In need help with a serious problem (read for more details)?

Question

I am a mother who is at a loss, I have a 21 year old daughter who is in a very dangerous situation. Her boyfriend beats her and has already fractured their son's head. She has lost the children because she refuses to leave this excuse of a boy. Whenever I go over there is more damage to the apartment and she has an exuse for everyone of the holes and cuts and bruises I see. I have given her the abuse shelters number, told her she can come home, check in on her whenever I can. She lives two hundred miles away and this punk thinks he is a gangster. They lived with me before moving and he tried to hit me. So I know my suspsions are right on the money.
If anyone has been in this situation what did it take and how did you get away. I want to help her and know how these type of people can intemidate and scare their victims to stay. Any help will be greatly apprciated. I am worried that I will be getting a knock on the door from the police saying she is dead.
A concerned mother

Just to clear things up I talk to my daughter every time I see her to leave this guy. I have told the mediator my concerns with this guy. I need any advise to help her get away.

Answer 1

Hello, I am daughter of a mother who was beat up and cheated by her husband. My father is an ex- boxer and an alcoholic. When he drinks he becomes very aggresive and starts literary torturing us! I have two more siblings, and the youngest one is Frank, my brother, he's always trying to twist his arms and legs. He things he's making a man out of Frank this way. My point is, you're a mother, even if your daughter is 21, you have to grab her and bring her back to your house. The next time he attacks them, go to the police, please do it! Believe me, your daughter will end up like my mother, always beat up, unsatisfied, my father always said that if she will leave him, he will kill her and get us away. If you can, film how he is beating her up, that way if would be easier to prove to the court what he is doing, or take pictures of your daughter in bruises. My mother couldn't ask for help, because this happened in Central Asia, and we don't have Protection Services there, but you do! You daughter's life is in your hands. Don't let her children end up with memories like mine. I'm 21 and I still have nightmares of my father, I wake up in tears realizing how much it affected my psyche. You can make a change, even if your daughter will refuse, remember this is not a healthy relationship. Good Luck, and let God be with you!

Answer 2

Your daughter is in deep trouble if her husband keeps repeatedly hitting her and abusing her. She's taking it without protest, and you never know what he may do next. Don't stand by. First, have a chat with your daughter. Face to face is best, but if you're extremely worried, call her. Start out with something like, "Honey, I know you're tired of me saying this, but I'm worried for you. I know he's abusing you and your son and it's ruining your family. If you don't get out soon, you'll regret it deeply. Even if you love him, he's ruining your life. He doesn't deserve you." If she persists and keeps making excuses, just call her the abuse hotline yourself. (Check http://www.brokenspirits.com/directory/index.cfm?country=us for numbers.) Social services may also help. But whatever you do, DON'T stand by. I think your prediction might just come true if you don't do something.

Answer 3

Do you have any male relatives or friends that can go have a "chat" with this guy? All you can do is to keep telling your daughter you are there for her. my heart goes out to you.
Check your state newspaper history and try to find stories about women dying from being beaten and mail them to her.

Answer 4

I'd contact the shelter and see if they can get in touch with the daughter. See if they can talk some sense into her.

Answer 5

I agree that you should call the police!! Plus social services may help. They deal with adult abuse too.

Answer 6

hi mother,
i feel you, your daughter will not die young in jesus name.

Based on your side of the story, i give the following advice,
the only way out i know is God's intervention,
Your daughter didn't confess , admit or agree that she is in an abusive relationship to you, in this case, you have to try to get her to confide in you, to pour out her heart to you and if she did,

you have to seek help, social workers, counseling, police etc

you tell her that she is unique, she can move on without an abusive relationship, she may not be able to undo the past but she can now start making good choices for her life. she might feel she have blown it and never be blessed, tell her, that God loves her and has big plan for her life, she have a bright future a head. tell her to get her dreams back , if she fall down, she can get back up again.

i will like to introduce you to my friend, the only one i know that can help you, no situation too hard for him to hadle, you might not know him but he knew you before you were born, his name is jesus, jesus is knocking on the door of your heart, asking you to allow him in and take all your burdens, why not open the door of your heart to him today by saying this words
--- lord Jesus, come into my heart, i make you my lord and Saviour today, forgive me of all sins, i am nothing without you, please dwell in me, heal me, cleanse my heart help me and save me. i trust you as i make you my friend lord and personal Saviour. share this prayer with your daughter and her partner, now tell Jesus all about your daughter and ask for God to help you in Jesus name. find a bible believing church around to attend so you can grow (if you need help contact me).

mother, try Jesus out, let him lead you to the way out of the situation, see how he will help you out of every problem you are facing. God bless you

if you need to talk please contact me
http://www.free-counsell.page.tl/
[e-mail]

Answer 7

we had this same kind of problem, my sister was getting the c#@$ beaten out of her and so was her son. we put the b*%$@^$ in jail for battery. we put her in a shelter and she got a divorce. good luck.

Answer 8

you ought to not do something to behave more beneficial "manly"... really, gay men are adult men too! people purely call you gay because they are immature, no longer you. declaring "oh my god" does no longer change your sexual orientation. Falling in love with a guy does.

Answer 9

i think that you should get someone to talk to him...preferibly a buffed out guy who'll teach that fellow a lesson..if that doesnt work, go visit, and steal her away..................................

Answer 10

gosh.i dunno if I'm old enough to say this but please ask her to go for divorce and file a case against the guy