Could you please look at this letter and see if it is correct? Look for grammar and spelling! Please be honest

Question

May 19, 2007

Mrs. Sally Williams
123 Sicamore St.
Town, TX 75874

Dear Mrs. Williams,

I am regretful to let you know that I will no longer need your building to rent. My partner, Cyndi Smith, is not able to be part of my business anymore. Therefore I can not afford to do it on my own. I appreciate the time you let us occupy the building. I will have the building clean and vacated by June 16, 2007. You may mail my deposit to me at P.O. Box 853, Town, TX 75154, if you decide I deserve it back. Thanks again for letting us use your building.

Sincerely,
Shelby Smith


Where exactly do the spaces go?? and how many spaces between each thing?? Do I have them correct?? ALSO PLEASE SEE IF I WORDED EVERYTHING RIGHT!! IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULD CHANGE IN THE LETTER?? Thanks so much!!

Answer 1

You don't need 2 spaces between sentences if you're printing from a computer, only if you're using a typewriter that spaces everything the same.

You sign above your printed name, so you put a bunch of Returns after Sincerely. Usually 4, unless your signature is huge or tiny; then adjust so it doesn't look funny.

Miss Manners says that 'Mrs.' is properly used with one's husband's name, so it should either be Ms. Sally Williams, or Mrs. Archibald Williams -- but hardly anyone else seems to go by this rule.

If you know what she prefers, use that -- Ms. would be the preferred default if you don't know.

"I am regretful" is awkward, if not flat out wrong.

Either

"I regret to inform you"

"With regret, I tell you"

"Unfortunately, I need to vacate [give address? is it the whole building? an office? What you have seems odd, unless a building of no description is the only way to say it, and you're 100% certain she knows which of all of her properties you're referring to.)

Or leave your feelings out -- out of the first sentence, or out of the whole letter, which is a letter of business, or mention your regret and thanks at the end, if you really feel you must.

If it's such a personal relationship, rather than solely a business one, then the whole letter should be more personal.

You paid for use of the building; that's a commercial transaction.

Anyway, the purpose is to inform her that she's losing a tenant, where and when, and where to send the deposit, so the facts should be explicit, upfront, and relatively unadorned.

(You don't need to go into the story of WHY you're leaving -- again, unless you have a personal relationship and you want to go into it, and you're sure she wants to know.)

So, say what, exactly and specifically you're renting, when you're out of there (which you do fine), and the next sentence is fine.

Then if you want to add a nice thing about feelings, do so.

The thanks seems funny, UNLESS she was doing you a favor in renting it at all, or renting it to you.

I'm assuming here you don't have a lease. That would be another matter, for which you need a new question on this site.

Answer 2

Dear Ms. Smith,

As far as your letter goes, it looks like all the spaces are correct. It's one space between words and two spaces after a punctuation mark. Just so you know, your computer should have a button you can use to check your spelling. If anything you typed shows up with a green squiggle under it, your grammar is wrong. You may decide not to go with my suggestions, but you may want to reword your letter as follows:

Dear Mrs. Williams,

I regret to inform you I will no longer need to rent your building. My partner, Cyndi Smith, is withdrawing from our business and I am unable to absorb the cost of running it on my own. I am grateful for the opportunity we had to rent the space from you. The building will be cleaned and vacated by June 16, 2007. If you decide I deserve my deposit back, you may mail it to me at:

PO Box 853
Town, TX 75154

Thank you once again for allowing me to rent the building from you. I greatly appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Shelby Smith.



**** Hope this helps! ****

Answer 3

Dear Mrs Williams:

We regret to inform you that my partner, Cyndi Smith and I, will no longer require the services of your building as our business site. We have decided to divest of the business, hence, we will be vacating the premises by June 16, 2007. I would appreciate it if you will consider reimbursing our deposit via post at this address: P.O. Box 853, Town, TX 75154. We are extending our sincerest gratitude for all the help you have given us while doing business with you.

Sincerely,

Shelby Smith

Answer 4

Shelby:
I will try to help in this letter writing project. The spacing is O.K. with the address part, but you don't have to use a (,)
maybe a (:) or leave it blank. First line...use - I regret to inform you I - need to rent your - Second line...I therefore can not - Third line...time that you -
New paragraph...Box 853 (, NO) Town, -
New paragraph...Thanks again -
Only two spaces before Sincerely THREE before signature - HOPE THIS WORKS FOR YOU.
SPARTAWO...

Answer 5

Inserting two spaces at the end of each sentence is no longer required at the advent of the personal computer. Insert only one space when ending a sentence.

The textual response given by D.W. is the only one to use because it is short and to the point without any personal explanations. Keep your business letter as business as D.W. has written it and it will suffice.

Of course, use business salutations and end in Sincerely, leaving sufficient space for your signature.

Answer 6

There needs to be 2 spaces after each period, and at the end it should be
Sincerely, and then hit enter three times and at the bottom type your name. Like This
Sincerely,

Sign your signature here

Shelby Smith

Answer 7

I regret to inform you that I am no longer in a position to rent your building. Due to a change in partnership, I am unable to manage being the sole renter.

I will have the building cleaned and vacated by June 16, 2007. Please send my deposit to me at ________.

I appreciate the time that I occupied your building.

Answer 8

drop the bit about if they think you deserve your deposit. if you act like you dont expect it back you wont get it. its yours by rights unless they can provide reason they need to keep some of it.

other than that, your queston has already been answered