I am 33 and have been divorced for 6 years. I haven't had any serious relationships since my marriage. When on one or two dates years ago, but nothing serious. I had a tough divorce that came to me completely out of the blue. My ex-wife got pregnant by her then secret boyfriend.
I have two kids that I am raising with my ex. daughter 12 and son 11. I am always busy at work (50 hours a week and spend all my time off with my kids.
Between my work and kids, I really don't have time for anything else right now. I am the kind of person that can get really involved in a relationship easily, but I don't want to risk myself financially or emotionally until my kids are off into college.
I have also decided that I no longer want anymore children. I love my kids, but I want to move on with my life when they grow up and not be starting over again with more in my 40's and 50s.
I am really happy where I am now. Why cant my family and friends understand that?
2007-05-18 08:52:58 · 9 answers · asked by bjmarchini 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You sound like a good man to me.
2007-05-18 08:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People judge you by their own normative standards...that is to say that they assume you want the same as them, or that you want what "society" wants as a general whole.
Supposedly what we "want" is a partner, kids, the whole shebang, obviosuly this isn't for you right now, and may never be. Either ask them to leave you alone and explain that you're happy and fulfilled the way you are, or (if this is not the case and you do wish for a girl) make the time in your life for a girlfriend.
You seem to not want to go out looking for love, and that's cool. It just takes time for people to get that you're "okay" and independant.
2007-05-18 15:57:51 · answer #2 · answered by Sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They just care about you. And they want the best for you that is all, as hard as it seems, they only want the best for you.
Why don't you sit down and tell them all that you told us, you have your head on your shoulders, and you know what you want in life, and that is perfecticaly normal!!
Your children sound very happy with the life you are and have given them, they are not complaining and neither are you.
Just concentrate on your life and your children's life and do not take it to heart what other people think.
If it really bothers you, then talk to your family members calmly and have them understand.
2007-05-18 16:03:26 · answer #3 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, the world loves people in pairs. But he who travels farthest travels alone...
All you can do is smile sweetly and say, "Right now I'm more concerned with raising my kids than trying the dating scene. When I'm ready to get back in the pool, I'll let you know - but right now the kids come first."
Keep repeating that answer until it becomes a mantra.
It's also the truth.
You're a catch.
2007-05-18 16:00:48 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Society believes that all humans must be paired up at all times. When you don't fit societal norms, people begin to worry,
However, if you are happy with the life you lead and you aren't harming anyone, then to each his own.
2007-05-18 16:01:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo, my dad didn't start dating again until his 50's he is happy has a girlfriend and everything is peachy. I would stay focused like you are and when the kids ship out daddy can play.
2007-05-18 15:56:42 · answer #6 · answered by Derek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like you have a head on your shoulders and are mature in your approach of how you want your life and have your priorities in order, if you're happy with how things are now then politely tell your friends& family that youre happy with it and if they cant understand it then thats their problem its your life youre the one who has to live it not them.....
2007-05-19 10:26:01 · answer #7 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very mature and like you know what you want, thats good. Just plain out tell them exactly what you wrote if they don't get it, then what can you do, as long as your happy!
2007-05-18 15:58:41 · answer #8 · answered by NY Yanks Girrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people cant stand to see other people happy doing their thing....especially a single parent.....they like two ppl not one....you live for you and your kids and forget what anyone else has to say....in a very polite and tactful way.....tell them to shut the hell up and leave you alone.....good luck
2007-05-18 16:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋