I have an asian boyfriend and he is scared of showing me to his parents. He wants to show me but he is scared of this parents disowning him. I don't understand this. He is a tradional chinese male who was raised in China until he was 16. Would someone please explain this and what might the family do to show me that they don't like me?
2007-05-18 11:11:03 · 15 answers · asked by KallieW 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
I feel for your boyfriend. I'm Asian and I had a black boyfriend one time. Some of my family (mostly the older generation) didn't like me dating a black person. It's not you. His parents are raised in the old ways. If he cares about you, it shouldn't matter on what his parents thinks about your relationships. :)
2007-05-18 11:18:14 · answer #1 · answered by Rommie 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Like most Asian cultures, there is enormous pressure on the sons to maintain the purity of the bloodline. I saw this in the Japanese, the Laotioans and the Vietnamese, even to some degree in the most westernized country in Asia, the Philippines. One of the most beautiful women I ever dated was from an upperclass chinese woman. She never dared let me meet her parents!
What would likely happen would be a scene where the parents stood silent with a look of shock and rage. They wouldn't speak to you directly, only to him in Chinese then rudely walk out. Trust me, you don't want that experience.
2007-05-24 16:37:38 · answer #2 · answered by morgan j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I come from a very strict Asian (Indian) family and my family would also disown me if I brought anyone home outside my race or religion. You are raised from a very young age to stick to your own people and spread your cultural tradition to future generations. Just think of it this way, imagine a family history for hundreds of years that didn't mix and mingle. A son is highly valued in Asian society, and is basically a seed for the future. It is a very big risk to allow the child to "mess up" the family legacy. They probably worked their *** off to bring their son to the United States, for more opportunities. If they wanted to loose their cultural and moral beliefs, they would never of left China. It is the sad truth, but t'is is life.
2007-05-18 11:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by kamaljots1985 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, you could be Chinese and the mother may still be a little critical so don't take it personally. And if the family is wealthy I find they will be even more picky ( although this would not be a uniquely chinese issue).
Have your BF read my post. " get some balls and standup for your babe"
If you want to grease the first meeting, learn a few mandarin words and bring a fruit basket or gift.
2007-05-23 18:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by klixmaster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be blunt with you: Even Asian women from upper class and very respectful families have a hard enough time gaining respect and total acceptance from their in laws. That's why I stay away from those families! It will be their losses. I wish you best of luck but if things doesn't work out, I want to say you've been spared from a life of miseries and mental tortures!
2007-05-25 21:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by Arie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I was kind of dating a japanese guy in college but ended up parting ways because he was so brutal about my weight. It really hurt my feelings, and I ended up breaking things off because I thought he was very insensitive and I was only 135 pounds at the time, and I lost weight afterward. He asked his parents what they would do if he brought me home and they said they would accept me for who I was. Too bad I was too self conscious about my thighs to continue dating their son.
2015-07-04 05:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jane Doe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as The human being should treat the person as human and ignore the cast, creed color. As u are Asian girl u should please the parent of boy by adopting the customs of Chinese,as The way of respecting the older, way of dinning,the food as liked in china.In this way u can create love for u in the minds of his parents and ultimately th heart of your beloved.
2007-05-18 19:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by mateen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my white irish friend went out with a chinese guy a few years ago and his dad was furious for him going out with a causian!i guess racism isnt always whites picking on others but goes both ways.what goes round comes round.
2007-05-25 10:32:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont know..i date asian guys but it depends on the family. i have several friends that have asian dads and black moms...guess ppl have to get over race **** eventually
2007-05-19 00:14:01 · answer #9 · answered by Gone, Gone, Gone. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in the same situation as you, my boyfriend is half black half asian and i am half asian half white....
i dont get what the big deal is because we are both asian but i guess some things will never change.....
if u do meet them, just be really kind and accept their culture and they will hopefully welcome u
2007-05-18 11:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by miss music 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋