We've been married for over 20 years we watch porn together and she likes girl girl, we may go there and just watch, dose any have an opinion on this matter or have a similar experience.
2007-05-18 07:48:51 · 19 answers · asked by garrett 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A first visit to a swingers club - like any new experience can be daunting. Typical feelings include excitement, a fear of the unknown and worries about sexual adequacy or appearance.
These feelings are completely normal, we all experience them to some degree and even experienced swingers may experience these feelings when visitng a new club. The good news is: the swingers community is very friendly, forgiving and open.
The first step you'll need to take is deciding on the type of club you would like to visit. There are may different "specialty" clubs, but in the mainstream swinging community, the clubs fall into two categories:
* On Premise Clubs
* Off Premises Clubs
The difference between the two is that an on-premises club provides areas specifically set aside for sexual play, while an off-premises club does not.
Locating A Club
There many methods available to finding the specific club you would like to visit. The best method is a recommendation from friends, but if you are like us, you don't know any swingers, and that is one reason you would like to visit a club!
If so, the simplest way to locate a club in your area is probably via the internet, in fact, The Swinger Source (http://www.theswingersource.com)has a state-by-state listing available. Another method is to purchase a "lifestyle-oriented" magazine such as Lifestyle Magazine, they typically provide a list of clubs as well.
Once you have decided on a club, visit their website if they have one, and take a look around, most sites at a minimum list their hours, special events and contact information.
Make use of the contact information provided. Contact the club management to verify the hours, events, membership and door fees, etc.
The Big Moment
What should you wear?
The answer to this depends on several factors. In general, wear what you would wear on a first date to a night club. No excessively baggy or torn jeans, no tee-shirts, leave your baseball cap at home. Ladies, this is your chance to break out that super-sexy little black dress and sexy new shoes you've been wanting to wear!
If the club is having a special event that night, consider taking part! Most special events involve a theme ranging from toga parties, to wet tee-shirt contests, to hot schoolgirl night. These are great ice-brakers and I truly encourage you to take part.
Many people bring a change of "play clothes" that they change into when the mood hits.
What should we bring?
Most clubs are BYOB, so be sure to bring your favorite beverage. In general your hosts will provide you with finger foods, sodas and snacks.
You should definitely bring an "essentials kit" with you, if you need some ideas for what to include in this kit, please read through our article on creating the perfect essentials kit.
Most clubs provide lockers for your personal belongings, and I recommend that you bring your own combination padlock although some clubs will loan or rent you one.
What should we say?
Remember, the people you meet at this club will likely surprise you by how open and friendly they are. so say "Hello!".
People have many approaches to starting a conversation in a club, my personal method is to shake hands and introduce myself and my wife. I've had people walk up to me and say everything from "Hi, what are you looking for?' to "Do you have a tatoo?" (during a scavenger hunt event).
What you say isn't nearly as important as how you say it, and your body language when you say it!
Smile! If you want someone to approach you, look friendly and like you are having fun.
What should we do?
The short answer to this is: whatever you and your partner are comfortable with.
Chances are, on your first visit to a club, you will feel somewhat intimidated. When my wife and I visited the first time, we spent most of our time asking questions about etiquette, rules, and who was who. If you decide to play, be sure you stay within your rules, and have fun!
Typically when you visit a club for the first time, the club management will have either a staff member or a trusted club member show you around. This is a great opportunity to find out about the rules of that particular club, what the etiquette of the rooms is, who you should get in touch with regarding any questions or concerns you may have and where to go.
Conclusion
Visiting a swingers club is a wonderful way to spice up a relationship - even if you only play with your partner.
Approach it with a non-judgemental attitude and no expectations and you wil have a great time.
If you make the effort to be presentable, open, friendly and happy, you will make great, lifelong friends, and that makes the visit worthwhile in itself.
2007-05-20 02:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by northindycpl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. Don't go to the the Club without each other, stay together once at the Club, everything you do, do as a couple; don't sneak off with someone else. Rules of behavior should be strictly established and followed before you ever even enter the Club. You and your wife have to talk all scenarios through and come to decisions on what she feels comfortable allowing you to do and what you feel comfortable allowing her to do. Imagine it in your mind and if you can't handle it, it's best not to attempt that behavior. I believe you have to keep your sex life interesting and fresh. Try new and exciting things as long as nobody is forced into something and no one is physically abused in the process. Have fun and be very "tuned into" your wife's responses (even more so than usual).
2007-05-18 09:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH Garrett , be vewy, vewy careful!
Just finally moved on from a similar situation. My ex and I, of
19 years great marriage, watched porno together like you.
We never introduced anyone else into the situation. He was the one that always liked to view 2 women together or a man
and 2 women. Well, seems since it wasn't communicated well that he might like that in the marriage, he sought it out secretly. I discovered that for 2 years he had been seeing someone that would do that. As it became something he pursued more and I was getting close to finding it out, he left.
He couldn't be truthfull about the situation and we divorced.
It's been a year and 6 months now. I understand he is extremely unhappy, has lost alot of business and is trying to contact me.
Just really communicate and make sure this is really what both of you want and what the cost could be!
2007-05-18 08:10:41 · answer #3 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are so many swingers out there you don't need too much in that department, even web pages like this has some, go figure.. The rest of your matter is this,, when it happens cause it will Whether you/both are willing is up to you both, in any event it is like having a sweetheart on the side, swing or no swing.You so lucky that your mate is getting you in with this click, so go figure... In the end no one on this forum will have to fix any broken links if so be it, just you too.And your are getting this from someone who is married, and can go through ups and downs, but we'll have to come around to the facts of life, so go figure dude...
2016-05-22 09:04:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opening the door for strangers to come into your private, intimate, romantic, sexual experience will completely change you relationship with your wife. that change is not a good one. It will slowly separate you both and take the sweet privateness and romance out of the bedroom for sure. Plus you will put your marriage in a situation where jealously although it seems fun now, and you think you wont be... it will be in the back of your mind. TRUST ME it wont be what you think.
2007-05-18 08:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you here for approval or recruiting? Different strokes for different folks.
There was a great movie around 1980 called Being There, by Peter Sellers. Seller's main line: I want to watch!!
2007-05-18 07:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agreed with the first answer. You guys are weirdos and if you truely love and value your wife you will not do this and as for your wife she needs to take a look inside herself and get over the homosexual fantasies. This is sick and wrong and daming. Repent and turn to the Lord.
2007-05-18 07:57:01 · answer #7 · answered by brodofett17 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Be VERY open and honest. Talk about ALL scenerios especially what role you'll be playing and if she wants you touching the other woman sexually and in which ways!!!!
Personally, I think different strokes, different folks. Just don't lie to yourself or each other.
2007-05-18 07:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you bothering us with this nonsense? Im sure there are swinger websites full of other dirty people waiting to talk to you.
2007-05-18 08:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Careful Garett, Satan is trying to hook you. The bible clearly states homosexuality is a hell bound sin ! Roman"s chapter 1 verses 26-29 !
2007-05-18 08:01:34 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋