How to annoy a telemarketer..?

Question

1. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

2. Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

3. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

4. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."

5. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

6. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

7. Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.

8. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

9. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

10. When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.

here's another one:
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. , Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch.

She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

Answer 1

I usually pretend to be my daughter and say 'My Mom's not in right now' - they almost always ring back then it is a good idea to say someone is at the door and just leave the phone off the hook - they get fed up waiting and hang up.

Tip for the day - do you ever get unwanted mail? Just send the return envelope back with nothing it in, it costs the firm money then maybe they will realise and stop sending junk mail out!
LOL

Answer 2

I usually ask how they got an unlisted number and accuse them of being my stalker and then tell that even though his number doesn't show up on my caller ID that it's noted by my service provider ( you can actually arrange for this )and that they should expect a visit from the police because of the death threats and that his boss ( if he really was a telemarketer) would be contacted about how the company has access to restricted numbers that don't appear outside the official database.That usually sends the creeps on their way.

Answer 3

I have some methods although being as I've registered on the Telephone Preference Service (A free service in UK that blocks such calls) I don't get them any more.

When I did I would say.

"Sorry, do I know you? You seem to know me so please give me all your personal details. I'd like your full name, address and phone number please, oh and how much is your salary. What's your mother's maiden name and your date of birth. As you seem to have my details I'm not prepared to talk to you unless you give me yours, Also what time are you home as I'd like to ring you when you get there and ask you some questions because I've got some really nice products to sell."


Another thing I'd say was

"I'm glad you've called. You probably get commission for these calls and I don't know if you're aware but commission doesn't count towards your Company Pension Scheme unlike basic salary, so what I'd like to do is take a note of your home address so that I can call round and discuss Pension Plans with you. I also deal in Personal Accident Insurance and Life Insurance. When would be a convenient time to call?"

Answer 4

I leave my phone off the hook (on speaker) telling them I have to go turn down the saucepan first. then just leave them. Then listen to some of the comments that are made while they are waiting. One actually saked if I was OK and did I need an ambulance, I was so tickled! Also, I'm told while your line is open they cannot make another call, so I'm helping out my fellow man at the same time. Try asking them for their home number so that you can call them back later!

Answer 5

this is some funny stuff.....i actually had a telemarketer ring here tonight and i just opt to hang up but your post haas given me somematerial to try out....thanks fr the laugh :)

Answer 6

I work as a telephone interveiwer. It really is a hard. There is a difference. I Hate when people pick up saying they are not on the do not call list...that is for marketers. Againt, all I do is call wanting your thoughts on certain things. You would be surprised of the difffereance it really makes.

Answer 7

WOW!! I thought I was getting one over on them when they would ask for someone in the house and I say, "Hang on", set the phone down and leave it. When I hear the loud beep,beep, I know they have gotten tired of waiting or wised up to see I was "scamming" them but you give some GREAT alternatives, I'm starring you for future reference.

Answer 8

keep them on the phone for as long as possible. time is money to a telemarketer and the longer you waste their time the less money they make

Answer 9

Tell them you are investigating a murder at the house they called and that they are now a suspect and should hold for questioning.

Answer 10

Ask them to hold on a second and set the phone down. Leave it.