One of my good friends is pregnant and wants to name the baby Andrew after her old boyfriend -- She loved him a lot, but they got in a fight and decided to take a break and make sure that they belonged together. In the meantime, he found someone else and she realized she wanted to be with him... and she was waiting patiently for his relationship to end so she would not be the cause of it. Well, in the meantime he died in an accident very suddenly and she was devastated.
It has been a couple of years and she is pregnant now. Would it be weird to name the baby after an old boyfriend (first and middle names)??? She is not currently with the baby's father either.
She asked me and I did not know what to tell her. I think it would be OK since she is not with the father either, but wouldn't it be weird explaining to the child when he was older???
Opinions please?
2007-05-18 03:29:38 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
Andrew was not abusive! He was a very sweet man and one of my best friends. Sorry if I gave that impression, but you are mistaken!
The fight was not so much a fight but a verbal disagreement... Andrew wanted her to go back to school and settle down (she was a big partier) and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that commitment, and once she realized she was it was too late...
So he was in NO means abusive! This was a man who would carry spiders outside instead of killing them.
2007-05-18 06:01:12 · update #1
I don't think it would be too weird, I'm sure people have done a lot weirder. A lot of people choose names they like, just because they like them, and a lot of people choose a name cuz it's special to them. I think even if she was with the baby's father, it wouldn't be too weird. She just wants a name of someone who meant a lot to her, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sure, the baby's dad might not agree knowing it was her ex's name, but I still don't think it's much of a big deal. I don't think it would be weird to the child, all she has to tell him, if he asks, is that she chose the name cuz someone she really cared about who passed away had that name, and it means a lot to her. Then her son will feel special, knowing he is special to his mother.
2007-05-18 03:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think this is a difficult question, I think she should not name him exactly after a man that is not his father. I think it is kind of weird.
They loved each other, but she was in an abusive relationship and wants to hold on to it, i don't think that is healthy. How about Andy or something that is close to Andrew.
What happens when she finds a new love, she will have a hard time explaining that she was in love with an abusive man and had a child by someone else and then named a baby after him and it wasn't his baby.
She sounds like she has had a rough time, I think she should move on and be happy with her new life with her new blessing.
Also, think about the future, her child will think that they were some kind of love child from a one night stand....
Good Luck with this one!!
I hope my opinion helps!!!
2007-05-18 03:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tough question. My first thought as I was reading was "No! Don't do it!" until I read that he had died and that the Dad wasn't in the picture. I think tribute names can bring comfort and be a beautiful gesture, but in this case, there is no clear sign that her feelings were returned, and it puts a tremendous pressure on this child. If she does choose the tribute name, all she has to say is that her son is named after someone she admired who died young. Bringing up the whole story every time could be emotionally draining and keep her from moving forward. These are my thoughts as I process, but ultimately, I think it is a bad idea. She needs to move on and the child doesn't need to represent her heartbreak.
2007-05-18 03:50:31 · answer #3 · answered by Pamela B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at the answers, look to be divided by sex. The gals, the romantics, think is is great to name the baby after her ex. The guys are more practical and think she should move on with her life.
I am inclined to agree with the guys. She will find another love and she and/or the new love maybe resent always being reminded of an ex boyfriend. This would make a difficult relationship between the child and who ever she ends up with.
RS
2007-05-18 03:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being that she is no longer with the father of the baby...i don't think it is that weird. If I were in her position, I would not tell the child it was an ex-boyfriend...but would say it was a close friend who died in an accident that he was named after.
I think it is a nice tribute to someone that she cared deeply for. When/if she gets with another man, i don't think it would be strange for him to know why she named her son what she did. The guy has passed away.
2007-05-18 05:51:09 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be weird....It would be a nice gesture to honor the one that she loved.... If she is not with the baby's daddy & he doesnt want any say in it, then I think that it would be fine. She doesnt have to explain the name to anyone.
Has she thought of naming the baby names that match Andrew's initals....like Aaron, Adam or Aiden for a first name? Or maybe changing the first name & middle name around so that it wont be the exact same name?
It's her baby & she can really name the baby whatever she wants.
2007-05-18 08:48:28 · answer #6 · answered by leashell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be a little weird. If she ever ends up with a guy that will treat her child like his own, it will be weird for him knowing that the baby was named after an ex-boyfriend. That said, if the guy is really worth keeping, he will get over it. So I don't think it is a horrible decision. Weird? Yes. Bad? Not necessarily.
Hope that helps.
2007-05-18 03:38:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be a great tribute and a way to keep the friend Andrew alive. As long as she doesn't give him the FULL name (first, middle and last)..then it's totally cool. I think it's great. And as far as explaining, all she has to tell him is that he was named after a close friend of hers that died. Same as naming our kids after our parents and grandparents.
2007-05-18 05:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Marketingbabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that Andrew is a beautiful name, and since your friend is no longer with the baby's father, I don't think it will matter to the boy as he gets older where the mother got his name. Unless... it becomes an obsession, especially since the original Andrew died so tragically.
2007-05-18 03:45:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hm, I have two gut reactions.
The first was thay if she wants to name the baby after him, and he was a decent guy, then she should go for it, especially since the father isn't in the picture.
The second is that she needs to move on and maybe naming the baby after this guy will only serve to keep her bogged down in his memory.
I lean towards my second thought. Name the baby something different as a signal to her new start in life.
Just my 2 cents.
2007-05-18 03:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋