need advice please help !!!?

Question

hi
iam in the first stages of divorce, as i filed not because i really wanted a divorce from my wife but after a severe fight with my wife , i think out of spite my wife took of with our child the next day, and then for 3 weeks i tried to talk to her but she would just hang up and blame me for eveything, even my inlaws told me not to call there as she went to live with them, so then after getting no part from my wife as to making it better, i went and filed for divorce and custody. so now i still want to reconcile and try to fix things before the court hearing but now my wife wants no part of making it work, as i have called her and ask her to recocncile and she said NO, now she wants a divorce.
what can i do?? i really do not want a divorce and if she love me and want our marriage then why is she just using the blame game and telling me that since i filed now i have to live with it, as she does not want any reconcilattion. is there anything i can do or say to her to get her to try

Answer 1

Sorry dude, at this point try to take the high road, be civil with your wife, and do things that are in the best interest of your child.

You and your wife can work this out or throw tons of money to the blood sucking lawyers.....

Your choice...

Answer 2

Honestly, there is nothing you can do. If she has made it clear that she doesn't want to reconcile. That is your answer, straight forward, end of conversation. I know you want to make it work but you can't work on it alone. Just let it go. I'm sorry that you are going through such a painful divorce but that is the way it goes when you make such a drastic decision. That is why so many people will tell you to think about it before you do such a thing. Don't be quick on filing for divorce without trying to work on it first. See why you are told that! For the simple reason of what you are going through now. Now you want to fix things, well it is obvious your wife it not going to give you the time of day. Let it go and move on! I'm sorry but it is for the best. Whatever you do, do not put your child through all the drama b/c in the end, the child is the one who suffers the most!

Answer 3

Well did she counter file for divorce? If not you can withdraw your plea for divorce and force her to do that. Honestly in these situations when people are upset and hurt the best thing you can do is be calm and not impulsive. However that rarely happens and it only leads to more and more problems and hurt. At the minimum keep the childs BEST interest at heart PLEASE!!!! The child deserves both parents so many parents use the child to get at the other spouse. I've been there IT SUCKS!

Answer 4

If you don't want a divorce, then why file? Don't get caught up in "lets' see who can hurt each other the best". That's a serious game, and one will tend to want to save face, not admitting their mistakes, and things blow up IN their face. You don't want to divorce her, then don't. Make her work for one, if that's what SHE wants. 'Cuz if that's not what's in your heart, then you don't want to say "what if...I wish I didn't...why didn't I..." Above all else, listen to your inner self, what does it tell you to do. Our spirits know what's best for us, but sometimes we don't listen, we'd rather ask the opinions of those outside ourselves who don't know the first thing about us, let alone what's good FOR US. She needs time to simmer down and think clearly about what she wants to do, unless she already did and you gave her a reason to say "see, it's not me, it's you and now I'm through", if that's the case, it sounds like another guy, or girl. Hang in there, whatever happens, you still have yourself, who should be your best friend, and your daughter, who should be the love of your life.

Answer 5

Youre in trouble here. A marriage can be saved but only if both prties want the same outcome and are willing to do whatever it takes to save it. I dont see that happening here. For whatever reason shes blaming you for the divorce, probably to save face with her parents. Alot of couples get remarried again after they divorce so theres always hope but as long as she stays at her parents, they will surely influence her on this. Her parents are going to be your worst nightmare in dealing with this and unless you can find some way of getting them out of this picture, youre going to lose. Now in court, chances are she will get custody of the kids with support but you will get state mandated visitation rights that will be enforced by the courts. She will eventually challenge you on these visits with her parents but dont be afraid to take them back to court if you need to. Try to stay as friendly with your wife thru this for the kid sake. Sorry and good luck

Answer 6

Maybe you can cancel or stop the paperwork. And tell her if she wants a divorce she will have to file. What did you fight about? Does she have a good reason for leaving?

Answer 7

You asked her to reconcile, she said NO. What more to you need to hear. I'm sorry my friend. Nobody thinks they will get divorced. If they did nobody would ever get married. It's sad and difficult to go through but you'll get through it. Focus on being a good Dad. That's what's most important.

Answer 8

It sounds like to me that she doesn't want to be with you any longer and that you just did the hard part and filed for divorce for her. She probably would have filed sooner or later.

Answer 9

You are pushing it. You can't make her feel the same way you do. She's making it clear that she wants a divorce. Let it go! In time she will soften up and maybe you will be friends again. But today, it is what it is!

Answer 10

It sounds like she is cheating and was waiting for the fight to happen so she could blame the split on you.. Always remember when you're dealing with a woman they are sly like the devil.. Remember what Eve did to Adam?