how do you make yourself love someone?

Question

theres a guy i like and he would be perfect for me except i am not physically attracted to him, how can i learn to look past this?

Answer 1

Easy, look past him to someone else with the same qualities and that you are attracted to.

You can't make yourself love someone, and won't be happy long term even if you manage to fool yourself in the short term.

Answer 2

You can't make yourself love somebody.

However, I do understand where you're coming from. Let me see if I got this right: You like this guy, he has a great personality, and you think he would be an amazing boyfriend, but yet his physical appearance is holding you back from actually becoming involved with him.

Am I right? Hope so. If that's the case, I'd say to make a list of all of his good qualities, and then a list of his bad. If his good qualities outweigh his bad qualities, you might as well give it a chance.

The only way to really get past it is by going out with the guy and seeing what he's about. But never try to force yourself to love someone. If it's meant to be, it will be.

Answer 3

Love is never a learned trait, it happens naturally, including physical attraction. If you like someone in every other way except physically, and would like to think they are perfect for you, may be you need to understand that you will be doing immense injustice to the other person here. Just be good friends with each other. A relationship that is not physically satisfying could lead to a lot of heartache to both of you.

Answer 4

Dude, I think you're heading for great personal disaster. You don't mention whether there is mutual interest or attraction. But there are some things that need to temper your approach.

First of all, would you be perfect for him? He has standards, too, as well as a right to be reasonably happy.

Secondly, what if you nail him and he turns out to be a monster and steals 10 years from you and leaves you a bitter husk of a human being? Not exactly unheard of in the gay world.

Thirdly, what if he falls for you and commits,but you can't past your physcial aversion? Is that fair to him?

Be careful when you court other human beings. It's not quite the same and trading your car in on the next Honda Civic. If there's no mutuality in the attraction, that's a bad sign.

Answer 5

Be good friends with him and don't try to force things. If you're not attracted, you're not attracted, and you can't change that, but there's no reason to lose a friend, a person you like, just because you're not sexually attracted to him.

And who knows, if you work on the friendship part of it, an attraction may develop on its own.

Answer 6

So why can't you just "like" him for now? Are you putting yourself on a schedule? Relax, smell the flowers. Life can be so much fun if you give yourself time to enjoy all it's gifts. Be cool, it isn't all drama.

Answer 7

i am sorry but by experience i can tell you that, though the physical attraction is not everything, it does help in times of trouble, so you can not force yourself to love anyone. it it doesn't come natural, eventually the relationship flounders.

Answer 8

You should try to find other traits you like about him and focus on those instead of on physical ones. Who knows in time you might fall for him, but looks does mean alot in a sociaty these days...maybe you can try to change his clothing style to your taste.

Answer 9

Be his friend. If someday 'like' turns to 'love' his physical attractiveness may not matter to you so much.

Answer 10

Love cant be forced and even if u force it eventually its gonna crash. So just follow your heart and love who ur heart tells u to love not your head. Good Luck