I am married and have been married for 2 years and have a son that is 1 1/2. I meet my husband when I was very desperate. I fell in love with him only after all the things he did for me. I recently ran into my high school sweetheart I still feel for. I love him with a passion. The kind of love you physically feel inside. I told him to live his life now and told him to leave. I don't know wheat to do. He lied and said he didn't cheat when I was with him but I knew. Now he says he can't live this way anymore and asked for my forgiveness. I forgave him. I never felt this much love with my husband. Should I go to him and leave my husband. Don't get me wrong my husband is a good man. I just don't love him like I love the other guy. However, what if I leave him and my decision for the other guy turns out to be the biggest mistake of my life and I end up alone with my son. I need help!!!!!
2007-05-18 07:07:20 · 19 answers · asked by Mrs. S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay with your good husband and keep your family together. Why destroy their lives?
2007-05-18 07:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lacey G 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You never forget your first love. You will not that is just it. But you will not get back what you had together in high school either. If it did work you can count on it being nothing like high school. If that is what you are looking for do not waste your time or heartache. There is a reason you did not stay together, remember that. I would not leave a good husband, they are hard to find. At the same time you deserve to be happy, does your family now satisfy you? If you are only considering leaving him for a different man, then don't. If the high school sweetheart does not work out you can't just go running back to your husband. "oh, never mind I do love you after all" will not sit well with him. Put yourself in his shoes, what would you want him to do?
2007-05-18 07:18:48 · answer #2 · answered by M. Nurse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think you would get your son?
If you were my wife and went back to a cheating high school lover, I would throw your butt to the curb, rip you a new one in court, keep my child and force you to provide child support. That would be the start. You would then go to supervised visitation because you cannot be trusted.
I would never allow your "lover" to be with you in the presence of my son ( you notice NOT your son). Then I would sit back and enjoy it while your life swirls down the drain you are crafting for yourself.
It would be very interesting to watch as you deal with the self esteem issues created by turning yourself into a LIAR and CHEAT.
And why? Because your memory of a guy that cheated on you once is somehow better than your vision of your husband who has given you a home , a child and did "all the things" for you.
Now you are at a crossroads. You can stay with a guy who who does the right things in life and who must love you or run back to a guy who cheated on you but made you moist.
You are right, you need help.
I hope in some way that this little diatribe shocks you back into reality because I think you lost touch somewhere.
2007-05-18 07:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel that you will not find anyone else? Do you have weight to lose? Work on yourself, you can let him stay there for a little longer while you prepare yourself to be free of him. Mentally tell yourself that you will no longer live with him. You then need to meet friends and build a network of people around you that you have things in common with and you can use to distract yourself from the pain until the day comes when the pain isn't so strong. LIke the other people said, time will heal you, just take your time getting out as well, first you need to mentally free yourself from him before you can physically do it. You will be better off without him, you really will, even though he is all you know right now, and you may be nervous that you dont know how to kiss someone, date someone, things like that. Dont worry, it will come naturally to you and just work on making yourself a better person, picture yourself happy and you will be. Try reading the book "the secret"
2016-05-22 08:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by mildred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide, but it sounds like you are living in the past. It is very normal for old feelings to come back when you see an ex, especially if they were a big part of your life. You need to take your ex out of the picture and decide what you really want to do with your marriage. If the marriage doesn't work out, then you can pursue the ex. I think that if you leave your hubby for him, you will end up very disappointed because the grass is not always greener on the other side.
2007-05-18 07:12:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am leaving my husband and thinking of contactng my ex maybe later after things cool down, but the reason I am leaving is beacuse my husband is a loser, a drunk, and he hit me and threatened to rape me.
If your husband doesn't do these things, then please don't give him up. Like someone else said if the marriage doesn't work, then leave, but don't EVER leave for another guy, you more than likely will be making a big misktake and end up alone like you said. This happened to someone I knew who left her husband for her ex and her ex broke with her two months after the divorce. Her and her son now live with her mother and her ex husband is now happily married to another woman and they are buying a house and having a new baby...please don't let this be you...let us know what you decide!
2007-05-19 04:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by Torturedsoul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
was kind of in the same situation, and chose for family, just to make everybody else happy... , but am still struggling with...what could've had happened if...?? If YOU have a good steady job, i would say...follow your heart, take a risk....If it was a bad decision, at least you can put an end to that and only then you're going to be able to move on and start fresh...Family is important, but at the end you're the one who is actually the unhappy one for everybody else happiness...And I've been married for over 13 years!!
2007-05-18 07:28:20 · answer #7 · answered by Belchiq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't the grass always look greener.......? You have a husband and a very young child. You have a family who doesn't care that you might feel more for the ex than you do for the present. Get your head out of some romantic past and work on your marriage.
2007-05-18 07:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as your decision is all about "you" what could go wrong? I do feel bad for your husband though, dude's gonna be scratching his head... you never told him you loved someone else from the past and would consider leaving him if things should change. You might as well do it now, as soon as there is any problems in your relationship you going to run, better now than later.
2007-05-18 07:13:25 · answer #9 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stick with your husband. He is a good man, he loves you, supports you, gave you your son. Your ex cheated on you and treated you poorly. Hmm. Lets see who is the better man? You husband.
That passion you feel is lust, not love. Know the difference.
2007-05-18 07:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to go with your heart onj this one. I am one for a family sticking together but if you don't love him then that is not fair to your husband either. He may have a person out there that would love him the way that you say that you love your ex. Its a tough decision that ONLY you can make...... I think you have many things to take into consideration. Good Luck!
2007-05-18 07:34:02 · answer #11 · answered by mama2mrtucker 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋