My husband bought a brand new Mustang w/out talking to me first. We can't afford this! What do I do?

Question

My husband is having his mid life crisis. He decided he needed a Ford Mustang to feel happy. Our marriage has been going south for months and instead of going to counseling like I've repeatedly asked him to do with me, he choose the stupid route. He came home last friday with a brand new ford mustang. He had called me from the dealership and I expressed then my disapproval and I was crying, but he bought it anyway. The worst part is the deal he made. 84 months at 10.25% interest and he rolled 7000 of negative equity into the loan, this is the reason the interest rate is so high. I was livid to say the least. I still am livid. On saturday I made him take the car back and beg the dealership for something less expensive and he comes home with a V6 Mustang instead of a GT. the payment is $100 less than the GT he brought home, but still $125 more than we were paying. We cannot afford this. Plus it is still a 7 yr loan. I don't know what to do. This feels like the end for us.

While it is only $125 more a month with the negative equity and the interest, he turned a $22000 car into a $40000 car. How am I suppose to save for my kids college funds? Marriages? their own cars? He was very selfish and only thinking of himself. We can't return the car and get ours back, no return policy on new vehicles. Not to mention we were trying to get out of our credit card debt and we had come up with a game plan to pay that all off by Feb 2008 and he shot that plan all to he!!

If been thinking about leaving him for some time now. I set a date for me to leave by if some things don't change. It's really hard though because we have two kids and he knows I will do anything for those kids. We had our big family vacation planned for June and we were taking the big trip to Disney. Something we have wanted to do since we had kids. Now they are old enough. He has really ruined this vacation for me. I don't know how to enjoy it with him being there and me being so mad at him. I have promised those girls their trip to Disney and they are going to get it. After that, I'll probably leave him unless some miracle happens by then. I'm at my wits end. We've already been battling his drinking problem for the last four years. How much is one person so suppose to endure?

Switch-you are crazy. I didn't treat my husband anyway at all, he did this to me and our kids. Imagine your husband coming home and saying, I spent $40000 dollars today, no you find a way to pay for it. I'm the one that pays all the bills and always has. I'm left to juggle yet another debt. It is just a car. It gets you from point A to point B. Things don't make you happy.

Answer 1

Who in the world would buy a car just to fix a bad marriage? You really need to leave this guy, fast. Tell him what Shania Twain said..."That don't impress me much", and that the relationship is over. See if or how he can solve the car problem on his own without you anywhere in the picture. That'll really show him who's right and who's wrong. One more thing. If you ever eventually marry again, tell the significant other to keep the current vehicle. Let him know that someone's personality shouldn't be judged by the car he drives. As long as what he's got gets you from point A to point B.

Answer 2

Kick him out of the house. I'm sorry, but if he's been battling drinking and is throwing -your- money away, he isn't mature enough to be a father. Plus if you've been paying all the bills and making all the financial decisions you can call the dealership and make sure your name is nowhere near the title. Make sure his name is removed from every bill, utilitiy, credit card (unless the purchases are his, then it's his debt). You need to distance yourself from this guy. He'll only make your life, and your daughters' lives, more miserable. And if your daughters are old enough to understand, you can explain that daddy made some bad choices and is living with the consequences. Good luck!

Answer 3

If my husband ever done something like that without discussing it with me first I would be ready to walk out the door!!!! He was totally wrong and disrespectfull on what he did and very selfish!! I really feel very bad for you. He just went right over your head and done just what he wanted to do and not even caring about his house hold finances. I don't mean to upset you anymore than you are but your marriage is headed for something very bad to happen. When a man pulls a stunt like that I would wonder who he bought the car to impress? The next thing you know he will probably have someone else besides you to ride in the car with him! My God does he not really care or realize that if you walked out on him at this point what it will cost him? He would be paying for child support, lose his home and everything else a divorce would entail. Besides that he would lose the car because he could not afford to keep it then! His car payment would go to you for maintenance and he would have to go bankrupt on it. i understand that your husband is avoiding counseling but you must get him there come hell or high water! If he keeps on refusing to go you are going to have to give him an ultimatum of some kind because you don't know what he is going to do next? I can only imagine that this feels like the end to you ....I would be totally devastated by his behavior. I really hope everything turns out for the best sweetie but I don't know how it will be with the problem he has! Best wishes.

Answer 4

Tell him you have had it and only a miracle will save this marriage. Tell him you have just the miracle - from now on, you will manage the money and make decisions about purchases (he can have an allowance but no credit cards except a debit card). This is your ultimatum - until the debt is all cleared away.
This was really an aggressive act on his part. He's making decisions without talking to you - not about the car, about taking money away from savings and thereby affecting future education funds, etc.
Yes, it may be a midlife crisis but tell him you don't want to be along for the ride.

Answer 5

Hand him the check book and the bills and tell him to figure it out! Do not back down. Go about your other chores and concentrate on the children. When he argues or refuses to do the job, tell him then the bills won't get paid because I am not stressing over it anymore.

If you are working, open your own account and only give him a portion of your wages to work with. You may need some money if things don't work out.

Good luck with this!

Answer 6

I had a husband like that. I put up with his bs for 14 yrs. He took the payments over on his Mom's car behind my back, then the only thing he paid was the car payment rent, I told him the 1st time he didn't pay the rent i was out of there. Sure enough he didn't pay the rent, i sold everything i had & moved to another state that was 11 years ago. I was so happy to leave him behind. God Bless You !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs, Star

Answer 7

Kind of feels that way to me too.

I'm so sorry to hear that. We spend our lives trying to find someone who loves us and respects us and believes in marriage as a team effort where both partners share in major decision making, and then something like that happens.

That's so sad. Sorry. Good luck.

Remember to empty all of the bank accounts when you move out. He's got his. You get yours.

Answer 8

Honey you are better than I would be to the jerk. Whose name is the car in? I know this, if I don't kow anything else. A deadbeat will brong you down quicker then a sinking ship. I would get my walking papers and drive the car away from him too, since you have to pay for it. you might as well drive it .

Answer 9

Sweetie, I would take it back myself!! He is going through something alright, being a selfish jerk! There is no way in heck I would stand for that, nor would my honey stand for it if I acted like that. He has no regard for your feelings or your future. Take it when he's at work, take it back and I would cut up any credit cards he has and take his name off bank accounts, he obviously cannot be trusted.

Answer 10

You first need to come to grips with reality, you are married
to him.
That doesn't make you his master or ruler.
Be a wife not a dictator.
Unhappy? Then get out!