HELP! Torn.?

Question

I feel torn, please help! Complicated!?
My mom and my aunts and uncles are fighting over inheritance and stuff that happened years ago. The three of them of the four get along good but my mom is sueing them over dumb issues and instigating things. I love my aunts uncles and cousins and want to continue a relationship with them and I don't see why not becasue they are nice to me too. They are acting mature about it all. My uncle invited me to his wedding and my mom got wind of it and is trying to guilt me out of going. Shouldn't that be her dispute with them and I should not be a part of it? I am 29. My Aunts and Uncles treat me like an adult and keep me out of it, mom does not. What should I do?

Answer 1

Cut the apron strings. Mom is trying to pressure you into supporting her position even though it seems clear you do not. Tell her to leave you out of her business and go to the wedding. If she chooses to make life difficult for others she should have to deal with that on her own, not allow you to be punished for her actions.

Answer 2

Yes, this is complicated. No one can hurt each other more than family. You need to be honest with aunts and uncles and tell them you love them, tell tham you don't agree with what your mom is doing, and thank them for being mature and for still including you in invitations, etc. You also have to consider what your Mom feels and what she is going to do when she doesn't want you to go and you do anyway. (My mom would spazz and make sure I regret it.) Can you talk to your mother as an adult to an adult? DO NOT TELL HER SHE'S WRONG. If she can, she'll figure that out for herself, hopefully. If she is not able to accept and see what she is doing, then your telling her will not do any good. Instead, I would pick a good time and just discuss with her that since you are 29, and you want to go to an event involving family that she's mad at right now, that doesn't mean that you don't love her and respect her. Promise her that you will not talk about her in any way except to say "Mom's fine and how are you?" Promise not to talk about the inheritance or anything else she doesn't want you to say. In the end, it is your decision, but make the attempt to help your mom live with it. Either that, or just be sneaky and keep it all a secret! What she doesn't know, she can't be mad about! Good luck!

Answer 3

First, go to the wedding. Talk to mom before hand, calmly eye to eye, and gently explain you understand that she is in the prcess of a dispute with these people but they are still your family and you would like to be able to spend time with them without jeopardizing your relationship with her, and that you would like to not have keep secrets from her about the time you spend with your aunts and uncles. Hopefully she will be understanding, if not you may want to think about the type of issues Mom is having in her life right now. Still go to the wedding you are an adult. Do not throw away your family relationships over someone elses issues.

Answer 4

Talk to your mom. Don't say what you have said here. You know that your aunts and uncles treat you like an adult because then she will think that you are taking their side. I would simply say something along these lines: Mom this issue is something that really doesn't concern me. I don't want the problem you are having with your brothers and sisters to affect me. My relationship with the family should not depend on your status with them. it really hurts me, stresses me out, and concerns me that you keep dragging me into all of this. I want to play my part in this family and that is why I have chosen to go to the wedding.

If you want to be more serious than you can, it is all in how your relationship with your mom is and what waters you want to travel into. She is acting immature and needs to realize just because she is having family issues doesn't mean you should have to suffer from them or be drug into them.

Hope some of this helps. Just talk to her in a calm manner and be an adult about everything and I think if she is reasonable than she will understand and apologize.

Answer 5

This is their issue not yours. Talk to your mom. Tell her how this is making you feel. Be open with her about what you are feeling and tell her you would like to stay out of something that really doesn't concern you becuz it's not your inheritance to fight over. Hopefully she'll see your point of view. Also money clouds the issue so try to help her see what is more important...money or the family that money can't buy.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Talk to your mom about how you feel about it. Seems like she is trying to look out for both yours and her inheritance. She is not looking at it as tearing the family apart. Ask her to leave you out of it. And hope that she sees you asking her out of love for her and the rest of the family that you want to be left out. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

you are an adult. your mother is acting like a child, using you as a pawn. you are 29. you know what the right thing to do is so just do it. just because your mother is your mother doesn't mean you have to do what she tells you to do, especially at 29.

Answer 8

Talk to your mom. And talk to your uncles and aunts.

Answer 9

U KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS ALREADY, TELL UR MOM THAT WHAT GOES ON BETWEENTHEM IS THERE BUISNESS NOT URS AND U TREASURE FAMILY MORE THAN MONEY.

Answer 10

depends on who's more likely to win that inheritance fight :)