I just haven't met any people who I like... and I'm 19 and it's been this way since high school began. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I meet people in college, but they're just not people I find interesting or like. I think it's really starting to affect my mental health and stuff... and I'll be 20 in July and I've never dated or nothin and I have a feeling it'll be that way for a while. Any advice?
Maybe it's just like this for average 19yr olds and I'm just obsessing over nothing. Is it?
2007-05-18 17:41:03 · 24 answers · asked by lost.in.love 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I understand how you feel. I'll meet someone decent in class or at work, and then I realize I don't like them that much. I'm very picky about friends because I've been hurt so badly in the past. Just give it time, eventually you'll find some people to hang with. I'm still hoping to find some too!
2007-05-18 17:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by two_kee_kees 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're a discerning person. You may have a different set of standards or values than most of the people you know--especially those in college. By that I mean you may not be into partying all night or binge drinking. Perhaps you are more intellectual so you might want to look at groups that have poetry readings or political discussion groups. If you like theatre you could sign on for a play--not necessarily as an actor, but props, stagehand, lighting, anything where you could be around people with a shared interest.
You could join a Bible Study group or a church choir.
Check out the bulletin boards in the dorms or the student union lounge. You might find a group that would interest you. Colleges have all kinds of groups available--anything from Philosophy Club to Renaissance Fairs to pick-up basketball games.
Do you have a particular interest or talent? Maybe you could start your own group. Ask a faculty advisor for help. S/he may direct you to another student with the same interest and there's the start of a friendship. That's the beginning of networking with other students.
Do you tend to have a reclusive personality? Do you set the standards too high for female companionship? That's fine when you're ready to settle down. First you need to get out there and discover how many different kinds of girls there are. Start with one of your classes. Have you noticed one particular girl that is physically attractive to you or one that asks or answers interesting questions in class? If it's the latter, go up to her after class, tell her you liked her answer and would she like to have coffee with you? Start slow, get a feel for the nuances of dating, and then don't think about it--just date for the fun of it.
I don't think you're obsessing over nothing. What I do wonder is if you're not concerned with everything being perfect right from the very beginning. It won't be--that's why we need to date a variety of people before settling down with one. You'll learn a lot about yourself, what you want in a relationship, and what your partner wants and deserves. Good luck.
2007-05-18 17:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by goldie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consider going to Rose-Hulman or Purdue and majoring in science, computer science, engineering, etc. Engage in the social life in your dorm. Ask your RA for help if you find college social life challenging. Join some clubs or good fraternities (one's that focus on helping you become yourself at your best rather than at your worst). Large schools such as Purdue probably have a club for nearly every interest, or you could start a new one. Consider doing some community service or intramural sports. Some people find a "best friend" during college. Some don't. Most people are still growing intellectually, socially, emotionally, etc. during the college years. Personalities are changing. The persons you like best in college may not be right as life long friends, but then again, they might be.
2016-05-17 07:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that you are judging the people you meet too quickly? You need to spend time to get to know people before you reject them or as you said you will be lonely for a long time.
I think you need to relax around people. Not everyone is like you or has your ideas. But everyone has ideas and is different in their own ways. The beauty of friendship is that friends can be completely at the opposite of the spectrum but still be good friends. I maybe an atheist and have a great friend who is a devoted religious person.
Just remember that life is too short to be completely picky.
2007-05-18 17:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by Tourang B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you join academic clubs or sports teams that interest you, you will meet people with similar interests. The best way to make friends is to meet people who have some of the same interests you have. It will give you something to start conversations about.
2007-05-19 04:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by Country girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are your hobbies? If you like reading you could join a book club. If you enjoy sports you could join a team.
Think about what you enjoy and go out and find people who also enjoy the same activities. That's one way to be sure you'll have something in common with the people you meet.
2007-05-18 17:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by Dona A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm Well I doubt it is an age problem. It's your intrests and what you like in people. The people you are meeting just don't seem to have the personality your looking for I guess. So all I have to say is, to continue and try and meet as many people as you can. Go out, not just in school, do what ever you can, join a club , or something like that. Well that's my adivce may help may not.
p.s. Alternative : Grow some balls.
2007-05-18 17:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't generally find people likeable either. But maybe a good way to find those few you would like to hang out with would be to become active in a hobby you enjoy, a sport or activity that would involve meeting others. That way you would already have something in common.
Might make it a little easier. Don't worry too much.
2007-05-18 17:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by Pineapple Hat 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It happens. You're learning more about yourself and maybe dwelling too much in the not so positive aspects. Dwell on the good stuff, congratulate yourself more, realise that you teach others how to treat you... you may be in a much better place then.
You're probably not going to like everything about a person. I'm not saying lower your standards, but try not to depend on anyone to be "perfect"-what ever that is.
2007-05-18 17:47:26 · answer #9 · answered by censored_4_tv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some times in life we live a certain way, and letting other people close, is a reflection of what they will think once they get to know us, i have been a loner most of my life, not always by choice'' in life u will find very few true friends most will be just associates , just try not to think wether or not they will like u , if u think lke this u have already set yr mind set to not connect with people, just remember life is about living and learning, hope this helps
2007-05-18 17:49:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋