How do I stop covering my shame with lies?

Question

Its pretty spontaneous when I come up with lies. Sometimes I pause for a moment, think it over, and spit out the truth. I don't do it all the time, only for the most shameful things I've done. Its pretty hard to admit things when people expected better out of you and you let them down. I don't know if I am the only one who does this, but that doesn't matter because I know it's becoming a problem and it just gets me stuck in a deeper whirlpool of lies.

Its not like I do shameful things all the time, everyone makes mistakes.

Answer 1

You must live up to your own expectations, and no one Else's.
Do what you believe you should, and be honest about your priorities. If you continue to say one thing and do another there will be more than shame to deal with, you will find that no one will trust or confide in you...
Resolve to be honest, if your problem is of laziness, then either be straight about it ("I decided it was more important to station my fat *** on the couch than to do the laundry.")
If your problem is compulsive, then understand that you MUST be able to live with your actions or bring them under control...Because if you don't, then you will be rejected by your social organism like a disease, relationships are built on trust, and it is their only currency...
I hope you have not done this to the extent that you cannot repair the damage you have already done.

Answer 2

Get to the root of the shame and the lies will probably fall by the wayside. I had (at best) a difficult upbringing, and I was full of shame and embarrassment about my family. When I finally came out of my shell and realized that, basically, I really don't give a f*@# what people think, I just started telling the truth. What was the worst that was going to happen?? Somebody going to take a swing at me?? (I'm a combat veteran. I'll take care of myself... I promise!!). I became so in-your-face honest that I scared people away, which is OK because, if you like me, you'll stick by me! If you don't like me?? SCREW!!! I don't have a lot of close friends (if I need another friend, I'll buy a dog), but I am TIGHT with the friends that I do have (Besides, we all ride Harleys... not a lot of people on the planet stupid enough to f*@# around!!!)

BONUS: If you tell the truth, you only have to remember one story!!!

Answer 3

Well I guess you have understand about shame.
Secrets often equal shame and the shame stays as long as the secret is kept, or in your case maybe as long as the lie is kept. Shame feeds on secrecy so the more you try to hide it the stronger it gets. When you try to hide it, you don't even realize it is controlling your life, although in your case I think you do. Shame is about not liking yourself. Confront your shame and identify it, you need to build self esteem to dissipate it.
I hope this explanation helps.

Answer 4

rule number one stop soing shameful things. this way you will never have to worry about being uncovered for being a scumbag.
rule 2. if you happen to do something shameful make sure you keep your mouth shut. pleading the fifth admendment is not actually admitting to any thing. there for there is no issue.

Answer 5

commit to honesty.
it will win you respect
especially self respect
it will transform your life.
just check everything you say before you say it
"is this 100% true"
lying is a recipe for an unhappy life.
it hurts only you in the long run.
we're not dumb, we usually figure out you're lying and then we don't trust you anymore.

Answer 6

Honesty is the best policy, always. That doesn't mean that you can't just refuse to say anything. If asked a question, just say"I would rather not say".

Answer 7

Stop it starting today, and let the past lies unravel by themselves.