feeling extremely exausted due to the fact that I havn't gotten a full night of sleep since they got here because they make noise and wake me up when they get back at 3:00 in the morning. I don't want to do anything to give my house a hostile feeling to it because I know they have nowhere else to go but my patience is QUICKLY running out!
2007-05-19 08:41:38 · update #1
Easy answer. Kick them out. If you have to, wait til they leave and change the locks. They are able bodied adults and dont need to be mooching off of you.
2007-05-19 08:41:29 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, you know the easy answer is kick their butts out.
The harder one and smarter one would be to get paid first for all the time and money they've cost you so far.
Draw up a bill and present it the morning they get paid. Let them know they MUST pay the bill or find somewhere else to stay immediately.
Then once they've paid up, which they probably will, rather than trying to find a new place instantly, then you give them notice. Offer a very vair 2 weeks notice.
You're going to need to get tough now, which by your tone may be easier to achieve than you might have thought when they moved in.
Oh, if they choose to move out without paying their bills, take them to small claims court and get your baby's money back.
GL.
2007-05-19 08:44:52 · answer #2 · answered by alisongiggles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR house, YOUR rules.
Talk to them - sit them down on a calm quiet evening and have a chat about their situation. Remind them that your house is not a 12 bedroom mansion. Remind them that they take part in using utilities and food. Remind them that if they had a place of their own, how much it would cost them.
Now, if you have their attention (peacefully, no yelling or namecalling), tell them you want them to take responsibilities as adults in your home. Tell them you appreciate them helping you out with transprtation, but now they are costing you more than you can afford. Charge them rent - enough to cover their expenses plus whatever chores they refuse to do. This will be way cheaper than them paying their own rent (good for them) and will help you with the added expenses (good for you). You could maybe even charge them enough to put some money (don't tell them this) in an interest bearing account and that could be built up for them when they do find some legs to stand on - it'll make a great gift and they paid for it!
Your son is 23 and needs to grow up. Be firm (not mean, just firm) and stand your ground. It is not easy for many young people to be out on their own, but responsibility should be part of a 23 year-olds life. He either has to put up his share of responsibility or go on his way. Mom is not an ATM.
2007-05-19 08:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by TroothBTold 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, this is your home! You are not the intruder or the one causing tension. Your son and his girlfriend both work and not only should be able to pay their way in your home but get a home of their own. It sounds to me like they have a lot of growing up to do because they are choosing to sponge off of you so that they can buy the things they want rather than what they need. Let them know that if they want to live with you then they need to pay a certain amount of rent to cover their expenses as well as clean up after themselves and be in at a certain time of night, as they are waking you up early in the morning. If they don't want to follow your terms then they can get their own place.
2007-05-19 12:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lwood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be wise to have a talk with them about what you're feeling. Just be blunt and upfront and tell them they need to contribute and help you out. If they were on their own they would have to pay something...a whole lot more on their own. It's most defintely not fair to the baby who needs her milk. If they're eating there in all fairness they should help you out, and with the chores. As a mother you should tell them it's not fair for them to dump all their weight on you. I've seen people who have acted immature as this...and as long as they got away with it...they continued to do it...But if the shoe was on the other foot they'd probably have a bill totaled for you. I've seen it too many times. As the woman of the house you have to put your foot down.
2007-05-19 10:17:06 · answer #5 · answered by Lifeizgood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why no longer ask her what she is finding for in all this? She quite needs a chum so start up there. finding forward without experiencing the 2nd potential you may desire to be lacking the boat to. in case you're quite desirous to pass forward there is often apprehension appropriate to the unknown. existence is a discovering journey and the greater you're taking interior the greater you strengthen. truthfully you may choose this greater desirable than she does. elevating a new child by using your self isn't undemanding besides the undeniable fact that it does make you stronger and greater self keeping something you may desire to pass with slightly as a manner to take the step of moving out of your mom and father domicile and on your man or woman. Are you waiting?
2017-01-10 08:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to go. Give them a deadline, and stick to it. They will not leave unless you do this....why should they? You have made it very easy for them to live free.
Why are you cooking for them? Why are you feeding them?
I would make it known in no uncertain terms that they have until a certain time to get out, whether it's their own place or a shelter, makes no difference. Tell them their possessions will be on the lawn on the deadline date. MEAN IT!
2007-05-19 08:39:51 · answer #7 · answered by Tammy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them this isnt working for you. If they dont move that means they have no respect for you; so, while they are gone to work, pack up their things and put into a storage unit and give them the key. Then change the locks on your apt. It will be cheaper for you to take a cab where you need to go!!
2007-05-19 08:58:12 · answer #8 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They both work? Make them pay rent. Me and my boyfriend pay rent at his moms and we buy our own groceries. We also have our own chores to do around the house such as dishes, vacuuming and our own laundry. They cant learn to be adults if theyre there mooching off of you. You need to set some limits or let them know that they have thirty days to get out.
2007-05-19 08:43:22 · answer #9 · answered by dingyblonde1987 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them to get out. if they don't, throw their things out in the street and change the locks. sounds like they need to learn a lesson. and by the way, why would two young people who obviously are able to work need to get foodstamps? when you say "getting paid" do you mean they are on gov't assistance? not that there is anything wrong with it if you need it. but you said they are out all hours of the night, partying, or whatever. ........ sounds like somebody needs to get a life and grow up.
2007-05-19 09:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋