I have known this friend of mine that dates this guy who is abusive and I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her but in the meantime she is just getting hurt again. I need to know what to do.
2007-05-18 07:27:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wow. OK well you need to help her get out of it. tell her that you're worried about her and that you want to help her. Tell her that she needs to get out of this bad relationship before it gets worse. i would also tell an adult you could help you tell her if you need. the most important thing is to get your friend out of this situation and have her get some help. I hope this helps and tell your friend she has my support.
2007-05-18 11:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by beachchic08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, people won't listen to people that tell them what they already know.
Your friend's real problem is that she can not reconcile that she's in a bad relationship with the idea that she needs to be. This sounds like someone who needs to get some help for herself-- unfortunately, if you try to step in, you're likely to be regarded as the proverbial messenger and she will blame you in some way if you push to hard for her.
A measured approach: telling her how you feel and that it makes you sad to see her in this situation and take it from there.
In answer to the basic question: it's a "good" relationship when things are good more than 50% of the time. I wouldn't recommend settling for that, but don't ever expect a relationship to be 100% perfect-- otherwise, what would you have to look forward to?
2007-05-18 14:32:17 · answer #2 · answered by Fletcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard, be prepared to loose your friend. Tell her she is better than this abuse, but prepared for her to stay, until she is ready to leave. This may mean that she will become angry with you and stop speaking to you. Don't take this personally. If she asks for help to get a way from him, be prepared for her to go back to him. She has to be ready to leave, and she has to recognize that he is abusing her and she has to not want to go through it anymore. You can't make her do it, before she is ready. If your friend isn't living with this guy, and has no kids with him, then it may be a little easier to help her. There are so many different types of abuse that sometimes we don't realize that our partner is abusing us. (like controlling our money for example) You may want to contact a social worker or woman shelter and see if you can get a list of ways people are abused in relationships. Not everyone recognizes a controlling partner or an verbal comment as abuse. It might help you if get some literature from one of these places to help her see what you are saying. Good luck, I will pray for your friends safety.
2007-05-18 14:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by Miss 6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are really a good friend of her you must tell her the truth. If he hurts her and abuse her it certainly is not a good relationship. You get to know if you have a good relationship by seeing that the other respects you, do his best for you and do not abus you especially sexually and against your will.
A good relationship means understanding the other and do as the other wishes, so long that it does not hurst you physically or emotionally.
So tell your friend the truth and take action.
2007-05-18 14:38:57 · answer #4 · answered by domenic x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deep down you just know. The best thing you can do is support her from a distance, you can't help her leave him. She has to leave him on her on. There is nothing you can do except tell her how you feel and let her know she has a safe place when she is ready to leave. If you push her and she leaves him during a fight she will go back to him and them who is he going to blame..... You and then she will also begin to see you as butting in her life and then there will be tension between you too and when that happens it will be truly harder to help her. You have to just there and be a haven for her, more than once cause she will leave him again and again before she is finally over it and when that happens that is you cue to step in and help until then you are better off not being there. For yourself .
2007-05-18 14:36:55 · answer #5 · answered by Petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, being the smart woman that you are, already know the answer. She is in danger and you need to give her some resources to escape. Please encourage her to call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You may not be able to convince her to leave him (victims of domestic violence average 4 attempts at leaving their abusers before they are successful), so it is important to keep your relationship open so that she has somewhere to go when she is in trouble.
2007-05-18 14:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by Lacey G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop a copy of this PDF file in her purse (let her read for herself):
http://www.skillstosuccess.com/attachments/emotionally_controlling_relationships_report.pdf
2007-05-18 15:00:14 · answer #7 · answered by MagnumVox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for me now that i am finally in one at the age of32.. we communicate. if something is bothering me he can tell and makes me spill it. then he knows how to treat me it is awesome
2007-05-18 14:33:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What common sense tells you to... GET HER OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-18 14:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by Beebz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show her how bad he is
2007-05-18 14:30:47 · answer #10 · answered by evilzone92000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋