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1: said my belly is getting bigger (not in a very nice way, although at first he tried to pretend he was joking)
2: Said my thighs were bigger than last year.
3: KEEPS on saying I should go to the damn gym.
4: Told me I wasn't going to be happy when I put on a bathing suit.
Ok, a little about me, I'm no pansy, I pretty much told him I was going to beat his *** if he said one more thing about it. (this is after telling him he was hurting my feelings after each thing he said over a week period)
Him: He's basically a nice guy. Really! Not the stereotypical type you'd think of when you hear 'the man is calling his wife fat' bit.
I do webcam online karaoke, I think he's worried about guys looking at me. That's all I can think it might be. (insecurity, unconscious belittling to show I can't do better)
I'm 24, he's 33 (and not the most fit)
What do you think his deal could be?! Is he losing interest? Falling out of love? Any insight at all?

me:
http://i10.tinypic.com/6aiog0l.jpg

2007-05-18 13:11:30 · 10 answers · asked by jewelsinme 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

what bothers the most, is he's not normaly an asshole, just started, AND I asked him to stop saying stuff like that and it seems like he's just saying it to piss me off! (or is not interested in me anymore, or is checking out other women and finding me lacking) See all these doubts women live with?!

2007-05-18 13:12:57 · update #1

I like the first answer, a lot. But what could I do to improve the situation? Flatter him more? I promise I flatter him way more than he flatters me. No more 'you're so pretty's in a LONG time.

Also, to the guy who told me to be rude, that's basically what I do, but I'm worried about WHY he's saying it, and just getting him to stop may stop me from being pissed off all the time, but it sure is building up some serious concerns, resentment, anger towards him... (I hold grudges) :(

2007-05-18 13:22:53 · update #2

I included a link to my picture.

I weight the same as last year, and I have never gotten lazy in our marriage. If anything, I tried harder because I wanted to "keep" him interested. Lol.

2007-05-18 13:29:16 · update #3

10 answers

It could be that he just feels his own age and lack of healthfulness creeping in on him, so he is transferring it to you. It's not an easy thing to feel age creeping up on you, to see how your body is changing and some people, who may be perfectly nice, may just attack others, especially those they love, in a statement of frustration more than anything else.

2007-05-18 13:15:11 · answer #1 · answered by John B 7 · 2 0

It's normal to be upset because you were a virgin and he wasn't, but you knew this when you married him. My husband wasn't a virgin when we married and neither was I since I was previously married and had a child. Sometimes I get a little jealous, but then I remember I'm the woman he chose and when we have sex it isn't sex with no meaning, it is making love to the one we love. Also did he marry any of those women? No, but he married you because he loves you so don't let your jealousy override that and cause problems in your marriage. Pray to God and ask Him to remove the jealousy from your heart. You should also let your husband know how much this bothers you and ask him to speak to his family about not bringing it up anymore since it is in the past, at least not his sexual exploits.

2016-05-17 05:38:42 · answer #2 · answered by gina 3 · 0 0

My husband is doing the same thing......and I look no different than I did 5 yrs ago. What he says is very hurtful. I get mad, upset and even cry sometimes. It has done little for my self esteem. I just keep on going with the days. Hope that one day he will stop his degrading. I don't think it is "losing interest" or "falling out of love". I just think that sometimes when they are not happy with themselves they have to put someone down. Like they are not happy with themselves...........Good luck.

2007-05-18 13:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by Krissy 3 · 0 0

Some times it is difficult to answer things that you and only you really know. What I can see it is that there is a lack of communication between your husband and you. I think both of you should take your time and go away one weekend, and in peaceful atmosphere sit and talk to each other. Let you words come out free from your mouth, and when time for him to talk, listen quietly and with interest. If you start fighting you marriage will end up, try to avoid that road as long as you can.But let him know that you as well as him deserve respect and that it is both responsibility to try to keep young and healthy. Best luck to you.

2007-05-18 13:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by jacques v 1 · 0 0

Are you gaining weight? There is always a comfortable area you enter when married and weight can be gained quite quickly, but laziness is no excuse. There is also an age difference there that could be significant. You may be right about the jealousy thing too. Get away from the computer for a while. Also, 30-45 minutes a day is all it takes to drop a few pounds, tone up.

2007-05-18 13:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by cockyUSMC 1 · 1 2

I can't stand men like this. They are the epitome of "pigs". Women gain and lose weight all the time - I'm sure your look fine.

Are you having confidence issues with your body? If so, men can feel that and sometimes they just follow your vibe. Men who cheat on their wives a lot of times cheat with someone fatter and uglier than what they've got at home. So, start thinking about yourself as "hot" and he will too...

2007-05-18 13:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by sugar 2 · 0 0

Okay! You are a normal size. And your husband is just jealous over the karaoke thing. So tell him to do it with you. Maybe he will lay off once he knows that everyone who watches you knows you are happily married.

2007-05-18 13:24:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

A nice guy doesn't say things like that. If he doesn't like the way you look then why are you with each other? Ditch the looser and find a guy who will appreciate you. A real man will love you no matter how much you change.

2007-05-18 13:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 1 1

ok, i just seen your pic. not trying to sound weird or anything, but you dont look bad to me. maby he is jealous of other guys looking at you? maby start saying rude thing to him, like when he is making rude comments about you, walk by him, stop, sniff the air, and say whats that awful smell? oh, you must not have showered today. or oh, you opened your mouth. that might actually shut him up. good luck to you.

2007-05-18 13:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by NONAME 3 · 2 0

I'd dump you. Just in this one post, you've put out so many red flags that I can't see you as possible marriage material. If he's looking for something serious, tell him I said, "dump you".

Oh crap! He already married you. That sucks.

2007-05-18 13:20:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

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