family or boyfriend that had taken my virginity?

Question

what should i do??my life was so perfect before i met him..money, familiy n friends..until i met him n lost my virginity with him..i realised im not as happy as before..im well educated and he's not n he always running out of money..my family against us..that makes me less and less love him day to day..but i feel like he loves me soo much..i love him but sometimes i cant stand to be like this anymore..i know he's not what my parents wants to be their daugter's partner..i cried every day..im scared if he's just use me for money n other advantages like ask me to fetch him..am i being used by my bf?i think i should stop seeing him but he's d one who's taken my virginity..and i feel he loves me so much..but i dont know its true or not..help me..should i stop now?or let the time decide..but if you ask me to stop..i know i wont..cos im stupid to decide..i dont know what to do..i dont want to leave him..but i want to leave him..im stranded

Answer 1

You are not stranded it may seem like that because his love for you is keeping you at his will. Just because you have sex with someone does not mean that you are bound to them for life. It seems like when you gave your virginity to him you were committing yourself to him for life. You may have seen that act as something that was very sacred and something you would only do with someone you intended to be with forever. There is nothing wrong with wanting that, but you have to be realistic. The more time you spend with someone the better you may get to know them, and it doesn’t mean that in the end you are going to like the person you get to know. You have every right to leave this man if that is what you want. Sleeping with him does not mean that he has the right to make you unhappy for the rest of your life. It is hard to be with someone when your family does not like that person, it may cause a lot of tension. But who ever you choose to spend you life with should be your choice. Your family may love you, but in the end they are not going to be the ones living your life and living with the man you choose. Maybe they do see some qualities that are not favorable and are trying to warn you, and you should take that into consideration as well. He doesn’t seem to be making you happy and you deserve someone who will make you happy. You should never have doubt whether or not your man is using you, that signals a problem. You have to realize that you don’t have to be with him. You may have shared your bed with this man but you don’t have to share your whole life with him. If sex is something that is special to you, then give your intimacy to someone who you love and is more deserving. You have to be strong; you have the support of your family, so if you want to move on then do it. You are not obligated to any man.
Good luck.

Answer 2

I think you need to step back a little from the situation, I mean emotionally step back so you can see things more clear. I think it depends on what type of guy he is, does he not have money because he's lazy, or because he hasn't found a good job but is fighting tooth and nail everyday to find one? I say that because if he's lazy don't for a minute think you'll change him or he'll change on his own...I know of someone who was in you're situation when she was younger and know she's divorced? Why because she thought she could change him but in her 11 or so year marriage, she did the working at her job, she did the cleaning and the baking and mowing the lawn. The guy did not lift a finger. She got tired of supporting him with out him helping. I hope the same thing doesn't happen to you years down the road. It might hurt but if you know what the right thing to do is, do it.

Answer 3

Honestly, i think you should do what you feel is right. He may be using you, and it seems like he is, but i don't know him. When you lose your virginity, it blurs your decisions because you feel like you are really bonded to someone that you probably wouldn't still be with if you had never had sex with them. I went through the same thing with my first, and i wish i would have let her go alittle sooner than i did. there is Always someone out there who you will be happier with, it is just going to take you alittle time to get over him and move on, but i think that you will be Much happier with someone else, life is way too to live unhappy, and family, whether it is your blood, or in my case really good friends, come b4 boy/girlfriends anyday, because that is almost all you have. Good luck.

Answer 4

If you're even questionning leaving him..then you should. When the perfect mate comes along, you'll know it and won't have to question it. You said it yourself, you're not as happy now, you're concered hes using you for your money. This doesn't at all sound like a healthy relationship. This is your life, you have ONE chance at it, you decide your future...so be strong and break it off and move on. You'll end up being happy you did

Answer 5

There is no easy way to say this, but you need to ask yourself if this guy has any ambition? just because he isnt as educated as you and isnt exactly stable rihgt now doesnt mean he is totaly worthless! Is he just in a bad place at the moment or do u think he has ambition ? If he doesnt then yeah u need to loose him if not then ur being superficial and judgemental.. if he treats u good, and loves u and u love him and u think it could work with a little time and patientce then what ur parents think shouldnt matter....

Answer 6

You are educated, and you type like this? How about taking a break. Get a new job, take a new class, tell him you iwll see him in 6 months because you are confused and need time to think. Do not date or do anything else but work on yourself, you might want to see a counselor and work on your own self esteem. Who cares if he is your first roll in the hay, I would not build my life on that. Build yourself up, then see if he is worthy of you. O^O

Answer 7

This guy is not healthy for you. You are not stupid for being confused, however, what you need to do is step away from the situation and then look at it from an objective stand point.
And, truly be honest as to what is keeping you with him.
Is it because of the things he is saying to you? Guilt? Someone like this, who uses guilt to make you feel bad is not a healthy individual. Just be brutally honest with yourself on who you are and what you want for yourself. Go by what you feel and believe, not what other people think.

Answer 8

i imagine you should evaluate what you want for your self and by no potential allow others run your existence, even no matter if it is your mom and father. i'm no longer guidance you to disrespectful yet you want to renowned what's perfect for your self. As for the guy, i might want to assert there are various of degrees in a guy's existence. practise has no longer some thing to do except you're ashamed that he's not fairly knowledgeable. i do no longer recognize how lengthy has this relationship lasted, yet when he's rather dealing with a nasty patch, then i imagine you should offer him your finished help. yet when he's in simple terms toying round with you because of the luxury presented by technique of you, howdy gal, it truly is time to kick his butt. And it will be a real demanding one. As on your virginity, i'm sorry to hearken to this awful guy pop you cherry. in case you experience so sulky about who popped your cherry, possibly you should imagine two times in the previous doing it.

Answer 9

You are being used as a money machine. No self respecting person would play hide the pickle with you and borrow money. Wise up and smell the roses; mature and accept those things in your life which are learning experience. The world is full of stupid people, don't be one of them.

Answer 10

Doesn't sound like much of a future with this guy. You don't have to stay with him just because you lost your virginity to him!

How will you ever know what might be just around the corner if you limit yourself to this guy who seems to be a loser.

Get out and make new friends.