Has your husband ever called you a *****, whore, or hoe? If so, did you forgive him or leave him? What if he does it repeatedly? Is there ever a scenario by which that alone would be cause for a divorce? Is it really that big of a deal or should it just be written off as words said in anger that don't mean much?
2007-05-18 18:44:05 · 24 answers · asked by Anne W 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all who participated. I have a friend who has this problem and I was curious to see if my advice to her was in line with what most people thought. Thanks again!
2007-05-19 01:30:37 · update #1
I am assuming that you have called your hubby names too? *LOL* Do you really think that if you divorce your husband over "name calling" that you will find someone better? I have been married five years and it started off as the marriage from hell. If I had not stood up against the name calling and the constant screaming and fighting.....I would have never had the heavenly marriage I have now. Forgive! Forgive, forgive, forgive. Over and over again. There is a quote that says " A good marriage is the union of 2 good forgivers" Also, if you do good to your husband Always even when he says hurtful things to you, you will win him over to you and you will have the love you have always dreamed of. Blessings! Allison
2007-05-18 18:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by Truthteller 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has never ever called me a whore. Probably because he wants to wake up tomorrow. He has told me that I was acting like a b*tch. Calling your wife a whore is verbal abuse. Yes I would walk. That is just the beginning of some serious abuse to come. Abuse comes in many forms, not just physical. That is a really degrading word and shows that he has no respect at all for you. How would he react if someone called your daughter a whore??? That is really wrong and don't try and find reasons to excuse it. That is completely unacceptable.
2007-05-18 19:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well I'll be the first to tell anyone, I can be a *****. That said I can be a ***** to my husband at times. I called him names, he called me names. When your angry you can say some pretty vicious things to each other. Now when it becomes a rountine and neither can apologize, then maybe you need to think, is this what you really want in life. To be called a whore/hoe is pretty mean and if this is being said out of petty jealously and is untrue
is just dum. Personally I couldnt stay w/ my husband if all we did was fight all the time. After awhile it's get old and you just need to move on. Either work it out and solve your issues or just move on.
2007-05-18 19:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by Erica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's verbal abuse. I don't think one time should ever justify divorce, but if a husband does it over and over again without improving then I would think most wives might consider divorce. If you don't do anything about it ever, then it seems like you are saying it is OK for him to do it. And I think the words do mean a lot, because every word (and my dh and I have used a few names in our marriage esp. in the beginning when we were starting out) hurts your marriage just a little bit, puts a little crack or dent in your marriage.
"Frustrated" said for you to look at your behavior, but I don't think any behavior of yours would justify such harsh words. At times we are all unhappy with what our spouses do, and part of maturity and marriage is learning to either let it go (I do that quite a bit with my dh!), learning what is important and what is not important, and a lot of stuff is really not important!. If it is truly important then we can talk about it without name-calling.
2007-05-18 19:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never. If your spouse is a name caller, then those names can really hurt someone and cause some damage, which is verbally abuse. It is a big deal if your spouse calls you names repeatedly, even if it is caused by anger.
Many women and men provoke their spouse to cause them to use such words out of anger or they can use those words to mean it because maybe their spouse is acting like a ***** or a nagging spouse. In reality, a ***** is a female dog.
2007-05-18 19:04:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Individual sometimes can say bad words as the way of expressing your anger to someone rather than hurting or killing.
For your situation, I can say....make ur patience long to save ur family. May be ur husband did not mean it and besides, u know yourself who u are or u are not doing such, so... ignore it. However, you to talk to your husband heartily and honestly, that by calling you such, it makes you hurt, dissappoint, etc.
By doing this, I'm sure there will be a changes from your husband attitude and later on you will have the respect and love you deserve.
A saying says "There is nothing permanent in this world, except changes".
2007-05-18 19:12:40 · answer #6 · answered by doods 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the more pressing question now is are there children present and hearing this? If so, this needs to stop and you need to remove them immediately from the room. If not, and you are alone and it's just the two of you, it's important to stick to the subject. Using words like this is just another form of laziness, because they can't find the right words to truly express how they feel. Tell him you won't respond any longer to him if he is to lazy to tell you how he really feels. Silence can be a good tactic. On a more personal note, are you being "Bitchy"? Constantly nagging, constantly repeating yourself? Make sure you take a microscope into your own behavior and look at it objectively. Sometimes when we feel attacked we see ourselves as victims rather than dealing with our own short commings. Good luck.
2007-05-18 19:41:33 · answer #7 · answered by Maat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the man i have been with for 12 years has called me that in an argument and im glad someone has asked that they say that what people say in anger is what they really feel and the only reason it comes out then is because there is no conscience not to stop themselves. So i would say repeatedly there would be a problem.
2007-05-18 18:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by bragaboutme32 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he has called me a b*tch plenty of times as well as a few choice names I can't write here. I reciprocate though...he ears ring after I am through with him! LOL. They are just words said in the heat of the moment...and although at the time I want to divorce him, we have been together for 10 years and we always get over it.
2007-05-18 19:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by West Aussie Chick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No and he better not. He came real close once by saying you are acting just like a "b****. But never again.
Words mean something weather they are out of anger or not. If it bothers you then it matters...period. Put an end to that tell him it hurts your feelings and dont call him names either ever, get some respect for each
other and love each other
2007-05-18 18:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by pallas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋