Me and my wife don't see eye to eye on anything. I think separation would be the best for us.?

Question

She also wants to separate but I thinks she won't leave because life will probaly be harder. How do I get her to agree to separate without doing something ugly? At this point, Im tried and I just want to move on with my life without losing her as a friend.( if thats possible)

Answer 1

I think that you should go to counseling for couples. Something else that might be good for the both of you is a separation (not a divorce). Live in separate places for a while and see what comes of it. If she doesn't like the word separation by itself you could use trial separation instead. If you have any children (even if they are older) you owe it to them to try and work things out. my parents are going through the same thing, and things are working out for them.
I hope things work out for you and your Wife.

Answer 2

Why bother staying friends if you don't see eye to eye? I think that's just an excuse to gradually end something you both are bored of instead of cutting it off completely. If you both agree on the separation then you both should try it for awhile if that's how you really feel. But remember your not always going to see eye to eye with anyone. Maybe you need to spark the romance back into your marriage. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Sir, you are a fool. It's hardly surprising your wife has encouraged this arrangement. Your wife is planning to divorce you and adultery would make perfect grounds for her to take you to the cleaners. You stepped right into it. Believe me when you're in court she will deny that she ever agreed to let your new 'girlfriend' move in. I'll bet she will even claim that the reason she was forced to leave was because you moved this woman into your home. I doubt it would really matter even if she admitted to agreeing to it. All the judge will see is that you're living with another woman and it started before your wife left. That will be viewed as adultery in any judge's eyes. You will lose every penny you have when your wife divorces you. From a legal standpoint living with another woman at this time was the stupidest thing you could have done.

Answer 4

Sometimes, separation is the best thing. Often, it will bring you back together. If there are kids, it's more difficult and will change who they become as adults.

Tell her that you want to have a relationship with her, but it's time for some self-reflection...and make sure you do just that.

Answer 5

Wow. I've never seen so many dumb answers to a question.

I am not an expert in this area, but I do know this:

1) Our relationships with ourselves (our own happiness, self-esteem, self-respect, etc.) determine the success of any relationships we participate in.

2) People who are very different can ROUTINELY have loving relationships, providing they treat one-another with respect-- the romantic love comes and goes.

3) If you get to the point of total bitterness on the part of one or both people in the relationship, only a major intervention (counseling) and probably time apart will have any positive effect. Staying together just because you "told God you would" will not do any good to either of the individuals in the relationship.

4) If you miss this opportunity to address the underlying issues that you two have as individuals-- even if it doesn't save this marriage-- you are likely to repeat a very similar experience sometime in the future (time, wisdom & experience allowing).

Answer 6

First of all the two of you married each other and made life commitments to each other. Divorce should never enter the equation unless under the most extreme of circumstances.

Have you tried counseling yet? Have you talked with your local pastor yet? There are many avenues to take before divorce should even be considered. Are there kids involved? Either way marriage is NEVER over.

I urge the two of you to fight for your marriage. Statistics have proven that second, third, etc.. marriages have even a less of a chance of working.

Let me tell ya, no one is compatible and marriage isn't about love. Sure, love has something to do with it, but marriage is about making a commitment to one person and learning to live with that person through thick and thin. Years ago society decided it was OK to divorce, coming up with this "no-fault" divorce. That's a joke. Take about taking something sacred and dragging it through the mud. Now look at society, more than half of married couples are divorced, kids growing up with only one parent, the highest rate of juvenile delinquents ever, etc. etc.. Why do you want to be part of that majority?

There's this book called "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerich. It's a great book. My wife and I read it a few years after we got married and it made us understand each other greatly. We read it together, one chapter a night until we finished. Just that simple time together did wonders. Give it a try.

Answer 7

Before you take any drastic measures, try reading "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". The ideal would be for you both to read it... perhaps taking turns reading each chapter as you go.

It may be not so much you don't see eye-to-eye, as you aren't speaking the same language (seriously).

.....and whomever just gave this a thumbs down has never read the book nor has any understanding of male vs female psychology!

Answer 8

You are 2 different people, therefore you won't EVER see eye-to-eye on EVERYTHING. Just remember that your marriage vows were "until death do us part". It amazes me how few people take their marriage vows seriously in this day and age. It was a dark day indeed when some lawyer came up with the "no-fault" divorce. Just try harder to work out your differences (maybe even swallowing some pride and conceding to her view sometimes). I pray that you both make the right decision.

Answer 9

That's dumb. Why did you two get married in the first place? Marriage is NOT like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship back in High School. You both need to take marriage seriously & actually DO SOMETHING to save your marriage from falling apart. Just because you don't see "eye to eye", it does not mean you should give up on each other. Think about why you married her (through good times & bad times). You both took vows to help each other when things get sour. It sickens me to read about other married couples on here who divorce over the stupidest reasons. My advice to you is DON'T GET MARRIED IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT. Has anyone ever heard of "Hey! let's get a divorce & just be friends"? watch enough movies already? drama. You two have a huge LACK OF COMMUNICATION. Not seeing "eye to eye" is probably due to both of you miscommunication. GOOD LUCK on your divorce.

Answer 10

Just sit down and ask her. Since she was independent before you met her. She might not think life would be harder she might just feel as though you owe her something. Although you 2 could never be friends you can still respect each other. If you think seperation is best your probably right. However just don't think that doing something ugly will solve you 2 problems.