My best friend for over 5 years has always been there for me through alot of tough times. But my problem is she always wants to be with me everyday. When I got married she thought she wouldn't see me no more. Now whenever I mention I am going out with another friend or that I just got off the phone with someone she starts with her typical "oh your new best friend" or "what you gonna hang with her today instead of me" How can I say something to her without losing a friend?
2007-05-18 10:35:38 · 12 answers · asked by Melissa H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Ask her why she's so insecure about your friendship after you've been best friends for 5 years.
2007-05-18 10:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Alice K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems insecure. There is a structure of confrontation that might be good here.
1. Affirm the relationship. Let he know you like her and that you don't want anything to come between you two as friends.
2. Discuss issue and how you feel about it.
3. Discuss solutions. Get her input too and try to agree on a few ideas.
4. Agree on one idea to start right now and initiate by saying "ok, starting now . . . "
5. Reconfirm the relationship and remind her you still like her. Maybe even give her a hug.
2007-05-18 17:47:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH man, she is starting to lose focas, she is thinking 'me' instead of 'we' or 'you' as a true friend does.
It's a hard place, maybe she doesn't have any frineds, her aditude is not a good one. From what you have said.
She can't be the one who leads your life..your married for goodness sakes, you have things to do, and stress about friends that are driveing you nuts everyday is not something you want to drag about for ever. Just pull her aside, and be nice and talk, two way, not one way, about it..do it so it's not a reprimand, perhaps a 'what do you want me to do?' start in, get her to think some. If she is a good person (or resonable at least) underneath then she will grumble perhaps, and back off, if she refuses to see...she is in a bad spot for a 'fix' and she may have changed from who you know. friends care about their friends, not themselves only.
Much Luck =|
Reft
2007-05-18 17:44:16 · answer #3 · answered by Reft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first sweetie you're a married woman, My bestfriend recently got married and i know my boudaries... Your friend sounds as if she is stuck in the 'High School Zone', and that zone is when a person just can't let go of the old days... if she's truly your best friend when you talk to her she'll totally understand, but at the same time tale heed to what was said... Good Luck sweetie, and don't be nervous, she's your bbf... she'll be cool...
2007-05-18 17:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by Zee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend is like that too... I just tell her... even though im married, have a kid and cant go out as much... dosent mean that we cant hang out. And she used to do the whole oh your new best friend thing...i just told her to get over it... she knows that she is my best friend and that she isnt being replaced by someone else... and she realized how she was being...
basically what im saying is... if you tell her how it is or tell her how you feel... she can take it... shes your best friend... and if she gets mad and isnt your friend... then she wasnt much of a friend to begin with
2007-05-18 17:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by ☼ImmaStar☼ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she feels abandoned. She obviously has some issues with her self-esteem. Gently let her know that you need a little space to be with other friends and your wife. Say something like "I completely value your friendship and always want you in my life, but I'm married now and have different priorities that need to be taken care of." Good luck.
2007-05-18 17:40:09 · answer #6 · answered by Doodoodoodler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have one of those also, and I don't give her an explanation about what I'm doiing just that I am not available. Say "Sorry but I can't meet with you tommorow as I have something I have to do" if she ask what? and it sounds as if she will, just say "it's personal". Eventually she will get the message. Mine did. Actually I have a few of those type of friends, and that is what I do.
2007-05-18 17:42:22 · answer #7 · answered by sissytwo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you give her alone time and you should be able to give your other friends alone time as well. IF she can not respect your wishes and give you some space then maybe it is time that you guys part your ways for a while. All friends need to take a break from each other.
2007-05-18 17:40:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly what you just wrote. Well, not exactly but. It's like this. The next time she says (oh your new best friend) say no you're my best friend, you have been for five years. Please realize that it hurts my feelings when you are constantly insecure and jealous. Just tell her how you're feeling I suppose.
2007-05-18 17:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let her control you whit revers psycology, but play hard to get like your not intereted, play the "game she sead" tell her that if she cant live her life that you can help her, you can tell her that you wont let her go ever for no other person that she does not trust, But remember you shud trust her over every thing, and that nothing can come bethiene you two!!!!!!\
TuNE
2007-05-18 17:49:16 · answer #10 · answered by TuNE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋