Why is it that men say hurtful things after a break up? I left a miserable marriage after 15 years. He called me names, cussed me out, accused me of everything, called my mom and kids (telling them all of the same, about me) and months later he never meant it and wants to work things out. WHAT?!?! So now I have gotten out of a 7 month relationship and I get to go through the SAME thing. He runs his mouth, calls me names, makes threats, also calls me mom and threatens to tell my kids. Then when he's calm, he wants to work things out.
The thing is, I am not any of the things either of them have said. And I am 40 years old...why do they call my mom? And why does my mom listen to the crap?
How can I ever trust a man again? I don't deserve to be talked to like that. I don't deserve that kind of disloyalty. Are all men like that when they don't get their way? Why would I go back to someone that calls me names anyway? I'm definately not going back to either one of them!
2007-05-19 08:02:01 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He isn't getting his way because I won't tell him what he wants to hear...I am not getting back together. I can't even take his calls anymore. He's nice at first, then acts like we are back together. when I remind him that I we are not, and won't be...he gets angry and we start all the drama over again. Best to ignore his calls, right?
2007-05-19 08:34:55 · update #1
This takes time, give yourself all the time you need.
You will be able to trust a man again one day, but you will be more careful!
2007-05-19 08:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by sweetera 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have made the same mistakes you did! the only difference was mine was a 12 yr marriage and very abusive to me and the kids. Anyway, left one loser and was suckered into another abusive relationship. I finally had the backbone and I kicked him AND my best friend to the curb when I found them sleeping together. Believe it or not there are SOME men out there that can be trusted. I , however, haven't found one yet , but I do hear that they exist so I am hoping the tooth fairy leaves me one under my pillow LOL
Seriously though, I am glad you aren't with either of them and that you are safe and sound. Oh, I have no idea why guys call our moms cuz my mom thinks its funny when my ex would call and say dumb stuff about me. Mom would give him a piece of her mind and he would hang up lol
If ever you need a more personal ear you know how to get in touch with me :)
2007-05-19 15:15:07 · answer #2 · answered by luv2write23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he feels you're out of his control so he takes action showing that he plays a significant role in your life by trying to play a parent, even though what he's doing is very childish. I have been with a guy like this before and the worst thing is that I told my mother to NOT speak with him, never let him in the house (he's a very angry person) avoid his calls... but she didn't listen to any of it and I think she still talks with him when he calls.
My guess is that you're mature enough to take care of your own life and that scares a guy... Obviously he doesn't want to lose you but has a hard time showing you in the right way.
I want to know what you mean when u say "are all guys like that when they don't get their way?" Why isn't he getting his way?
2007-05-19 15:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by Jeska J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say and do hurtful things because they are selfish. No, not all men are like that.
I have no idea why they call your mom instead of talking to you... that's weird.
2007-05-19 15:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seeem to be attracted to the same kind of men. Time for a change.
2007-05-19 15:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will take time. We're not all jerks, happily.
I'm sorry you've been through so much.
2007-05-19 15:08:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋