Converts to atheism: how did it feel?

Question

I was brought up a Christian. Now I'm an atheist. When I think of myself then and now, it feels as if I've stepped into the light: I feel freer and less fearful, as if I've cast off shackles. Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Actually, I'm not normally given to this kind of sentimentality! Sorry to sound flaky! I have to work, but it's such a lovely day outside, and I'm in a happy mood and rejoicing in the world around me.

There was no epiphany for me either. It was quite a gradual process, really. I just recently started thinking about it, and the sense of having shaken myself free of dogma made me feel invigorated. Still, I'm sure there are other bits of dogma that still hang about me that are worth shaking off...

I admit that "convert" may be a misleading word. I don't remember there being any boundary line in my life, one side of which I was a Christian, the other side of which I wasn't.

Answer 1

Hmm. Kinda. It was never a formal conversion, in the sense that I'd never have called myself an Atheist, as such, but I am an apostate and heretic of Christianity, and unashamedly so, and that realisation was quite an unexpected event.

I think what struck me then was the realisation that our ideas don't need to be shackled by tradition or institution. Like many others, I'd become disillusioned with the assertions that what Christianity wants and does is always justified by God, and that what it has to say is God's word. There is so much filth in Christianity in its present incarnation that it became incredibly difficult to comprehend, never mind humour, the thought that it is divinely authorative.

When you step outside of the organisation, the freedom is extraordinary. Yet to me, the freedom will not always result in the complete destruction of the ideas I have met. Christianity abuses many of the ideas it talks about but a great many have value that I can appreciate. What's more, the "divine experience", difficult as it is to explain whether within or without religious teaching, can never be completely wished away or perfectly solved. I think what's important is that we are willing to search and be genuinely open to ways of thinking about it, and in that respect, freedom of thought does not necessarily mean "rejection of organised ideals", but is instead "rejection of ideological dictatorship"; including the notion that one cannot believe whatever they feel to be appropriate regardless of how it is labelled or where it comes from.

It is very much the case that stepping away from Christianity is quite a liberating experience. But I think it would similarly be the case for any other specific framework of thought, be it Atheism, Conservatism, Marxism, Science, Religion, even Agnosticism. It's great that you've been willing to take the plunge and look outside of the principles you grew up with, but don't let that fool you into settling down into some other structure! Truly free thought is something that is nameless and uncategorisable, and while I do hope that your tenure as an atheist is an enjoyable and enlightening one, I also hope that you'll continue to search and think for yourself and make your ideas your own.

Answer 2

My experience is much the same as yours. Mom's father was a preacher, and I was sent to church and brainwashed with the family religion. When I was 4 years old, I was in Grandgfather's dark living room with artwork on the walls depicting Hell, the deluge, etc. Mom's grandmother gave a hellfire speech that made me sick literally. I had to take some stomach medicine. I am indeed happier to know such stuff is nonsense. It is enough to nearly drive me nuts to be told I must live forever in one of two undesirable places. I could see the Bible is nonsense by age 7, so I am luckier than some relatives, e.g. my oldest sister is a certifiable nut case largely from her strict upbringing.

Answer 3

There was no singe 'Epiphany' for me, from a very early age I felt the cult I was being brought up in (Christianity) was deeply flawed morally and logically, then as I learnt more science I realised how unnecessary the whole concept of god was. But it took many years for me to pluck up the courage to risk alienating my parents by publicly declaring my rationality. Once I did, I felt so much cleaner, as if I was no longer tainted by the stench of that awful religion.

Answer 4

I was gravitating towards atheism for a long time.
I, too, was raised to be religious and filled with disgust at the horrible effects of religion as I got older.
I was in a relationship and my partner was Christian Scientist.
She was about to try Scientology just before we went out for the first time.
I managed to help her avoid one cult but not the other and in the course of time, I had to confront my own atheism in the course of the relationship.
Good. I feel so much better. And you can't change someone's faith. You can brainwash them if you're into that. But they can't change yours either.

Answer 5

In my 37 years I've only felt free and fearless.
I remember doing R.E. at school and thought how negative religion seemed to be..so much of it was fear based. I have NEVER even thought for a second about being religious.
I'm so happy being me!
I am a good person because that was the way I was brought up..not because I'm scared I'll go to "hell" or that I want to get into "heaven".
Happy for you
xx

Answer 6

No, if so you would be indoctrinating them. If atheists have a concern with non secular human beings coaching faith to their childrens then all of us who taught atheism to their childrens could be a hypocrite on account that they're doing an identical ingredient.

Answer 7

I believe that I understand the feeling but, were you really a Christian? Like did you have a personal relationship with Him?. I learned to know Jesus Christ as my Savior and friend and that religion that expects rules and regulations, is not what God wants for me. I now have freedom in Christ. It's liberating.

Answer 8

Having becoming totally disgusted with religion because of fundie fanatics in a Pentecostal church, I tried to deny God. I ran as fast as I could to get away. He would not let me go. He made sure that I distinguished the difference between idiots and the truth.

Answer 9

It has been so long now that I forget. I tried going back to religion in the past but never could believe in any of it, to me being an Atheist feels natural, I like the honesty of it.

Answer 10

I did for a while then this happened to me.

Several years ago I had an unusual experience concerning an uncle, a distant relative who lived over a thousand miles away.

While driving my car I suddenly felt the unmistakable presence of this relative that I hardly even knew. He was more like someone I had heard about than someone I knew. It was very strange; it felt as though I was momentarily lifted right out of my physical body. I seemed to be suspended somehow beyond space and time, bathed in a love so intense It felt like I could have just disappear into it at any moment if It would have let me. It only lasted for a few seconds, but it seemed to last forever at the same time. I realize how crazy this must sound. The experience was so strong that at first I was afraid I was loosing my grip on reality. I finally managed to chalk it up to an over active imagination.

Three days later I got a call from my aunt telling me that this uncle we are talking about had gone into a coma and died the day I had the experience. It felt like ice water had been poured down my back when she told me this. I had lost any real ideas of God or faith and had become somewhat of an atheist. Needless to say this experience caused me to rethink some of the conclusions I had come to.

I feel blessed to now understand that even in our darkest confusion something loves us so much that it went out of its way to assist me and bring me back to a state of absolute certainty about Gods love for us.
During the experience it seemed like there was a vast amount of information that I was somehow allowed access to. One thing that I came away from this experience understanding beyond any shadow of a doubt was that any Idea that God is unhappy with us or would judge or allow us to be punished for any reason is simply impossible.

I can’t explain the love I felt with words. They simply don’t make words big enough or complete enough to do this. The only way I can begin to convey this love to you is to say that there was simply nothing else there. Nothing but love. No hint of judgment, no displeasure of any sort. It is as though God sees us as being as perfect as we were the day we were created. It is only in our confused idea of ourselves that we seem to have changed.

I hope this is of some help to you. Good luck. Love and blessings.

Your brother don