Im a 28 year old female. I am always scared to have sex with guys, I really care about the guy Im seeing but whenever he starts getting close to have sex, i get really scared and it takes me a while to give in. Usually it works better if Im drunk, but I cant really get hammered just to have sex with him! Anyone with the same thing? or any idea whats going on? It's really bugging me and when after we have sex all I keep thinking is there's smthg wrong with me. Thanks
2007-05-18 07:59:18 · 8 answers · asked by a a 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
There is nothing wrong with you. You may just not be ready to be that close with someone. If you feel that it is interrupting your everyday life, you can always talk to a doc about it and they can give you the steps to help overcome the anxiety you are feeling. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-05-18 08:03:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you. Some people like it and some dont. I cant share the same feeling as you cause I love it..but It does work way better when I am drunk, cause alcholo can help with pain and also with your behavior....Taking a while to give in is not a bad things, on the contrary it should be part of the game...... I think that you should experience things on your own, read books, look at magazines, or videos, and things like that,...maybe a toy...eventually and hoefully you will start liking it..Also when you find a permamnte partner you will like it more
2007-05-18 15:05:34 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not "something wrong" with you. You have some sort of issue, or maybe more than one issue, but whatever it is... it's a response to something. Yes, there are many other people in your position.
I'm not suggesting this, but letting you know... women with sexual problems like this sometimes have histories of some sort of sexual abuse or at least sexual incidents during childhood that makes them currently uncomfortable around the issue. If anything like this happened to you, you would likely benefit from talking to someone professionally about it.
Otherwise, sex therapists can accomplish a lot of things when it comes to sexual anxiety or avoidance. Something is making you uncomfortable, and I'm quite certain it can be overcome. You might need to dig deeper though into your conscious/unconscious, and mental health professionals can help.
Yours is a problem that is more common than you think.
2007-05-18 15:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about taking it really really slow. Set some ground rules so that you are in complete control of where the evening goes and how far. Make it a rule that your bf is not allowed to ask for more or try to move things along himself. Then give him the task of nice, long extended foreplay until you are aroused to the point that you want things to progress further and are no longer afraid. I think if you did that a few times you might begin to lose some of your fears.
2007-05-18 15:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by Clawndike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly are you scared of? That he'll hurt you? Or leave you? Or be unsatisfied? Or that you'll be unsatisfied?
You should see a sex therapist, who can ask all of these questions, and get to the root of what's really bothering you.
2007-05-18 15:03:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course wrong!
Having sex before marriage is a biggest wrong in the life.
Marry, thin think about it.
2007-05-18 15:08:08 · answer #6 · answered by Zejmi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Something happened to you as a child or in your life. Try to think back. It made you uncomfortable.
2007-05-18 16:27:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its guilt, because sex outside of marriage is a sin according to the bible.
2007-05-18 15:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋