do i leave my wife?

Question

my wife after 3 children is not at all interested in any approach made my me when it comes to sex it has been like this for a long time now. should i just stop thinking abouy myself and get over it or should i go? i have tried the dinners,flowers,romantic gestures everything what do i do ?

Answer 1

NO! Don't leave, fix what you have. Your first choice has got to be to go to a marriage counselor. If you leave her, realize you are also leaving three children and yes, there is a terribly high price to be paid by children when their parents divorce. So try and fix what you have, seek counseling, and talk with her. It could be she is just so dog-gone tired that sex isn't a high priority for her. These are things that can be worked out, but you have to give it a chance.

Answer 2

Try to explain the importance to her of having intimacy back into your marriage. Most of all, if u have not tried it do some housework. Often a woman, especially if she is a working woman is drained from work all day and then children. From experience the taking her to dinner, flowers, romantic gestures will not do it. That is special, but for a woman the housework is still there. Try the housework, or bet yet let her go somewhere for a day or two just by herself. Give her a day just for her, and then surprise her by cleaning the house. If that does not work then explain this to her. If she does not get it together then you may have to look elsewhere for comfort. Finding your man with another woman will kill you. Give her fair warning that you need comfort/love/companionship. Then see where it goes, give her a heart to heart first. Let me tell you, she needs to wake up a good man is hard to find. She needs to wake up and smell the roses, there is a tramp around every corner that will give it up for free. GIVE HER A CHANCE FIRST.

Answer 3

Do you treat her with respect? Are you funny and positive-thinking most of the time? Are you confident and flexible?

If you answered 'yes' to all of those things, then here's a dirty little secret that your dad should have told you before you got married: there are some women who will marry men they aren't that interested in because they want to have a family, and then once they have kids, they find the love they have been looking for (their kids), and then you are just a pay check they tollerate after that. That's why it's important to know she really is interested in you before you marry her. That's why you don't marry the ones that play hard to get (there are a lot of other ones you don't marry too, but....in this case I want you to think about how you courted this woman. Did she make you pursue her?"). But... some women are really good actresses and can fake a high interest level, and that's why it's important not to rush into marriage.

You may have been a sperm donor only if you didn't do something to kill her interest in you.

Start taking care of yourself: join a gym, get into shape, network with male friends. Get your backup plan into shape just in case.

Answer 4

Have you talked to her about it? Do you still love her and your children?
Does she work AND take care of the children and the house, or do you help around the house and help take care of the kids?
She may be exhausted by the end of the day. There is also a large number of women who lose interest in sex for many reasons.
Some of them are treatable, she should see her doctor and talk to him/her about it.
You really need to talk to her about it before taking any action.
If you aren't helping around the house or with the children (even if she doesn't work outside of the house) then you do need to do more.
Most stay at home mom's do more during the course of a day then any high executive, she is on call at all hours, never gets a break, can't have a sick day etc, this also goes for mom's who do work outside of the home as well.
TALK TO HER, and good luck.

Answer 5

There has to be a reason she is acting like this. You really need to try to get her to talk to you about it. Hopefully you can work it out as a team. I don't feel you're thinking of just yourself if you have tried romantic ways. If you take advice of going elsewhere for what you want, you probably won't have a marriage to worry about. It would be sad to end a marriage after being together long enough to build a family. Try to explain how you feel and ask what she wants.

Answer 6

You mean she does not want to have sex with you anymore? Sex is very important in the relationship. You have kids, maybe you should approach your wife with this issue. If she does not want to hear it then this marriage is going to be the worst. Does she finds some else attractive? Usually when a girl acts like that is because she is sleeping with someone or talking with someone. Check it out immediately!

Answer 7

I hate answers like the one I am about to give you:

That depends.

Is it an empty threat? Meaning are you hoping to leave her to scare the be=jesus out of her? Or are you willing to live with the consequences....no wife, kids, paying child support, living in a dreary apt, no money etc.

Honey your wife might just be freaking tired all the time. Three kids are a lot....and taking care of a home....cooking/cleaning/working etc.....people at home and at work WANTING WANTING WANTING...

whoops sorry that's me, not your wife...

But seriously you get my drift.

Send her away on a spa vacation for 2 weeks.

See what happens when she gets back...but NO PRESSURE. Maybe what she needs is no pressure.

But if that doesn't work....then you know. And you have a decision to make.

Answer 8

First of all she needs to go to the doctor to find out if there is anything that can be making her medically not have the desire to have sex, such as being a diabetic. If there is nothing there then go and talk to someone together, there may be issues of low self esteem after having 3 children. She may just not feel like she is sexy enough anymore.

Answer 9

Try just pouring yourself into your kids and being the best dad in the world. Take care of yourself and don't make any advances at all. After a while tell her how you feel and that you have considered leaving to feel loved by someone else. Make sure you know exactly what you need and tell her clearly as well as open it up for her to tell you exactly what she needs. You both should give 100% to give each other what you need - your marriage will work then.

Answer 10

Try THIS romantic gesture. Get a sitter for the entire night and take her to a hotel. Do NOT initiate sex. Give her a back rub, a hot bubble bath, a stack of magazines, and a bottle of wine. Tell her she's amazing, beautiful, and you want her to have a night to realize that, but you don't want sex.
She'll be jumping YOU in no time.