okay so heres my problem (sorry its kinda long). Im currently 37 weeks pregnant and my ex boyfriend (the babys dad) kept comming in and out of my life. he left 2 x since ive been pregnant we are no longer seeing each other , havent been for months now but he does call once a month if that Just to see how the baby and I are doing. I recently found a new guy im interested in and we've been seeing each other for about a month now, but I chose not to sleep with him for the sake of my baby and my ex. Now my ex says its disrespectful that I found a new boyfriend before the baby is even born. Need opinions both girls and guys. what do u think? What would be the difference if i found someone b4 or after the baby is born.
2007-05-18 03:09:38 · 29 answers · asked by CuddleBug 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Im not doing it intentionally nore am I trying to replace my ex as a father. I spoke with the new bf to make sure he understands im not looking for a dad for the baby im looking for someone to make me happy. The new bf understands and said no matter what though he will be there for me and the little one. He's gunna treat her like his own.
2007-05-18 20:59:09 · update #1
If you and the guy are broken up then he really should have no say in your love life. He's probably just saying so you'll break up w/ the guy or something. He's just trying to get in your head. I'm sure if he found a girl it wouldn't be "disrespectful". Just go with what makes you happy. Good luck
2007-05-18 03:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's disrespectful at all. It seems like your ex is just trying to control you. If you two are not together he doesn't have a right to determine who you see. If you are not married, he has limited rights even regarding the baby. If he wants to be a part of your child's life, that's great but you should probably set some ground rules, even legally if you need to. You have every right to go on with your life whether he likes it or not.
I had a friend who met a man while pregnant and they ended up getting married just before the baby was born. He proved to be a better, more stable father than the actual father.
If you and the ex are through, you do what's best for you. You have to take care of yourself and build a good, strong, positive life for your child. You can't rely on anyone else to do it and that baby really only has you so do what you feel is right and don't listen to the ex's ego.
2007-05-18 10:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by jamlinrich 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What right does HE have to call you disrespectful? Personally I think he's an idiot for leaving his pregnant girlfriend and soon-to-be-born child. What kind of man does this??
As for finding someone before the baby is born--if you were married to the baby's father, yes--cheating on him would be wrong until the divorce was final. Since you were only dating, I say you go for it! If you find someone who makes you happy, good for you. :) (And I respect you not sleeping with this new man. Shows that you're putting your baby's interests first. I bet you're going to be a great mom!)
2007-05-18 16:13:39 · answer #3 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really I don't think it's disrespectful at all. You gave the guy a chance not once but twice to be there for you and the baby. If he doesn't want to be there for you and the baby and apparently he doesn't. You have the right to move on with your life and be with someone who does want to be there for you and the baby. Tell him he's had his chance and he hasn't fulfilled his part so your moving on but that he is still the baby's father and as long as he wants to be there for the baby he can be and that you can assure him that your new boyfriend will not and cannot replace him in your baby's life.
2007-05-18 10:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by racehorsegal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no difference to finding someone before or after you have the baby. The fact th at you have held off sleeping with teh new guy for the sake of your child and childs father says alot for you. He's intimidated by the idea of someone else being in the picture. my husband and I began dating when i was 8 months along. My daughter's father, who had gotten married to another woman when I was 4 months pregnant, wasn't too keen on the Idea. He was afraid of being replaced as daddy. But he got over it. And so will your ex.
2007-05-18 10:21:45 · answer #5 · answered by pipsqueekers9900 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It certainly sounds like the father of your child is being selfish, however, he may just be concerned with your new companion... Is he a good guy?- Meaning, can your ex trust him being around his child when hes not there?
-Have you also considered the fact, that maybe you have been getting attached because you want a father figure for your baby? Have you been emotionally down, and your looking for answers and a new relationship only because its there? (Im just saying make sure hes not just taking advantage of you because you are emotionally confused)
-If I were you, I would not take back your ex, but I would take it extremely SLOW with this new guy. You really should be focusing on your health and your new baby! Congradulations!
2007-05-18 10:58:47 · answer #6 · answered by mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't let him dictate your life anymore. You can see and be friends with whoever you want. It is none of his opinion whether you have romantic feelings towards this guy or you are just friends. You do need to concentrate on your baby and the birth but you can be "friends" with whoever you want. I would say do not sleep with this guy that you are "dating" because you are carrying someone elses child and that would a little weird. However, if a guy is interested and understands that you are about to embark on parenthood and is willing to stand by you then great for you. As long as the guy is a "good" person and you trust him around your child. Because you and this "ex" will forever be bound together or at least until this child turns 18. This is going to be difficult but tell your ex that you didn't go out and find this guy to disrespect him in any way, but you have a right to be happy and you can be friends with whomever you please as long as he is good to you and good to your child.
I would say he is just jealous, He will just have to get over it.
2007-05-18 10:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by MommyofTwo 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow what a stand up father to be! He calls you once a month! He must be trying out for the Father of the year award, huh! Please.
What? and its not disrespectful that he's left you 2x while you are pregnant with his child? He's just pissed that you've given up and kicked his @ss to the curb. If the guy you're seeing now, cares for both you and your child to be and wouldn't harm either of you, then you go on & continue. Not sleeping with him is a good choice, though if you decide to, be sure to use a condom. Don't take that chance of std's while your PG.
2007-05-18 11:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not disrespectful to your boyfriend. He is the one that made the decision to leave. You have every right to move on with your life. It makes no difference if its before or after the baby is born. Don't let your ex get to you or stress you out. Do what makes you happy.
2007-05-18 10:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by *~*love always*~* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I have been pregnant twice and I know you need someone there for you. My cousin was in the same situation as you, her baby is not two and she is still with the guy she started seeing while she was pregnant and he plans to adopt her daughter. This could be your chance for happiness with a really great guy. I wouldn't pass it up.
2007-05-18 10:22:35 · answer #10 · answered by hwlajnitz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋