His wife is old looking and fat. They never have sex anymore. And she is boring. He is in great shape and still very handsome. The 22 year old looks like a Playboy centerfold & is very well educated as she is getting ready for her bar exam. She keeps trying to get him into bed but he refuses until he physically leaves his wife. He is a strict Catholic. His 5 kids are all grown up. Yes, he is very attracted to her. What advice can I give him?
2007-05-18 04:21:21 · 22 answers · asked by Ballbuster 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Old geezer got some fresh poo tang after him?
Get the heart checked out and some viagra and go for it.
Then go to confession and ask for forgiveness.
2007-05-18 04:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
No he should avoid this young woman because he is to old for her. His 5 children will think he is a pedophile and she is young enough to be his granddaughter!! Tell your friend to get counseling for his midlife crisis for Gods sake. There is an era difference here and no Viagra in the world down the line will help him to keep up with her! This young woman must be looking for a father image that she never had. Just because you get an education doesn't mean you are smart and this just proves how very dumb that she is. Your friend only is attracted to her because she is young and is only thinking about the sex he could get from this girl. If he cared for her at all he would realize that he is out of her league and let her find someone her own age. The woman has her own problems or fantasies to fill and she doesn't care about your friends life or how many lives she will put through hell let alone himself. He is wrong in thinking the way he is and needs to leave this be and stop contact with her. He is absolutely not right if he persues this. Good luck.
2007-05-18 04:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's a "strict Catholic" then he knows what the answer is. Tell him to resolve things in his marriage first. You're only getting his side of the story. Could be that he's not that great as a husband too. He needs to tell the 22 year old to back off and get some morals of her own. What would he say if his 22 year old daughter wanted to sleep with a married man?
2007-05-18 04:36:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He shouldn't start a new relationship until he has finished the first. His wife can make his life a living hell in court if he starts a relationship and she finds out. Let him leave his wife if things are not well at home and then he will have the freedom to seek this other woman's company. He sounds a one of the few good men left in this country and he should fight to remain that way because we are few and hard to come by. If he does it the right way, even separating for a while, he can have a better conscious.
2007-05-18 04:29:28 · answer #4 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't think with his d*ck and Just 'cos you don't like the look of his wife or her manner doesnt mean he shares the same view. But if you care for your friend and I mean that, then get the hubby to tell his wife that he is being chased, and that that hubby is feeling attracted to her. This MAY get some communication happening between wife and hubby that may cause an invigoration of their relationship. After 40 years, there is too much time, love and emotion invested to be thrown away on a superficial sexual fling.
2007-05-18 05:10:33 · answer #5 · answered by travelmate37 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He shouldn't get involved until he leaves his wife. Especially after 40 years, maybe he should try and fix it instead of jumping into bed with the 22 year old who more than likely will dump him for someone younger and more attractive than him when she finds them. If he wants to leave it's his choice but he shouldn't be anywhere near the 22 yr old until he does.
2007-05-18 04:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by urstruly8604 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That would be pretty sad if he throw away a 40 year relationship for some 22 year old tramp. You'd think he married the woman for more than her looks and sex. There is more to a relationship then those things. If he wants to break his wife's heart then he should do it. I don't think cheating is ever the answer.
2007-05-18 04:27:58 · answer #7 · answered by **Angel** 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, he shouldn't get involved. Marriage is a commitment..... for better, for worse. When he said his vows, he didn't say,"until she's old looking, fat and boring"....did he? As long as he's still married, he should NOT be with the woman who's young enough to be his daughter.....or any other one, for that matter. If this 22 yr old is as hot as you say she is, why is she interested in a man so much older than her? Something fishy there.
2007-05-18 04:31:43 · answer #8 · answered by sassysusie 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It seems to me that your friend is simply tired of his wife and from the description of her, it seems pointless to have a conversation about the things they could do to "spice up" their marriage. After 40 years, I think they both love each other but love doesn't always include physical attraction or even loyalty.
However, you could talk to you friend and focus on the consequences of an affair. It really doesn't matter how old the woman is. Whether she's 22 or 42, if he doesn't love her and if she doesn't love him (it seems that it's only a sexaul attraction at this point) then is it really worth it to risk the fallout from an exposed affair?
You should talk through all the possibilities with your friend and if he still thinks it is worth it, then don't try to convince him otherwise. He knows right from wrong and sometimes people, with a clear mind, choose to do wrong.
The consequence discussion should include the following:
(1) wife finding out, staying with him and making his life miserable by no longer being a good homemaker for him...which could lead to (a) him being miserable at home (b) children finding out and being hurt or respecting him less (c) other relatives and friends finding out and being hurt and respecting him less
(2) the wife finding out and filing for divorce and leaving him stripped of his retirement savings and lifestyle as well as (b) and (c) from above
(3)the 22 yr old wanting (X) from him...the stress on him to try to satisfy his home life as well as his affair...she could get upset, call off the affair and he could get stressed out if he wanted to continue and that could cause adverse effects at home...
(4) the affair begins and they are discreet but 22 yr old is sexually active and has a sexually transmitted disease that she passes on to your friend. It could be something as common as genital warts or as life altering as HIV/AIDS. He is stressed out. The STD has adverse effects on his home life. His wife eventually finds out and ***See (1) and (2) above***
I think this should be enough for starters. It's the advice I would give to any friend of mine who was in your friend's situation. It is not necessary for you to discuss the so-called "good posibilities" because if your friend is even contemplating an affair, he has already considered all the ways in which he could have this affair and keep his life as is.
You must get your friend to understand that what he wants is impossible. He wants the affair but he wants everything else to remain the same. The truth is, the affair will change everything. It will change the way he looks at life, it will change his responses to situations in his life, it will change his outlook of life and his view of himself. It will also make him self-conscious and uneasy about the way others view him.
I am not here to judge your friend or the 22 yr old. Some people simply like to have fun at all cost. And this is what this seems to be...two people wanting to have fun. If he is willing to take the chance to have fun in spite of not knowing the outcome (and not really knowing the 22 yr old), then what will happen will happen.
He may hurt his wife but he will hurt himself more. He will have a mark on his character that can't be erased.
2007-05-18 06:23:32 · answer #9 · answered by OSA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grow up first of all. He needs to get a divorce before pursueing some chic that could be young enough to be his own kid. Sick!
Has he even cared enough to try and fix his marriage problems, probably not, just wants to whine about it and take the easy road out.
And what a good little church man he is that he's thinking of adultry!
2007-05-18 04:27:28 · answer #10 · answered by Luv2RIDE 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He needs to deal with his marriage first. If he decides to end that then he is free to pursue anyone he desires. Just because someone is pursuing him doesn't meant that he should succumb. This great 22 year old may look completely different when he isn't comparing her to his current wife.
2007-05-18 04:28:54 · answer #11 · answered by Brent 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋