I am stuck because I don't have anywhere else to go and he has a car. He talked about our sexlife to his bosses the very first day on the job the other day. He has done this before and I asked him not to. I caught him when I overheard his boss mock one of the things I say to him over the telephone. What do I do ? I can't break up with him, I have nowhere else to go. Has there been a relationship oin the breakdown or do you think he has always been like this ?I can't throw it in his face or else he will go off on me. I don't think he was like this in the beginning of our relationship, men, is that how it goes ? Men, does he really love me or does he just have a problem ? He talks about all women like this, but he should not talk about me like this.
2007-05-18 06:41:49 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I mean breakdown in the relationship
2007-05-18 06:43:13 · update #1
he obviously isn't mr. right !!
2007-05-18 06:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by fallen_ang0l 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry to say you're right...he shouldn't be talking about you like this, or anyone else for that matter. He is using you as a sex object. When men love their women, (although sex is ALWAYS a topic with men), they talk about how wonderful their mate is..what she does for him...how pretty she is....how she makes him feel on the inside. If he's only talking about your sex life, you don't mean anything to him emotionally. Furthermore, if he's mocking you, he doesn't respect you and you will have some heavy decisions to make.
Never say that there is nowhere for you to go. You can call up the local Women's Shelter and they'll even come pick you up. Call a friend in the next town...your parents. You can go to a Crisis Centre and they'll help get you out.
You deserve more respect than this. You deserve to be treated like a person, not a sex slave. Get bold, hun..make some phone calls!
2007-05-18 06:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Communication Trust and Honesty are the keys to a long healthy realtionship..without those you have nothing. You need to sit him down and calmly ask him why he talks of you this way ?? let him know that you don't like it...and feel mistreated. If he goes off on you....then you have your answers.He doesn't love you nor deserve you. IF this is the case then you truely do need to look at other options to go somewhere. I know you feel stranded and trapped in a relationship that you're not quite sure of...that you have no car and no place to go. Try to get intouch with someone..a relative, friend..to come get you if you choose to leave...Don't waste your life away with someone that doesn't Respect you or himself to discuss such intimate moments with anyone especially his boss.
Best Wishes..You will find a way* Follow your heart~ You know what you want in life*
2007-05-18 07:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have already answered yourself...he does this to other women he has done this before and he goes off on you if you bring it up. All these signs are screaming out that he is controlling and you are unhappy. I would find someone - anyone to get out of that relationship. You could seek out help from a church if your family will not help. He might love you in a strange controlling twisted way but this is very unhealthy.
Good luck
2007-05-18 06:49:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok. ur first problem is your dependency on someone else =T. No one should live their adult lives 100% dependent on their partner!!! what if he turns out to be wacko, or a jerk? (like what's happening...). u are Stuck. so u gotta work on being independent. live w/ a family friend, move in w/ a friend. someone who is willing to help you cuz they care, not cuz they are using u for sex or whatever.
next, have some standards for yourself. don't give someone things when they don't deserve it. find out if they deserve it first, and then give freely (my ideal of what Marriage is..... u are FREE to give and receive love freely because of a voluntary choice to be together). the minute he is not good to you, u have to address it and nip it in the bud. don't give it up if he doesnt' deserve it! and if u are in the position of being kicked out and stuff... well that is a bad judgement on Your part. work hard at being independent, so that u can leave this dude and next time DO NOT make the same mistake!
good luck
2007-05-18 06:49:54 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Disrespect is disrespect. Talking about sex is comman among men and women. I've had to sit through enough episode of Sex in the City with my wife laughing her a** off to know that it's an equal opportunity crime.
However, if want him to stop, he should respect your request. If he doesn't, ask yourself what else will he ignore if you ask? You might consider figuring an exit strategy.
2007-05-18 09:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by Matthew P 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is a jerk. He doesnt respect you and he cares more about how he looks to others than he does your feelings. Sounds like he is a narcissist. ( I know i didnt spell that right). Guys like that NEVER get better or change. They are the only person in their universe. Get out any way you can as soon as you can. Get on public aid if you need to. Get a job within walking distance of your home if you need to. Make a plan and get out. good luck.
2007-05-18 06:50:45 · answer #7 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My dear, having no transportation is the flimsiest excuse in the entire universe. What you husband is doing is a form of abuse...and you need to tell him that. Belittling and demeaning a person is a way to keep that person "down" and he should NEVER do that to anyone, least of all his wife.
If you want out of that marriage, then you WILL find a way and you won't keep using the "no transportation" thing as an excuse.
Contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline and ask them for help...they can give you useful resources to help you get where you want to go...if that's what you want to do.
1-800-799-7233
2007-05-18 06:49:36 · answer #8 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honey, a man who disrespects you doesn't deserve you. What do you mean you can't break up with him and you have no place to go? The biggest mistake you can make as a grown woman is to depend on a man (or anyone else) to take care of you. Learn to depend on yourself and take care of yourself. You're supposed to have a plan of action before you get into a relationship/marriage with someone.
Make a fresh start in your own life by getting rid of this man, even if it means you have to live in a shelter, and before you become involved with another man, get your priorities together so in case this happens to you again, you're totally able to take care of yourself.
2007-05-18 07:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Whether you like it or not, it's too bad. Your with a guy that you really don't like, but your using him for a place to live!
He's obviously using you as a sex object and good for him. Your disrespecting him so why would he respect you? I'll tell you right now, he wouldn't do that to the woman he loved.
Get a job and get your own life.
2007-05-18 06:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is not about men, this is about abuse. He is controlling and he considers you to be his property. You would do much better to leave him. His talking about sex with you is not about your sex life, it is about his conquests. He is merely trying to show how much of a man he is and hurt you because you asked him not to talk to others about your sex life.
His behavior is all about control. Like you said, he did not start out this way. Abusers never start out as controlling. They become controlling once they believe they own you.
There are always places to go. Start by going to a women's shelter. They can give you a place to stay and help you find a job and get back on your feet.
Never believe that you have no place to go. There is always a way, you just have to find it.
Take care,
Troy
2007-05-18 06:51:49 · answer #11 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋