I"ve been married for 4 years and i have 3 kids which only the youngest is with my husband. My husband has repeatedly hurt me with lies and disseat over the years. A couple of years ago I found out he cheated while I was pregnant. I dont know if he has done it again but I do know he still lies and flirts with women. I have forgivin him for these kinds of actions over a dozen times. 3 weeks ago, I found out about the last lie he told about talking a woman on his cell, I broke up with him. We still live in the house but differnt rooms. I started talking to another guy then and now we are crazy about each other. But my husband is miserable and keeps begging me to be back with him. He doesnt really know about the other guy. However, the other guy wants me to leave my husband for good and be with him. He says he will take care of me and I wont have to worry. He has a very well paying job and two kids of his own the he takes care of. I love my husband and i love my boyfriend. What to do?
2007-05-18 11:44:37 · 38 answers · asked by mrskyesha 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WHy is your husband miserable. Is he truly sorry for the hurt he put on you, or is he just trying to keep from getting divorced?
My personal opinion is give him a Last Chance Offer. You lay out what is expected of him, to the letter of what he must do. If he violates any of them, file for divorce, as he cannot keep his pecker in his pants
2007-05-18 12:44:39 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce, and then stay away from men until you grow up, and make your husband do the same with women. You two not only never should have gotten married, you shouldn't even be in relationships. Are you familiar with the Bon Jovi song, "You Give Love A Bad Name?" It seems to describe you and your husband perfectly.
Neither of you takes relationships seriously, so why bother? Why involve other people in your shallow concept of commitment? Neither of you seems the least bit trustworthy and are probably much better off single. The fact that you've been "talking to" this guy for less than three weeks and now you can't choose between him and your husband says it all.
2007-05-18 12:01:29 · answer #2 · answered by Judgie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to start by saying that I think your husband had what was coming to him, but two wrongs dont make a right. if your still married to him and love him, why are you with this other guy? if you know your husband has done you dirty and has lied to you numerous times,why dont you just leave? because you love him is not a good reason to stay with someone that was doing this to you. sometimes you just have to know when enough is enough and say " I love you, but this is not working out" you cant stay in a relationship when your married and at the same time seeing another man. if you know things wont change with your husband and you love this other guy, just tell your husband and go with this guy. you cant keep this going the way it is forever..at some point your gonna have to make a choice..this guy you are seeing..he might be patient now, and if you know things are sour with you and your husband whos to say that your boyfriend wont get tired of waiting..and theres your chance with a guy that you might have been really happy with. its ok to love your husband, but if you are seeing someone else and love this person, you cant love your husband too much. you should talk with your husband and let him know something and make a choice its fair for the both of you and to this other guy.
2007-05-18 12:13:41 · answer #3 · answered by luvleebabygurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I think this is weird. How do you break up with your husband? You don't make the situation any better by going outside the relationship. You decided to stay after you found out about the lies, so you knew what kind of man you chose. You need to stop seeing that other man. Decide if you are going to stay in this marriage or leave. If you stay, make sure he has shown you that he has changed, if he does not show you, or he starts out good and goes back to his ways, then it's time to leave. I don't think you should be dating at all if you leave. Your priority should be on raising your kids and making sure your ex-husband spends time with them. You have made a bad situation worse.
2007-05-18 12:01:17 · answer #4 · answered by terrysupreme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you're "crazy" about this other guy, or is it just because you are having problems w/your husband. If you love your husband, why not go to counseling and see if you can get things worked out. If you find that your heart isn't in it or that it's too much work then it's time to move on. However, I would have serious reservations about jumping into another relationship right away w/your "boyfriend". How long have you known him?
2007-05-18 11:52:08 · answer #5 · answered by IceIt71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to follow your heart. Your husband is never gonna change once a cheater always a cheater. Dont put up with his lies any more. Get out of the relationship and find someone who is going to respect you for you honey adn who isnt going to lie to you and hurt you. Move out with the kids nad slap him with divorce papers. Who cares if he is miserable look at all the hurt that he has put you through the last 4 years believe me in the long run its for the better.
2007-05-18 11:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by superthunda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you understand the concept of marriage. Do you understand the concept of Vows. Even though your husband cheated on you many times, you just should have left him. Now you've involved another man and his kids and your kids and exposing them to this nonsense that you know is gonna scar them in the future. You guys are gonna be together or your not, stop playing these games. Think about the kids and how this is and will affect them. Get it right.
2007-05-18 12:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by DEREK B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not want either one of them. Both of them are cheating. Your husband is a cheat and your boyfriend is cheating by seeing a married woman.
If you leave your husband, then you need to step back a while before getting involved with anyone else.
2007-05-18 11:49:59 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the marriage, and don't get into the relationship with the boyfriend yet. You have some growing up to do, and it's time you do it. You have 3 kids to think about. And I'm not talking about someone to pay your way. You need to get out, get a job, and do some serious growing up, and stop running from man to man to make your life good. Do it for yourself.
2007-05-18 12:00:51 · answer #9 · answered by Midnight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YO, You both be cheating, clean up your act, put children first,
quit putting out to both of them, Find out which one cares for you, an children.
Boy friend now going with married woman, this should tell you some thing about him, so if you choose him an later
you find out he seeing another woman, dont be disapointed,
You know what type person he is now.
2007-05-18 12:00:48 · answer #10 · answered by fred f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋