My husband has always been mentally abusive towards me. We have tried counseling and it didn't work. He is still this overbearing, macho, selfish person. I feel I am an attractive woman, so I have been told through the years, I have a degree and a great job. I seem to have it together yet nothing is good enough for him. He still constantly degrades me and try's to put me down in what ever I say or do. We argue at least 4 or 5 days out of the week. We have a 3 year old daughter together that is like his shadow and is closer to him then me. I finally found the courage to asked him for a divorce and to please work with me for our daughters sake. I said I would give him 50/50 and not ask for anything else. I explained to him how I wanted both of us to be happy. He is now avoiding my phone calls and will not return his daughter's phone calls, which is not like him. I feel that he is punishing our daughter to get to me. I can't understand why if he hates me so much, degrades me everyday, tells me I'm a terrible mother and thinks he could get better why doesn't he cooperate with the divorce, so we can both be happy apart?
2007-05-18 05:30:42 · 12 answers · asked by September 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sue him for divorce. It isn't necessary for him to cooperate.
2007-05-18 05:33:55 · answer #1 · answered by pater47 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with abuse is that it is a cycle. One of you needs to break it.
If you are in a no-fault state, just contact an attorney, file for divorce and be prepared for everything that comes with it. You have a 3-year old daughter that you need to protect from this environment. She will grow up thinking that this is NORMAL. Do you want that to happen?
If you are in a fault state where you need to sue for divorce it's more complicated and you'll need an attorney to walk you through. But you don't, at any point, need his agreement to get divorced. That's why it is a lawsuit. You are suing the other person.
2007-05-18 05:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by Michael F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound very selfish, and is very cruel. Unfortunately, he is insecure about something in his life and maybe he feels that your career is better than his and is taking from his man hood. Fighting is very unhealthy for the baby and he should not do that to her. That is cruel and child abuse. Divorce is not good and should be worked out but unfortunately a good marriage is with God in the mist. I know I have him in mine and i have the most humble man, he is awesome. Your not a terrible mother, but if this is truly what you want and you think you deserve better for you and your baby go for it and take that step out on faith, do what will be healthy for you and the baby, maybe during the process he will realize what he truly has and change his way and realize he is wrong. No one deserves to be put down and treated like that, maybe just leave for awhile until he comes to his senses and try making him feel more important and make his career seem better than yours, and if his man hood sucks lie and say it is at its best, cause usually it has to do with his man hood all around
2007-05-18 05:42:26 · answer #3 · answered by Pastor Martinez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is a very sick individual, this is his way of continuing to control your emotions. The last thing your daughter needs is her father giving her an image that this is normal, if this happens, she will end up in abusive relationships as well and may even blame you. If after two years, he does not respond or contact you, you don't need his consent to divorce, an essentially you will get everything.
2007-05-18 05:37:28 · answer #4 · answered by SloanMercy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he cant stand being married but has realized he cant afford to divorce you either. You may just have to file for divorce on your own and force him to deal with this. You will be awarded custody of your daughter and the house so thats no problem there. You will be awarded child support unless smething is worked out prior to court date. You can get a divorce on your own and without his consent if you so desire. Its your choice. Good luck
2007-05-18 05:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because You are HIS and he doesn't want you to get away and realize how terrible he really is. Even though you are a toy he doesn't play with anymore, he doesn't want anyone else to play with it either. Clean out the bank account and sue for divorce. Good luck.
2007-05-18 05:38:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is one of those miserable people that wants to drag everyone else down with him! If he really cares for your daughter, he will come around in time. Sounds like you are doing what you can to make things better for yourself and your daughter. More power to you!
2007-05-18 05:39:10 · answer #7 · answered by karenhar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he doesn't want to be "alone" he's being selfish! I would leave. And he shouldn't be mentally abusing you! That's worse than phsyical abuse! I know I have been with men that both mentally and physically abused me. It's not up to him to divorce you...YOU can divorce HIM! Good luck!
2007-05-18 05:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your success intimidates him? Is he as successful outside the relationship as you are?
Is he otherwise happy, and just gruff with you?
A lot of guys are really competitve at heart, perhaps he sees himself as failing if he knows you would be fine without him, and don't actually 'need' him.
2007-05-18 05:35:51 · answer #9 · answered by Bigshow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him a better offer 30/70, and give him custody, and you go out and start a new life.
2007-05-18 05:33:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋