prenuptial looses trust!?

Question

I think siging a pre-nub means who are planning for a divorce? Why are you planning to make a divorce go well when you are getting married??? To me it does not make any sense. I honestly think if you trust someone you should be planning on living with them forever. You get married for better or worse right?? If you think you are going to have problems with you spouse in the future then why are you wasting you time getting married with the person. It is like saying i "love you BUT......" I think love is trust and hoping for the best, not preparing for the worst? What do you guys think??? Have anybody signed a pre-nup if so how did you feel?

So you saying since many people get divorce you should plan for divorce as well? It still ruins the marriage and i think you are BETTER off trusting the person. But its my own opinion.

I think in todays world it is all about money(as well as other things) and people dont have morals anymore. Prenups are one of the reasons people are getting divorce in my opinion. I think about 30 years people considered marriage differently then they do now. Thats why they lastesd longer.

I am ignoring reality by hiding behind the name of love!? WOw i guess love is not most important thing marriage anymore i wonder why they dont last....

Answer 1

Ever been on an airplane? Remember that whole speech flight attendants give about what you're supposed to do if the plane crashes, with the flotation devices and oxygen masks and all that fun stuff? How do you feel when you hear this speech? Do you assume it means that the pilot is expecting to crash the plane? After all, why else would you plan on making a crash go well?

No matter how good a pilot is, there is always a chance that things will go wrong midflight and the plane will crash. Likewise, no matter how good a relationship is, there is always the chance that it will turn sour in the future and one or both of you will want a divorce. Maybe there's some seemingly minor issue that two of you that you never even thought to discuss which turns out to be a be a big deal later on. Maybe you'll just change as you grow older, and become very different people who are no longer able to relate to each other. There are a lot of things that could happen. It may be incredibly unlikely, but it's not impossible, and don't you want to be protected if it does happen?

I agree that love is trusting your partner and hoping for the best, but it is possible to hope for the best while also preparing for the worst. There is a huge difference between *expecting* something to happen and acknowledging the possibility that it *could* happen. That's what prenups are about.

Answer 2

If you bring nothing to the marriage, ie, no furniture, no tv, no house, stuff like that, then why should you get half of a guys stuff after being married to him a few years?
In this day and age, marriages tend to not work. There are a lot of Pop-Tart marriages, which means, they only last a year or two. People treat marriage like a more advanced dating situation, but when they get bored, they leave. So, who initiates the pre-nup is just protecting themselves.
If you fell in love with a guy, and he was living at home, or living with a roommate, but all he had was clothes and a few personal items, and he moves in with you, and you have a house, a car, and a ton of new furniture that you worked hard to get, and then two years later, you or he decides to call it quits, do you think its fair that he now gets half of the stuff you earned, where he brought nothing into the relationship?
Now, if you both have little and buy stuff together, then it all gets settled in the divorce, but I am getting off track.
A pre-nup is just saving two people heart ache later on, if things don't work out. Not saying it won't work, but just in case. This way, he keeps his, you keep yours and you split what you aquire while together. Instead of fighting over who gets what CD's, its all arranged ahead of time. I look at a pre-nup as a precaution, but if you don't need it, then great, but I wouldn't let it stop you from getting married to the person.

Answer 3

I completely and totally agree with you. I'm not married and never have been, but I think it sounds awful! Like you put it, the best way I've heard: "Why are you planning to make a divorce go well when you are getting married?" I think, though, that a LOT of trust has been lost in this world - due to so many people doing horrible things to their ex and going through such horrible court cases during a divorce, they want it just in case - because it's hard to trust someone when you really think about the fact that NO ONE can possibly know what will happen in the next year, let alone the next 50! But really, I do see what you're saying and completely agree. I don't plan on ever getting one done myself...but then again, times change.

Answer 4

I'm getting married in a matter of months and my fiancee and I have agreed that a prenup is a good idea. He is coming into the marriage with no assets. I have a house with equity and a daughter from a previous relationship to think of. In this day and age you can lose your 401k and any other retirement benefits you are entitled to. so my question to you is "Why should I be allowed to take anything from you that you already worked hard for?" It's not a matter of sharing in the present but being realistic about circumstances that you can't control in the future.

Answer 5

You are ignoring reality by hiding in the name of love. Indeed, prenup started with individuals or families as well as celebrities that are loaded with money and assets. There should be no surprise that spouses (men or women) pursuaded by lawyers can sue and sue for as much money as possible.

Don't forget, the children of the first marriage can be protected financially from second marriages regardless of their success or failure.

More: You read around here that there are men and women who bring not assets but debts and extreme spending to the marriage. The victims are the poor children. Prenup is a way for grandparents to pass money to their offsprings in a manner of their choice.

Answer 6

First, it's "prenup", so maybe you want to think harder. And second, you can put anything allowable under law in there, and its usual purpose is to protect assets acquired PRIOR to marriage, and even then... as I said, you get to decide what goes in there.

Maybe if YOU are a gold-digger and YOU are planning on a divorce, then you would use THIS kind of argument, but most people with any sense think of it as marriage insurance.

Answer 7

i would lose trust in someone if they refused to sign it because it would make me think they only wanted me for what i have. i understand why people think badly about them but you can't really blame someone for protecting themselves! i don't think it sets a couple up for divorce because if it's meant to be a piece of paper won't change that. honestly as much as you think you no someone you can't predict how they will change over 10, 20, 30 or more years so i don't think there's anything wrong with protecting yourself! besides most pre-nups don't cover what was made or bought during the marriage, they protect assets you had prior to the marriage and personally i wouldn't want anything my husband had before the marriage because i didn't help him with earning it or if his family left it to him it's not my place to try and take.

Answer 8

Divorce is a fact of life. No one walks down the aisle planning on getting divorced.

But as well as we think we know the other person, things come up. I've handled several cases where fraud was an issue.

Other facts of life: people lie, cheat, steal and take advantage of other peoples emotions to get what they want.

Protecting yourself is a mature approach to dealing with reality.

The fantasy that 'love conquers all' is best left to Disney and romance novels.

Answer 9

I don't have a prenup but I think your living with rose colored glasses on. 50% of marriages end with divorce so its smart to protect your assests. Trust, love and fairness often go out the window when divorcing.

Answer 10

i have a gf and we talked about getting married a few times. i brought up the issue before to her but in more of a healthy/funny sort of way and it went good. i told her i love her and i don't think people should get divorced but nobody thinks they're going to get divorced when they get married. you're all in love but things happen you can't control.

in my case i want to get one signed because in the future I'm going to inherit a hefty lump sum from family matters and i don't think it's right to take a chance and give away half of my families money if a divorce comes up. my girl and i love each other...but blood comes first. and I'm not letting any women get rich off my family...

she doesn't know I'm going to get a lot of money though....