Out with his friends; I'm pregnant?

Question

Okay, I need to know if I'm over exaggerating, my fiance and I are expecting, I'm only like 3 weeks pregnant; in fact, we found out today that it's a stable pregnancy, before we feared it might be a miscarriage. Today he went out to shool billiards with his friends and I didn't want him to go, but I let him go b/c I don't want to seem like the jealous possesive type. Most of his friends are married and w/ kids and he says he'll be home at 11pm... I can't trust him at all no matter how hard I try... He has never given me a reason for me not to trust him, but I just can't b/c I have a bad family history and relationship history, so it all feeds into it. I can't stand that he's out... How can I change that feeling... Or, do I have a right to be upset

I'd had a miscarriage before so I rushed to the doc when I was late and started w/ the cramps like I did the last time... I had the blood hormone tests done, and the hormone count keeps getting higher, so, it's a positive; I'm preggers.

Answer 1

OK breathe.....the chances are he is freaking out a little about the implications of the pregnancy and needs some space right now to wrap his head around it...because for a man, having a baby means RESPONSIBILITY and (they think) the end of all fun......so he is probably a little in denial.....

It is understnading that you too are freaking out in a different way and need to feel safe and secure....and that you won't be abandoned....and why isn't he here with you right now tonight of all nights?

Am I right?

Understand that both of you are raw and on edge....cut him some slack....you have the next 8 months a 1 weeks (give or take ) to figure this out......

Hey--Congratulations!

PS, one of the things you learn when you get to be my age....everything isnt a Crisis in the moment. This isn't life or death right now......just relax a little and dont force everything immediately....it is OK to wait until tomorrow and see if you look at things any differently.

Answer 2

You can change that feeling and you better try to work on it now, before those hormones start to hit you like a 747. If you want your relationship to work you must realize that you can't LET a grown man do anything. The fact that he has never given you any reason not to trust him is good. I know you do not think it is fair that he spend all of his free time with you. You need to find a hobby and stop letting what you have gone through in the past worry you about a person that have no motive in hurting you. You should also be thankful, that his friends are married with children. It gives him a role model. You won't need it, if you start acting like his mother. Don't make him resent you. Trust isn't something you try, it's earned. He's never given you a reason to think any other way, so what is it for you to TRY? He's already earned it. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE UPSET. YOUR BEST THING TO DO IS CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR, BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELF, BY YOURSELF.

Answer 3

Trust is vitally important. Since he has given you no reason not to trust him then you should consider counseling to help you learn to deal with your past. Don't let a bad past ruin a bright future. Good luck!

Answer 4

sorry to hear that had a misscarriage before...but if you dont trust him..why are you pregnant again? and if you have a lot of issues in your life and relationship..why would you get pregnant? and bring a child into that?
if you dont trust..it wont work...
so start living for your unborn child..and be the best mother you can be and prepare a great life for your child..
good luck

Answer 5

every thing does not repeat itself in life. and in case it does you know what happened in the past,and you can change the future. stop worrying. first you gave him permission to go, now you are mad. worrying about nothing is not good for the baby. if he invited you, you should of went. and if his friends are married i'm quite sure they will keep him on the straight and narrow. again you can change the future. what is the point of finding someone if you are not even going to give him a chance to prove his love for you?

Answer 6

i understand your struggle, but what i would do later is right around 11:00...(or whenever he is supposed to get home, just call him confirming what time he will be home. it's important for a couple to have total trust and dependancy on eachother.

remember - God is with you in all circumstances.

Answer 7

Learn how to trust or dont get married.

Answer 8

change or lose him
you cant know you are pregnant till about 4 weeks... i am not sure how you found out that early...