What is the procedure followed for doing an arranged marriage?

Answer 1

There is a very good response to the question .Interesting to note.
All the answers contain some details ,and one or two more details.But In my opinion no answer gave complete reply.in most answers it is said that the groom's father will approach the bride's parents etc.It may the way in NORTH INDIA (I do not know, it may be or may not be there in North India)

I will try to give details o the arranged (so called ) marriages as performed in south India.I hope the same is the procedure in North also.

I ask for patience to read the answer and i request the readers to read with open mind and form their opinion afterwords.

When in any family a girl appraches age of about 20 years the father of the girl start making enquiries about suitable bride grooms nearby .There will be certain cosultants now purely for this purpose , with the photos and details of boys to be married and girls details to be married too.
Now a days at that age the girls (most) will be studying.So now a dys they wait until the girl completes atleast graduation and obtains a degree Some girls study further and complete post graduation and even take up suitable jobs.So the girl will be around 24 or 25 years So a difference of 2 to 4 years in age is normally entertained.
The girl's parents try their best through friends and relatives of their own to know a suitable alliance .They will try a boy who has studied more than the girl . or at least same .
Then they make enquiries about the details about the boys family and about the boys qualities and character,
After they are satisfied with the age,education, family background and boy's character, they approach the boy's parents and propose that they have a daughter and if the parents show interest (they may say the boy still wants further studies, or they have already an alliance in hand etc), the girls parents give the deatils of the girl,horoscope,and a photo.They request an early response(so that they can search another boy,if this does not work out).

the boy's parents too give the details to the other party.so both sides ,now try to see an astrologer, to know whether the horoscopes match and the future of both will be bright or not.
the astrologer studies the chart in several ways and comes to a conclusion whether they are compatible or not.If not compatible, all the details along with photo etc will be returned with a polite reply.
If everything is OK then the parents of the boy alsomake enquiries through friends about the girls family back ground ,financial position, family history, etc etc.
If all goes well, they express their interest in the alliance, and with mutual consent a date will be fixed and on that day the BOY"S parents and boy visit the Girkl's house and there will be a small get together.The boy and Girl see each other FOR THE FIRST TIME.
The boy may ask some questions of his choice and ,boys parents too ask .Similarly girl is permitted to ask anything.The boy and girl will be left alone for some time to exchange their views.If all goes well, another date will be fixed for engagement called NISCHITAARTHAM.Onthat day the both parties exchange fruits and flowers as a token of their acceptance to the alliance.Before committing to any engagement date PARENTS ON BOTH SIDES ASK THE BOY AND GIRL RESPECTIVELY WHETHER IT IS ACCEPTABLE TO THEM.THEY ASK IF THEY HAVE ANY OBJECTIONOR HAVE ANY ONE IN MIND TO TELL.AFTER GETTING A CLEAR ACCEPTANCE ONLT the date will be fixed for marriage celebration..Normally it will be 2 to 3 months hence.This time allows the boy and girl to speak to each other and understand their interests more deeply.They meet and talk .It is permitted.But they do not go beyond a limit and VIRGINIRY IS SEEN AS MOST SACRED THING.(INDIANS VALUE IT MORE THAN THEIR LIFE)

The marriage is performed in Girl's house and it will be normally two days affair.
First day the boy is recieved in great honour and after a a small snack and coffee there will be a function ( very jovial and interesting to watch) called EDURU LOLLU , that means the boy and girl will be beautifully dressed and sit opposit to each , the distance between them is about to 30 feet or so(depending on space available.).Then they slowly move towards each other , each side there will be relatives pulling them back to slow down,This takes place nearly for two hours to cover that 15 feet distance each..because of cheering,laughing and jovial comments etc.finally when they come near to each,they exchange garlends thrice.It is a fubnction to release the tension in the girl and boy and make them more near and dear.
The next day at the exact time fixed , when the pundits reciting or chanting vedic mantras , and around 500 people witnessing the boy ties Mangalasutram (HOLY THREAD).
Affter this there will be functions called Nagavalli etc.All are intended to make the girl tention free and relaxed.
The rest follows the same night .

Now a days the parents are asking the boy or girl , and if they are in love they are approching the elders of the family and with mutual acceptance perform marriage.the importance to horoscope ,natching etc is now not that rigid.It is relaxed.

most of the arranged marriages last long.The muhutham (the time when the boy wears the sacred tgread in girls neck) is so fixed that the Jupiter is aspecting that moment(Guru balam)..and all the guests at that moment rise up and PRAY THAT THE NEWLY MARRIED COPLE LIVE HAPPILY HUNDRED YEARS , and bless them.It is believed that the blessings of so many will not go waste.
the statistics of divorces is very very less in arranged marriages.

So now a days there are many relaxations in arranged marriages too.but still horoscope and matching is mosly seen, as all believe in Astrology.It has been proved many times that astrology is a science.The scholar who reads the chart should be intuitive,talented and a devotee.Otherwise the predictions are inaccurate.

This is in BRIEF ,abot the arranged marriages.

If any thing is wrong,offending to any , i may be forgiven,as to the best of MY KNOWLEDGE , i said about it.

please do not redicule it...know more about it...understand more and more...you will appreciate it.I may not have told you correctly.please read more and more and more.And be convinced.

Answer 2

Indian Arranged Marriage Process

Answer 3

I'm under the impression that an arranged marriage is simply that. Arranged, not forced. In an arranged marriage, you're basically set up by your parents and your potential partner's parents. You're introduced, given a chance to meet and talk in private, and if you like what you see, you spend more time with them, time to learn that person's attitude, mentality, behavior and character. Surely that's not any worse than meeting somebody in a bar? Now, if the parents are trying to force or pressure you into marriage, then that's wrong.

Answer 4

First the groom's father searches for suitable bride according to their family custom, tradition, astrological calculations, education, physical fitness, family background etc. If they come across any bride's profile that matches their requirements or expectation, they will contact the bride's family in person with the required documents to discuss whether the bride's family is ready to accept their proposal.

If the bride's family accepts the groom's family's proposal the next thing they do is to arrange for a formal meeting between the bride and the groom to talk for sometime. This is done for just a introduction between them and to know each other or to look whether both are satisfied in that meeting. If both bride and the groom are really satisfied the next thing is to look out for a suitable traditional (auspicious) date and time for the marriage.

After the confirmation of time and date, invitation is printed and distributed to friends and relatives. Marriage is done!!!

Answer 5

Simple ! First , shut your mind out . Second, let others do and decide everything . And Third, when you have sleepwalked through all the elaborate rituals and all of a sudden you find yourself in the company of a stranger , congratulate yourself on being married afterall. That's arranged marriage!

Answer 6

arrange marriage is where your parents are invloved in making your relationship. but it is mostly from guy side, they visit the girls parents in there house and show there intrest in there doughter for there son, the parents then inquire about the guy background, his income etc.wel the both partners are also allowed to meet each other to know there feelings too.then the marriage proceed further acording to there customs and biliefs.

Answer 7

The parents select the girl or the boy and they even check the back ground of the person who their child is getting married to.Their income , house etc

Answer 8

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Practically, arranged marriages are most stable, successful & much happier. Only 1 % fail b coz of careless & quick selection process. What are STANDARD PRINCIPLES of so called LOVE MARRIAGE ? Do people really love in love marriage ? Do they the meaning of love & marriage both clearly ? Does love abruptly vanish after marriage when question of fulfilling responsibilities in day to day life after marriage comes & mostly such marriages break ? Do people really marry strangers in arrange marriages & don't at ll see each other & don't at all know anything about one another ? Is it presumed that bride & groom are kept in dark ? What is the real procedure of getting married according to you which greatly differs that from living together ? Is there no religious principle & name of God involved in that ? Should not pairs marrying be truly God fearing & principled ? Are love, affection & sex only things in marriage ? How exactly people come to know of the fiancees in love marriage ? How do they come in contact & how do they detect that they love each other ? How do they start loving & what do they do & upto what extent in love before proposing for marriage ? Is there any limit in love before proposing ? How do they detect that they deeply understand each other ? Is not there any uncertainty in judgement ? Are boys & girls around 20 able to understand each other deeply before marriage having no life experience which parents & relatives of their age group have ? Should parents & relatives NEVER at all be consulted in marriage at all ? How many(%) people love(so called) & dump the loving partner ? What basic ethics do all such lovers follow ? Don't most of such lovers act too much in so called love(actually infatuation) to bluff & cheat the love partner ? Who is bigger loser if love fails, boy or the girl ? Should parents allow their daughters in 20s to fall in dager zones of boys for love sake to hook up a fiancee for marriage through such so called love ? Should not girls follow basic safety principle(safety FIRST tactics) & should not parents teach them to be careful about boys ? Should parents allow their their daughters to openly love boys shamelessly even for having sex & getting pregnant too in hope that the loving boy will DEFINITELY marry ? Should they ignore all possible risks involved in such processes ? Should not they & their daughters not follow the policy of PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE ? Are love marriages & arranged marriages are clearly defined having clear cut boundaries ? I've already asked many such questions but no clear cut & to the point answer came from any strong support of so called love marriage. No standard book of "LOVE MARRIGE " exists till today. Will supporters of love marriage clarify all questions satisfactorily ?

Answer 9

I think the father's negotiate, Im not sure thats not apart of my culture, Thank the Heavens ;)

Good Luck

Answer 10

Man you are in for trouble!!... go to www.saveindianfamily.org; www.498a.org and contact the nearest helpline, also going through it you woudl also know on how harsh it could be!!