i am kind of confused here?

Question

the thing is,i fell out of love with my b/f,at least i felt like if i did .and we were seperated for over a year.in that year of seperation,i met a new friend and after a while i say 6 months of hanging out a or anyt/nnd being nothing but friends.we fell for each other but the problem is he has a g/f. so i ignored the feeling.my b/f and i are back together and will be married in oct.but i stills/ed feel for him,but what im so confused about is that i feel for my b/f too.the other day we were talking as we usually do,and we looked at each others eyes and he apologized for it.we have agree to go on with our lives and be just friends.but we cant be together and not stare at each other.we have never kiss or anything.he said he would love to be part of my wedding,but i dont think i can handle it.he said it hurt him to loose a friend like me to another man.but im just confused,i dont know what to do.any advice would help right now.

sorry,i just noticed there are a couple of mixed up words in there.

Answer 1

It sounds like you are not ready to get married. If you have feelings for someone other than your fiance' then you should postpone the wedding date or just call it off and wait. Your fiance' deserves to have your whole heart and not just a portion. The only other option is to let go of your "friend" if he is going to be getting in the way.

Answer 2

You want the best of both worlds here. The love of fun and excitement from the bf but also the committment and security of being married from your fiance. Cach 22 situation here and which do you really want. Neither comes with a guarantee of lasting forever or that someday there may be a third person. The idea of a long lasting committment scares you a bit but you do like the idea of stability, having a husband to always come home to. You know your fiance wont let you have the bf stay around as a friend for very good reason. Eliminate the temptation and the temptation doesnt exist. Remember, its not having what you want, but wanting what you have. Go with your fiance and forget the what ifs and have a great married life. Remember your upcoming vow to forsake all others. Congrats and all the best to you both

Answer 3

what is see in your paragraph, is that you "fell out of love" previously, and that you are back on, but you haven't said if you love him again. how do you Feel? can you see yourself marrying him, til death do you part?

the thing is, this dilemma i see here is this: do you want A (your fiance), or NOT A (anyone else but A, including your crush)

i do not believe you are currently choosing between your Fiance and your Crush. u dont know where it would go even if you DO date the new guy! u may not get married to the new guy. however, do you want to SEE where it goes? that's choosing NOT A. it means are u still looking for "the one", whether it be the crush, or someone new in the future.

figure out if ur ready to get married, and answer accordingly. it sounds to me that u already seem unexcited to marry your fiance, which is not a very good sign. marriage should be a Voluntary Choice..that way it wont be seen as a regret, or an annoyance, in retrospect.

good luck

Answer 4

you always want what you can't have..a saying of some sort...it's not that you can't have him but he wasn't ready before cause he had a girlfriend and you moved on with your life and got back with your ex who you have agreed to marry, you wouldn't have agreed to that if you weren't sure at the time..so because this guy has now decided he likes you more then friends,you are confused about what to do...He needs to get real, what has changed since you first started liking him, not a lot really...if you really can't decided what to do then you need to stop your marriage( at least go away for a few weeks) and get away from both of them, sounds like neither of them are right for you at the moment and you need time to clear your head as well as work out what your heart is really telling you. is he going to be there for you as a boyfriend or once he has you will dump you.. You need time...and time is a great way of working out what you need in life.

Answer 5

be glad you both can be that close to care so much and not lower it by actually cheating on your sig others.

that only keeps you both in a special place with each other and you should not try to damage it in any way.

I am not sure if you somehow work together or have to see each other alot or what your situation is but if I were you I would not invite him to the wedding. not if you are really in love with your husband and want to give your all to him.

if you on the other hand need to play the game of having a "trist" in the wing, then by all means, invite him, watch him mingle as you and your husband toast to your road of marriage and commitment, keep an eye on him as you and your love dance your first dance, you know, forget that it is yours and your husbands only special day and that you will never do that day again. so when you remember that day you will always think of the other guy.

sure that will be a great story to tell your grandchildren.

Answer 6

Yeah, I agree 100% with the 1st answer. You shouldnt be getting married when you have feelings for another man. You need to take sometime to figure out what you really want and what is going to make you happy in the long run. If you marry your boyfriend while you still have feelings for another man, that wouldnt just be unfair to you but it would also be unfair to your boyfriend. I would suggest that you take some time to think about everything before you jump into marriage.

Answer 7

You should not marry this man if you obviously have feelings for someone else. And if this friend of your has the same feelings then why don't the two of you get together? I know he has a gf but does he feel the same for her as he does for you?

Answer 8

It sounds like you have no business getting married when your feelings are so unresolved. Sort out your life and feelings. And DON'T go through with a wedding if you feel this way.

Answer 9

it is a fascinating question. In canines breed language you would be a mut. yet whats up - so am I. i think of it is interesting that we could desire to call our mixed lineage. i'm into geneology and discover it facinating while/why/how human beings immigrated to the U. S.. i've got self belief like the suited ingredient approximately being an American is that it capacity "mut". Can somebody whose mom and dad did no longer immigrate right here extremely call themselves something yet American or Canadian or Australian? in case you grew up "right here" and went by way of college "right here" - you're American/Canadian etc. i do no longer think of human beings understand the way majestic and crammed with satisfaction it's going to make one to be a "mut". The melting pot genuine. as an occasion my great-grandparents immigrated from Germany - yet an component to Germany that became traded beteween France and Germany for some years - so i glance greater "French" (dark hair wierd nostril) than German (blond har blue eyes). Or my great-great grandparents got here from England, yet their mom and dad migrated there from Scotland. I even have reddish hair so am I Scottish? nicely i like all Celtic issues. embody all those cultures that blend you into one pot of gorgeous stew which you call your self. attending to understand those issues approximately your self could make you like your self and different greater!

Answer 10

I think you need to get some resolve with this other person. Three is a crowd. You don't need him in your wedding either. Maybe you should postpone your wedding plans for now.