Are you still supporting your children?

Question

Why do you do it?

Answer 1

Nope, they are all on their own, ages 19-28, some with families of their own. Besides, they all make more money than I do, except for one on SSI, but he lives with a sibling, and is doing well.

Three years ago, after years of struggling to keep my home, things came to a head and I was either going to lose it, or sell it. So I sold it, bought a truck and a fifth wheel, moved into it, and left, leaving those still living at home (but adult with jobs) to find their own way. The two of them rented an apt. together until they were ready to be totally on their own (they were 19 and 20). The 16 year old lived with me in the trailer, until invited 6 months ago to live with his sister (he is the one on SSI).

I would help them out if I could, but I am disabled and currently without resources, living in the trailer with my recently disabled hubby.

It's been tough for them, but they are all tough. My daughter is halfway through her college education to be a teacher; one of my sons has a wife and two kids, and works at a lumber mill (hard work, decent income). Another son barely makes it, but he is single, working at a convenience store, and renting the basement apt. from his grandparents. The youngest, the disabled son on SSI, is hoping to be semi-independent soon, with help from community resources.

I support them all emotionally and mentally, with near-daily contact, and that (from their own words) is more important than financial support. We are a tight knit family who has been through a lot of difficult times, and while I sometimes wish I could help on occasion financially, well, life is what it is.
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Answer 2

My elder children are in good shape. Though, to be so, they are scattered all over the States. The child at home is a young girl that we adopted at 17 months, from China, when I was in my late Fifties and I do support her.

With all the modern things we didn't have in the 40s and 50s, I think the biggest thing, and advantage, were the jobs we could get with companies and know we would still be working there when we retired.

There is a lot of talk about a lot of things that are supposed to be breaking up American families. You never hear a word about the complete lack of job security in this 21st century.

Answer 3

My youngest, age 27, has returned home, bringing a girlfriend, after they both lost their job. I help them out for many reasons. First, I like the company of having them here (with their new baby).
Second, I am grateful that I have the resources to help them.

Third, it is very difficult for them to find a job that will pay enough to afford an apartment here.

Sonny has since found a job, just in time to get insurance which paid the $10,000 in hospital costs for the birth of the new baby. His insurance payments are equal to 1/4 of his pay.

I also support two of my grandsons because their father abandoned them, and their mother, who works at least 10 hours a day, can't afford to keep them.

All seven of us live here, and I'm just glad I bought a house big enough to hold everyone (barely).

Answer 4

Yup, I am.
I started a little late, again. I'm 64 with a 12 and 16 year old girls at home. Im the paternal custodial parent, married again 8 years ago. Third or fifth time ,depending on how you look at it. I don't learn easy. LOLOL. But with all that I wouldn't change a thing. You only live once.Enjoy it while you can.
I've already told them both that once they are on their own and can support themselves they are out the door. ( 12 year old reading over my shoulder says "Right!")

Answer 5

No financial supports. They are all in their 30"s.

One needs to be a smart and strong parent. Except in the event of medical or other legitimate emergencies, giving adult children money will weaken them. It will deplete their self esteem. The adult children will be deprived of the joy of succeeding on their own. Worse than that, they will never become self confident . Parents who make their adult children depend on them have serious emotional problems of their own. They are doing their adult children a disservice.

Answer 6

No thanks...my kids are in their 30's and 40's...the time when Daddy's check book is used is long past. IN fact, they are more finacially responsible than Dad. Making a child dependent upon you is not the finest of parenting I can think of. ... but, it would be very hard to see my kids in a serious jam...I have been in my life and had to dig my way out by myself. So can they. Giving them money does not help them, and sends very bad signals about life. CAll me selfish, but so be it.

Answer 7

In effect, yes I am. My daughter had her children taken from her for the third time. It is quite evident that she can not and will not care for them. I now have them in my home and am raising another brood. I barely had enough time to get over empty nest when they showed up. *sigh*

Answer 8

No way!!! I raised my children to earn their own way. They had chores then jobs. When I was off work last year, my son sent me money to help me out and refused to let me pay him back. My goal in raising them was to make them productive members of society and to ensure they would be better off than I was growing up.

Answer 9

I have no choice my two kids are still young,one ten and one fifteen.Still have a long way to go.

Answer 10

yes, cause i think that the humanbeing is still weak and in need to someone who care and love , and i want for them to live in conditions better than those i lived