ok my b/f has said that he cant see himself living after 20, that since he was a little kid he always thought he would die at 20 or not even make it to his 20th b-day. i told him we can see what happens 10 years from now or know whats going to happen a week from now but we still hope our life will be some way in the next year. he just kept saying he cant picture anything past 20. i think its becuase he is stuck in a hard place with a job and goals and everything but he still argues that he dosent think he is ment to live long...could he really have a sense of this? or are some people like this, they cant picture what they "want" there life to be like. this worries me because i need him and cant loose him...what are your thoughts
2007-05-18 05:31:29 · 12 answers · asked by lovely 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LOL, Ok there is a very simple explanation for this.
He's human. He doesn't have goals because he doesn't know what he wants. No direction. It may take him a long time to get there but ya know what. I had the same problem when I was his age and I'm 35 now and I made it past 20. It's nothing to worry about.
He will get over it. He needs to find something that he is passionate about. and channel him through what he is passionate about. He will find direction that way and will stop feeling that way.
Tell him he can't see into the future. Most of us can't so he is trying to do the impossible. If we could see in the future there would be a higher suicide rate in this country and around the world.
He just needs direction is all.
:0)
2007-05-18 06:07:36 · answer #1 · answered by raymond E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can imagine themselves becoming old. Can't imagine myself at 90, 70, 50, and I couldn't imagine being 30 when I was 17.
20 though, does seem a bit odd. He might have some mental issues and / or stress adding to the situation... but you should tell him to cut it out. It sounds adolescent to talk about visions of an early death like that. Juvenile really. And you don't like him talking like that. If he continues to talk about it, then maybe it is more then some juvenile slogan he's got going on, and you might want to start looking for a new boyfriend.
2007-05-18 12:54:07 · answer #2 · answered by hunter_2675 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lovely, is there a chance he could be depressed? It sounds like he's really consumed with this thought. Maybe he needs a change in jobs, and a different routine in other things he does. Just stay positive around him and let him know how much you enjoy your life being with him. If possible, plan something fun in the future that he can look forward to. Sounds like you're a great friend; he's very lucky to have you as a girlfriend.
2007-05-18 12:41:31 · answer #3 · answered by Oreo Schmoreo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was younger, I could never picture myself being the age I am now (almost 30) & now at this age I still am unable to see myself say like 40. But I feel that the reasoning behind this is wanting to be in control of the situation & because you never know what will come next, you just feel nothing is coming.
2007-05-18 13:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by momma_zen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always knew I was going to die before I hit 30, so I partied hard and didn't take care of myself. Now I'm 44 and think I'll be around forever. He knows that he is worring you with this and he is seeking your attention. Tell him your no longer interested in the subject, and find a creative way to provide some attention to him.
2007-05-18 12:39:30 · answer #5 · answered by chip t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he has a serious pre-exisiting condition, any irrational thoughts or behaviors should be taken up with a professional. Unless of course, this is his way of avoiding a commitment to you. Regardless, you both are a little young for any serious thoughts. Worry more about what you are going to be doing with your future, not his.
2007-05-18 12:42:21 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs professional help. He might be thinking of taking his own life. He sounds depressed. Nobody knows what the future holds except for the man who made us.
2007-05-18 12:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's not mentally stable and this probably isn't someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Start dating someone else.
2007-05-18 12:37:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking you both need therapy. He has some irrational fear of an early death and you for an unhealthy "need" that you have.
2007-05-18 12:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cant protect him from fate. But it's proly just some issues he has because he doesnt feel like he deserves to live. ???
2007-05-18 12:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋